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idk what to do, please help.
okay so i have a boyfriend who really loves me and i was in love with him but im more in love with his personality than looks. but i know you shouldn't go by looks in a relationship but it helps. we've been going out for 6 months and i recently became friends with this guy i like knew about before i was going out with my boyfriend and hes extremely attractive. he even likes me and ive hung out with him a few times and we have a lot of fun. i know ive been going out with my boyfriend and i would never cheat on him because im not like that but i feel like i want to be able to like flirt with people and explore, but i feel like im not able to with a boyfriend. Like sometimes i love having a boyfriend and sometimes i feel like i wish i didn't have one. but my boyfriend is in love with me and i don't want to break his heart. he got mad at me for hanging out with this other really hot guy who likes me, but i feel like i should be able to hang out with whoever i want. i dont know what i should say to my boyfriend or what i should do. this is a tough situation because i know my boyfriend will be there for me but this hot guy i kind of like but i don't know if he just wants to just get with me, be friends or anything more or less. this other guy seems really nice and likes me and im attracted to him. i dont know what to do, please help me.<3
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You've got to follow your heart. I know, it sounds kind of cheesy, but it's really true.
If you want to be with this other guy, then go for it. Don't force yourself to stay in a relationship that you don't want to be in. You'll only end up hurting your boyfriend MORE AND hurting yourself in the process.
So sit down and think about it. Weigh the positives and the megatives of staying with your boyfriend, and the positives and negatives of going for it with this new guy.
-Laura. (15-f)
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It can be extremely tough in your position and there is no clear-cut answer. Only you can decide whether or not you want to stay with your current boyfriend or move on to someone else.
You need to ask yourself where you see your current relationship in six months to a year. If you can see yourself still being with your current boyfriend then I suggest staying with him. If you see yourself trapped and unhappy you need to end it now. It may hurt your boyfriend for a while, but he will get over it. However, the grass is not always greener on the other side and just because the other guy is hot on the outside - what is he really like?
You are still very young and you should be having fun dating lots of other guys. That is the only way you will discover what you really want from a long-term relationship.
Just one further thought - if your current boyfriend is getting mad at you hanging out with other people, do you really want to be in a possessive relationship?
I hope that this has helped clarify your situation a little but if I can help you further please let me know. Good luck.
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Thanks for inboxing,
You're quite right, this is a tough situation to be in.
It is clear to me that you're still not sure that you want to be in a realtionship or not. You're feeling as if you need to get out and meet other people and see what they're like before tying yourself down to one guy.
The only thing which I can think of is to have a break in the realtionship. Have some personal space. That way, you can think over what you want to do. As for this other guy, ask him what he feels for you because if he feels the same way as you do about him, then you might as well go out with him.
I'm noting the fact that you used the past tense when you described the reaktionshi between you and your current boyfriend. Are you still in love with the person, or who that person is? If you're only going out with your current boyfriend just for his personality, then he isn't the right guy because personality can change and you could get hurt in ways I'll never know and that's something which an advice columnist doesn't like to hear or see.
As for your current boyfriend, tell him the current situation with you and you need to tell him EVERTYHING because if you don't, he won't understand. I know that this will be hard, but if you take the risk, you've taken a very big step to helping yourself and a step towards your decision. Trust in what you're doing, you're still trying to find out what you want for yourself and he must allow that.
Do get back to me if you want.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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