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dont know what to do
First of all, I'm 18, bisexual, and in an open relationship (mainly because I'm not willing to commit to one person yet). In other words, I'm dating three people at the same time. They all know that I am seeing other people as well, and they're okay with that, so don't give me trouble about the open relationship thing. Also, I'm being safe about STDs/pregnancies, so yeah.
I used to be in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. It was not an open relationship. Basically, once we had sex, that's what the focus of our relationship was. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having sex with him. But I want more, like being about to hang out and have a good time without making out or taking off clothes. He's one of the guys I'm currently dating now because I really want this to work out with him (the whole not just having sex all the time thing).
My question is, how can I do this? I don't mind having sex with him at all, even if it's every day. But maybe a few hours of nonsexual activity beforehand.
Another quick question. I'm considering settling down with only one of my partners. The thing is, all three of them are only available to see me about once a week due to their busy schedules, which is not enough for me. Help?
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Well it seems like you have decided who you want to be with and I think for you to show him that you want more maybe it shouldn't be an open relationship. Sit him down and let him know that you care about him, but that you want more than a physical relationship. Tell him that you would really like to try a closed relationship with conversations and fun times that are not always revolved around sex.
Sex is a great way to connect, but you have to make sure you aren't just in it for the sex. Any and all relationships need some good communication and connection on other levels to make them work. About the schedule thing there is really nothing you can do about it, try and get thme to set certain times aside to see you, that way you can decide who you want to be with. They have to be willing to make exceptions for you and so do you.
Hope I Helped.
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The simple truth of life is that you can't have it all.
Many, if not most, adult couples are lucky to see eachother once or twice a week. Life is a busy endevor. Once of the sacrafices we make when we are in a committed relationship is having to neogatiate with another person's schedule. Unless you date someone who is indepedant wealthy (and even if you) they will have obligations that don't include you.
If you already know that someone's schedule simply does not work for you at this point in your life, don't commit to them. It will only lead to dissapointment and frustration.
As for the ex, you might not like my advice much, but it is, in my experience, the very, very best way to get the 'relationship' back into a sexually charged couple: Stop having sex.
Now, not altogeather, but set a firm rule such as, we will only have sex twice a week, or only every other time we see eachother. Sex, as you've learned, can keep people so busy they don't take care of the other aspects of the relationship. If you stop letting sex be a distraction you two can reconnect as people (or in some cases, discover you really don't have much in common besides good sex). Either way, it's important to know for sure.
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