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How do you stop being obsessive?
Im 19 and ive bin going out with my girlfriend who is 17 for 1 year and 4 months. I live in PA and she lives in NJ. I am obsessive with her. I want her all to me. She use to have alot of guy friends like that was all her friends. she told me that she isnt happy and she wants to hang out with her guy friends and im not good with that. i call her alot more than i should. she said that i have till the end of the summer to change or she is leaving me. She has bin the best friend i never had. I love her to death. im just afriend that shes gona meet a guy better than me cause theres alot better guys that she could have.
I need steps on how not to be obsessive. i want to be with her longer then 4 months.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
okay so you love her, a lot but sometimes when you love someone you don't tend to see the full picture. You are both human beings with different needs. You need her all the time. and she needs to know that you fully trust her. Listen you think shes the one for you obviously, and so do you think THE one would cheat on you? No. having a solid friend base of boys and girls is healthy for everyone. When she wants to buy you a present for your birthday don't you think a guys perspective would be better one than one of her girlfriend's? Girls love confident guys if you are secure and confident with yourself you will be secure and confident in your relationship. look limit your phone calls to once a day. have it be something to look forward to at the end of the day, and then on a rare occasion call her to say good morning. By not trusting her you are putting the idea of cheating in her head the one that otherwise probably wouldn't be there. Just trust her I'm sure shes a great girl and you're a great guy, there is nothing stopping you from having a nice healthy relationship. Relationships are no fun if you're constantly worrying. She is supposed to compliment your life shes not supposed to take up every thought. Tell her that you trust her and that you have full faith in her that she wont cheat. Tell her you are sorry and that you are going to work on your issue, and tell her to be prepared for a new you.
Hope i helped :)
if you need anymore help, don't be afraid to ask!
Holly
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If you don't want to lose her then you really have to back off, give her her space, and show her that you trust her. First of all, cut the phone calls down, don't panic when she doesn't answer and don't leave millions of messages. Thats just plain annoying. Next, show her you trust her and you are comfortable enough witht he relationship that she can have guy friends. Let her know that you will try to be less jealous and maybe when you visit her, go out with her guy friends and get to know them. Showing her that you are trying will make a big impression on her and she will love you for it.
Hope I Helped.
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well you need to back off a little. give her space. you know what happends to fire when it is covered and dont have air dont you........it dies. think of that as your relastionship. give her her space and let her enjoy life. no girl wants a guy thats always in her face or in your case calls alot. you can still call just call dont call as much. your relationship should get better;.
hope i helped
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Well I'm sorry there is no set "step-by-step prossess" on how to overcome our weak and natral selves; however there is a pattern on over comeing somthing (fyi this was taken from programs used by people tring to break addiction but still applyes here)
1) Recognize you have a problem.
you seemed to be on that step seeing how you are seeking addvice.
2) understand your problem.
the more you understand what you are dealing with the more likely your going to find a way to overcome your problem. find out WHY you get obsessive in the first place, (this requires a deep soul search and can be diffcult)
to help you with this I've given some avenues to persue.
a- it helps to write down what sets you off. list everything that you make you obsessive. (ask caring friend to help with this --for example you girl friend, or a family member)
b- if you list everything that sets you off, then explore WHY you think that is (keep in mind this is something you must discover on your own). some friend may help you explore but becareful only you and God truely know everything about you. brainstorm reason for you behavoir.
keep in mind there are many ways you can do this but you must stive to learn WHY you act the way you do.
now I'll bring in a little religion into you life (keep in mind this SHOULD NOT offened you, seeing how most religion agree on this matter)
3) rely on God's help you to overcome behavior.
there is a God out there, he cares for us , you. he is our heavenly father and like any loving father is more than will to help his children with there problem -- if they ask.
4) that would mean that sincer PRAYER, asking him in the name of his son to HELP YOU (they will not do it for you, "faith with out works is dead" you got to work for it)
this is the last "advice I'll give to you now.
5) replace the behavoir with something eles that IS good, our actions are like holes the more we do them the bigger they get, to overcome bad behavoir or to get out of the hole, you got to fill the hole up with something that is good. (for example; everythime you feel you self getting obsessive, open you arms and relax, go running, write down (carry with you a notbook and write down what you are feelling or what ever), paint/color, cook, clean, exerices, ....)
I hope this gets you started on your path to conquering your demons. Good Luck
~Shadowfox
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Give her space. Show her you trust her by letting her have guy friends. Call her occationally not too much.
Hun, dont keep her all boxed up for you. Let the world see what a great girl she is. Amd be proud you have her.
If you over obsess too much it will just push her away and thats the last thing you want to happen.
~Loverocks~
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