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slut?
i have done random play w/ two different guys at the same time and i feel very messed up and dont know where it comes from is it normal? i'm 18 years old so its not like im a 14 year old anymore or something, but still i dont care i just let myself do random play and dont care, later on i think about it and dont understand where it comes from and its kept a secret from people...ive never cared for some reason of giving myself up to people and taken my virginity as a blessed thing, is that bad? can it have to do w/ being sexually abused when i was little when i cant even remember what may have happend? opinions please...
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Unfortunately you may not like my suggestion, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I'm a student of Psychology and I deal with several people that are now adults but were once abused as children. It is completely normal that your mind has "blocked" what happened as a child, however I disagree with the person who said "what you are doing to yourself is "normal", because it is NOT normal to have sexual interaction with multiple partners simultaneously and not care at all. Often times people who were abused as children fall into two major groups, those that avoid sex, and those that become promiscuous without care. The reason that you can so easily have sexual interaction without caring is because you are not emotionally present during these incidents.That is a natural defense mechanism that you probably developed as a child. The fact is, you are NOT A SLUT, but what is happening to you is a direct result of the aftermath of abuse. I strongly urge you to seek therapy. If that is not possible consider self education, hit the libraries and learn all that you can about abuse survivors and therapy treatments. Some of the treatments you learn about you may be able to do on your own or with the help of a trusted friend. I apologize if you are offended at the suggestion of getting therapy but frankly I'm more worried about your well being than how you rate my advice. You need help, hands down, no questions asked. Please feel free to contact me at my personal email address nighthunter020@yahoo.com if you would like to discuss this further.
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you aren't a slut.
you are just having fun. i promise that it IS okay to want to have sex, and want to play around. it's completely normal, you're 18 & you're old enough to make your own decisions.
you aren't at all a slut just because you hooked up with 2 guys & don't listen to anyone who says that to you.
your self conscious may be telling you that you want to do these things because you were sexually harassed & because you can actually control what you do now & you couldn't control what was happening to you then, but then again, all teenagers fool around & have fun with different guys.
you're normal, i promise.
:)
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Hi There,
From a guys perspective, i'll give you my thoughts.
I feel that in your situation perhaps the events from your younger life are effecting you, however i can't offer any professional advise in this regard.
What i will say is that your free to do what you like, i think that you need to be careful when 'playing around' with guys, at your age it's easy to be seduced into something like sex or other sexual acts, i'd have to say to you, don't give yourself up so easily, i'm personally against all these one night stands, and much more for a relationship where sex comes later, You've always got to do what you think is right, don't be pressured into anything, and make sure your happy, think of yourself when making these decisions.
At the end of the day the last thing you want is to regret the night before. Be careful, stay safe but most of all have fun (i don't mean by having sex) and enjoy the social outing, party or whatever it might be where you'll encounter blokes that want to get in your pants!
Cheers
Brad
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