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how to be more outgoing
I mean sometimes in certain moods I am.. but I hate how some people at school think im shy or quiet.. cause I'm usually not like that at home or with my friends. like sometimes i find it hard to be outgoing.. especially since its the third semester of 8th grade so its hard to just be like "hey whats up" to someone that you've seen everyday but never reallly talked to them. thats like what ya do on the first day of school. thats how i was then, i wanted to get more good friends and fell pretty good about myself a lot. but then soon as cliques developed and stuff.. i mean a lot of my friends are from diff cliques and i never really found one i could really be with forever.. im not even sure if ive found my best friends yet.. even with some people i've known since like 1st grade.. sometimes idk i dont like "love them to death" like a BFF should. i dunno if other people worry about those kinds of things too since most people already have their close knit circle of friends and stuff.. so it makes me feel like.. maybe i just dont have good friends? cause i mean some of them i like but some traits get on my nerves so i wouldnt call them my bests, and i wanna get to know more people. i was even looking forward to moving, for a new start, but it turns out my fam may not even move next year but i guess its better we're going to high school with even more new people. like with some friends too like i cant be all crazy and stuff.. i dont know why. and i see other people can be like that but idk whats stopping me from just doing it like i act at home. i hate when people get that wrong perception of me. so how could i guess fix these problem? :( 14/f and thanks<3.
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When I first read this, I had to check the Questions which I've asked because this is exactly me!!
I know what you're going through and I know that it's tough. I started off on a bad foot when I started at my school, sending out negative signs and now, I'm beginning to regret making those extremely rash decisions and it's only know (3 years on) that I've begun to turn my life around and begun to show the others my real, good side which I never let them see before (bar one or two). So far as I'm concerned; I've only got two friends whom I can trust. But everybody else thinks that I'm a blood thirsty freak whom loves violence which isn't true at all and my column proves that.
When I get back to school I intend to speak to others more and to accept them as to whom they are and be more open to them that I was before and just be myself around them, even though they've got their own group of friends, I know I've got to try and open up to them.
This is what I'm going to tell you to do: just be yourself around these people and just be around them more often or as often as you can.
Plus, here's a song which is helping me to gain confidence in myself to break the life of solitude which i've had to endure for 3 years. It's called 'Hero' by Mariah Carey which tells you how to become confident in yourself.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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omg i had the EXACT same problem last year and i am the same age as you too. here's how i feel better about it: friendships aren't always perfect. i used to think i had the worst friends in the world becaus they left me out of their clique in 8th grade. so what i did was hung out with other people that i knew from other things that i really liked and started hanging out with their friends for awhile. once i started ignoring my old friends being mean to me and had fun with a few other friends, i realized that i could actually have fun with other people. and then my old friends started to miss me. all im saying is even though it seems like you have bad friends, they are probably gunna turn out to be okay, because everyone is immature and mean in middles chool and there is a lot of drama just because that is the age group. but once you get to highschool you will meet so many more people , girls and guys, and you wll have so much more fun. once your friends realize that you are confident in yourself and can hang out with anyone then they wiil want to be good friends with you again. but seriously don't worry about it becuase 8th grade doesn't really matter because once you get to high school everything changes anyone. i bet none of your friends in the clique now are gunna be good friends once high school starts, or they will get in a fight or something . all you have to do is find people that accept you for who you are and you can trust and wouldn't talk about you, even if htey're not the coolest person in the school, and have fun with tthem and hang out with them. once peopel see that you are confident in hanging out with whoever you want, they will want to be your friend too. about the outgoing thing, i hve the same problem but only because i am incofident becuase i have braces. so if nothing was wrong iwth me like that i would just be outgoing and be myself. all you have to do is when you are in a big group of people just TALK. even if your not being funny or crazy and just talking about anything or involving yourself in the convo it will be fine, and from theri you can get to being more funny. just pretend you are talking to your mom or sister or close friend alone and if there is something that you would say to them that you tinhk is funny or just good to say, then say it to the person that you are having a convo with. and another thing to do is always act really excited to see everyone. like if one of your friends comes up even if your not close with them, give them a big hug andbe liek HEYYYY. you will seem happy and excited andpeople wil want to hang out iwth you. chances are you actually will get happy and excited and ditzy then and you will start being more outgoing without even realizing it. so thats all my advice . basiclaly just involve yourself in the convo and talk whenever you can even if you weren't really involved in the convo at first. oh yeah and another thing is laugh a lot it will make you seem more funny even if you aren't the one being funny.
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Here's the thing, honey. When you hit high school, most of the friends you have now are going to go different ways than you are. When I hit ninth grade I floated away from my friends, and while we still talked, things went down that severed a lot of our relationships. Also, when I got out of high school, a lot of the bonds that had grown or still remained disintegrated into a fine powder that blew away with the wind.
It's third semester (though I think you mean quarter) and that's a little late to try and find your place in a school that you'll be leaving behind next year for a school with more people, and more opportunity. If you're like me, you'll always have friends on the outside, and when the cliques form, which they will though not like in middle school, they are going be more versatile and let you pass through when you like.
Best friends will still have things that are going to annoy you, like my best friend hating just about everyone on the planet, but they're someone you can trust.
When you hit high school, just find some people, ANY people, and say hi. Don't be scared because of grade or clique, just say hi, and work from there. People will amaze you, if you give them the chance.
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