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Bi, kinda lost, Don't know what to do...Help
Ok, let me just say that if any of you are going to judge me, just stop now, and leave. I dont need your opinion on me choosing to be bi.
So, I'm 15/m and I've come to the recent realization that I'm bi, or at least I think. I've had gfs before, and it was any normal relationship, just the same. But recently I've been noticing guys just as much as girls, and them I met Nick. Now, I met Nick online. I've never actually met him in person, but we've talked for hours on the computer, texted, and I've even seen him on cam so I know he isn't some 60 yr-old man. Well, over these 4 months that I've been talking to him, I've been developing feelings for him. He's adorable, caring, and has this amazing personality that I've come to love. I want to meet him, since he lives about 20 minutes from me, but something is holding me back. I dont know if it's being caught, seeing as how no one knows I'm bi. Or if I'm afraid of being bi and meeting Nick would be the realization. Also, if i should meet him, how do I ask my mother of all people to give me a ride to go see him?
Oh, one more thing, he's turning 20 next week, and im only 15.
Wow, hope you can help, please.
Thanks, Anthony.
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Okay first of all you need to be extremely careful with internet dating, I'm not judging your or anything but you do need to be careful. You also need to be careful because he is older and you really don't know his background, where he comes from, how many partners he has had, or anything. He could easily lie to you about all of it. So I advice before you do anything sexual make him get tested that way you are sure you do not get any STD's, you need to be careful.
If you really feel like you are bisexual and you want to explore to see if you really are, then I say go for it. You have to be true to yourself, otherwise you will never be happy. About telling your parents, that could be very difficult. Hopefully they will accept it and be happy for you, but being a different sexual orientation can be difficult. It is a huge burden, so before you jump to any conclusions realize, you are young and you may just be curious and want to experiment with a different sex. I hope things work out for you.
Hope I Helped.
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Well im not here to insult you so yeah, but i think that maybe the fact he is 20 is a little not cool. Because i mean five/ four years insnt really a big deal--when your older. But because of the fact that he is over 18 and you are a minor could be a problem. Especially since you are both male. Do you see where i am going??
I think that its refreshing to hear that you wasnt born with your feelings. I mean people change and i get sick of hearing the same stuff over and over. I have a gay friend and he is really cool, and some people do have a problem with it but others dont. Mainly its girls without the problem. So you said your bi, maybe you should come out of the closet to some of your female friends?? haha
But telling your mother might break her heart. Maybe he could come visit you and your mom take you to the movies and you guys meet there?? Sorry if i didnt really help much! haha
-hayley
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Choosing to bi? I think you might make more people upset by saying your sexual orientation is a choice then by having one. Most people who identify with any queer label will fight to death to have the fact respected that they were BORN with their sexual orientation, and NOT that it is a choice.
Please understand, I'm not insulting you at all, I just think it's important for you to understand the culture you are choosing to identify prefers not hearing about it being a 'choice', because well, scientific studies strongly suggest that it isn't.
I was totally on board with you until you said he was 20 years old. That is a big problem. First off, as he is over four years older then you (and especially since you are two males) it would be illegal in most places for you to have any sort of sexual contact with him. Secondly, that is a bit too much of an age difference for ANY relationship. Two years closer and I'd say fine, give it a try, but five years is simply too big a cavern between you two to yell across. You both stand to get hurt, you especially, because romantic communication between a 15 year old and a 20 year old is pretty much impossible. I'm sure you will disagree, never the less, that is the reality of it.
Frankly, I think that is probably the biggest reason you are afraid and tentative about this meeting. Deep down, you know that although this crush is wonderful and you have learned something new about yourself, you are not ready to move forward with this self discovery yet. You might be ready to accept that you are bi-sexual, but not ready to actually engage in the behavior. That is okay. I would STRONGLY suggest you take some more time to get comfortable with this idea rather then jumping into a liaison with this guy. Especially since, as I noted before, the likelihood of this particular pairing working out is very, very slim.
Take the time to talk to other people around you who identify as queer. Join a sex positive group. Confess to your closest friends whom you can trust. Give the identity a try before you dive into the relationship aspect of it. Don’t rush yourself. Take your time.
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