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Too fast friendship
I met someone at work, and they're really nice but also kinda strange.
So I was talking to them and being nice, and they're just coming on too strong, they asked for my phone number and always ask when I'm working and to phone them to hang out and stuff.
But it's just like too pushy, like she wants me to always have break with her,and phone her and always do stuff. And I hate to sound mean but I kinda don't want to, becuase she weirds me out. I feel as she is like suffocating me but I don't know her, and she does it all being really nice.
Is there anyway to absent out of this friendship, or at least get them to lay off, without saying it to them don't want her hurt feelings.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I would say the best way to handle this is continue to be nice to her, but start to talk about things you as a person just are not really comfortable with. Tell her that you keep a phone in case of emergencies, but that you really don't enjoy spending time on the phone if it can be avoided. Start mentioning about a relative who recently has come to town and is always trying to make plans with you. Tell her it makes you feel really uncomfortable that they are trying to push their way in your life because your actually quite comfortable with not having to socialize all the time. Tell her "I know I'm capable of being social but I'm not really comfortable with having to socialize too much". Laugh it off and say "I guess deep down I have a bit of an anti-social thing going on but I'm comfortable with that, ya know?" "It's really nothing against 'my cousin' who is really nice it's just me. I need to just have my own down time. It keeps me feeling balanced." Say things like you can't wait to get home and soak in a bubblebath while you read the new novel you bought.(you know something that clearly calls for alone time) Then bring a book to work and at break time eat with one hand and have your book open and reading with the other hand. Seem as though you are completely engrossed in your book. When you find yourself in situations where you pretty much have to talk to her. Find out the things she likes to do and the things she doesn't enjoy. When she expresses things she likes say things like; "Are you serious?? You really enjoy that? Wow we are sooo different. I've never really understood the fun of that. I'm more into Whatever Is COMPLETELY opposite of what she enjoys. lol Do the same concerning the things she doesn't like. Lead the conversation and get her to open up about herself. Then over time use that information in clever little ways to show her that though you are a nice enough person, your not really her type of person. In time you will see that she is less and less interested in being around you because you bore her. If she's not into politic's educate yourself on them so you can drone on about your perspective concerning every single political issue you can find. If she tries to change the subject just kinda say uh-huh but like I was telling you.... and continue on with your long drawn out political perspective. When you see her the next time tell her you can't wait to talk to her during break about the proposition that is being considered for the next election ballot. Before you know it your new best friend might be avoiding you!! Take Care and Good Luck.
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It sounds like this girl probably doesn't have many friends, and she's just starved for companionship. So when someone is nice to her, like you have been, she gets a little too excited and clings on to hard. And that scares people away. It's kind of sad.
But just because you feel sorry for her doesn't mean you have the responsibilty of being her new best friend. On the other hand, just because she's irritating you doesn't mean you have to be mean or cold to her. Just keep being friendly when you're around her. But if you don't want to do something with her, you don't have to... just politely say sorry, you can't. Eventually she'll figure out that your friendship is going to be the kind that stays on the "acquaintance at work" level.
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well, maybe she just really needed a friend.
But, what you can do is to tell her that you call people on a very limited basis. Tell her that you see her so often, that there is no need to call all the time. (You could even talk about how you hate when "people" come out too strong and that you need room to breathe.
Tell her, that you can't answer the phone at times because of where you are and tell her that you are too busy to hang out.
if she doesn;t stop, then you can also tell her that you see her alot and you want to also get a chance to see your other friends.
Good Luck
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