|
More comfortable with older people than with people my own a
Ok, heres the problem. I feel very comfortable with older people then I do with people my own age. The trouble with that is I'm 17 and the people I get along with are like 34-whatever. Well, when I'm at school I literally can't even look up at people. I get so nervous. I mean it's kind of pathetic but I talk to this janitor everyday more then I talk to anyone else in the school. I literally have my head down and I wear like uberly baggy clothes as well. I feel very uncomfortable with myself. I've had a shrink since I was 8 so don't suggest that. And I already take meds which obviously isn't helping. What can I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
I actually think that's pretty cool because not many people are comfortable around elders. I'm the same way my bestfriend is a 27 year old and I'll be 16 in 4 days time.
However I have a question for you. Do you want to stop your behavior and fit in with kids your own age instead of adults?
If you do then try befriending a classmate. I'm sure someone in your school or neighborhood has the same interests as you.
You never know until you lunge yourself out there.
]
i dont think being around people older than you is a bad thing at all. i mean there are people who prefer hanging out with more mature and well rounded people, which is completely fine.
the one downside of hanging out with people our age, is all the drama and immaturity that comes with it. sometimes its best to keep your distance from that, and it looks like you find the perfect way to do so.
but since you are only seventeen, you still have so much more living you need to do you know? you need to expierence boyfriends, and parties and everything that comes with being young. its ok to let loose and not care about being responisble once in your life.
i think the reason why your not comfortable in your own shoes when your at school is because you havent branched out when it comes to meeting new people. so i would say a way to rise your confidence level is to overcome what your going through, and make an effort to indroduce yourself to people.
believe it or not, many people are scared to be the first one to say something when it comes to meeting someone new. because you never know what the other person is thinking. you could be thinking like will they like me? are they nice to people they dont even know? a lot of thoughts will come to your head, like it does with a lot of people.
i like to look at it this way. whenever im at work and i notice someone new and its their first day, i imagine how nervous they may be. it sucks being the 'new person'. knowing everyone else has been there longer than you, and everyone seems to already have their own little group right? well i ALWAYS go up to them and indroduce myself and try to get to know them.
i know i would feel so much more comfortable knowing im the new girl at work and that i already have people i can come talk to whenever i get bored or whatever.
if you dont try to make someone feel like they are welcomed, they will continue thinking negative thoughts about the situation.
i dont know your place at school and if people have tryed to make an effort to bring you in or not, but if they havent, i strongly recommend you being the first person to do so.
once you know that you have people to call your friends and have your back, you will feel so much better waking up everyday and going to school, i promise. its like a weight being lifted from your shoulders.
so branch out, meet people, show them your a nice and fun person to be around and everything should start getting much better for you.
confidence is key--so show you have some and it will pay off in no time!
(:
]
First of all, it's not a bad thing that you get along with adults better than people your own age. In fact, it kinda makes sense in this way; kids are on the most part, mean and judgemental about anything and everything. Probably the reason your so nervous is because you have had, or are afraid of having, a situation where you are ridiculed or ostrasized. What you really need to start telling yourself and convincing yourself of is; These people your wasting your time worrying about what they may think, say, or do, wont even be in your life 5 years from now!! Instead of looking around worrying what they think. Start looking around and forming opinions about them.
As for how you feel about yourself. I wish I knew what exactly are the things you don't like, or are uncomfortable with about yourself. For me it was glasses, bad haircuts my Mother kept inflicting upon me, and those old black and white shoes with inlays to correct my pigeon-toed problem. Oh yeah, and the cords pants my Mother insisted on buying, they didn't help either. Like you, I also felt at ease with older people. I knew all the janitors by name as well as the NARC's. Which of course made me a bit strange to my peers. I didn't care because I just considered them to be not intellectually evolved enough to be able to handle associating with adults on any other level than as an authority. I kept it to myself, but in my eyes they didn't quite matter as much because they still had soooo much growing up to do mentally. Therefore, what my peers opinion of me was didn't really matter to me. Cause I had already passed judgement on them. (I know that sounds bad but it's truly how I coped with being so different than most of them.) That made it pretty easy to associate with them (peers) without fear and overwhelming nervousness. Once I felt better about myself that is. That's what I think you need to focus on is what your feeling about yourself. When you get that right in your mind the rest will fall into place. I wish I had more info so I could help give you some ideas on that. Write me back if you want to and give me more details about what makes you so uncomfortable with you. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care.
]
Ok well start dressing in clothes that do make you feel comfortable, and if you're already wearing clothes that do make you feel comfortable, then go with that. Try to be yourself (obvious answer but if you really try it will work) and talk to people that you're kinda already comfortable with therefore, the more and more you talk to them, the more and more comfortable you'll get with them!
]
Who says there is anything wrong? There is nothing bad about getting along with older people. In fact, it is a sign of maturity.
]
More Questions: |