ask jesa21



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



My name is Jesa, ask a question, get an answer.
Gender: Female
Location: Washington
Occupation: Student
Age: 24
Member Since: January 17, 2006
Answers: 158
Last Update: October 23, 2009
Visitors: 5091


Favorite Columnists
karenR
I am looking for a cheap costume. It can be all made or partly made and my sister can make like parts of it. Btw i am mexican, dark, brown wavy hair, brown eyes, and i am chunky so preferably something i would be comfy and not embarrasing. P.S. I have been all types of princesses and witches. And i would want to spend just around 20-40 by the most Thanks 13/f (link)
With your coloring you'd probably look stunning as a gypsy or a pirate wench. (Pirate, silk, baggy long sleeved old timey looking shirt, lot's of faux jewels, heavy eye make up, black nail polish put on then wiped back off to give you that really "dirty nail" look, Jeans cut off mid calf, torn up a bit and washed to get the stringy bottoms, eye patch optional, leather or black bandanna over your hair.) For a gypsy, Big hoop earrings, heavy eye make up, red or rosy lipstick, beads around your neck, low cut or off shoulder blouse, and a long colorful (flowing type) skirt, and black boots. Have fun.


My puppy, Glow, will chew on door frames while we are out of the house. We have tried putting a 1x1 over the door frame to deter her, putting hot spices like cyan pepper and tabasco sause on the door, spanking her on the bum and nose, taking her by the head and talking to her (she had this done while she was really little and it made her listen), and of course telling her no or bad in a loud, stern, mean voice. So far nothing has stopped her from either scratching or chewing the door frames. It does not matter wether we leave her for 5 minutes or 5 hours, she still does it. She is almost a year and a half, and we are out of ideas to get her to stop this behavior, please help!

other things we have thought of but not tried yet: always kenneling her, always leaving her outside (but it is too cold for that now), a mussle and soft paws for her clause

anything else would be very helpful please and thankyou!! (link)
Soft paws, or even a good nail trim will help with the scratching. For the chewing head to the pet store and ask/find "bitter apple" and "Fooey" sprays, they are extremely bitter and nasty tasting. I had to get it to keep my puppy from chewing cords and wires. Worked like a charm. Best part after a couple of weeks, he stopped trying to chew on the treated stuff permanently.


Ok I'm turnning 16 in 4 weeks and my dad agreed to let me get any piercing I want! I really want Vertical Snake Bites!

Like this dude has: http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/sarahndipity81/Piercings%20and%20Tattoos/n5vq-vertical-snakebites.jpg


But I can't find any shop that'll do it for me since I'm 16 :(
I live in Illinois, anyone know a nice CLEAN shop that'll do it for me? In Illinois, Idiana and Wisconsin at most. If not...My second choice are Spider Bites.

Like so: http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k17/jordannrhodes/lip.jpg


I'd be getting them on both my left and right side, so it'd be four times...o-o
Know any place that'll do either or for me? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR TELL ME!!!!>:U

One more thing I'm looking to get my septum too, but, I'd like to know. Do you think I should wait a while first before I get 'em or get everything done at the same time?

--Thank you! (link)
In Rockford Illinois, Here are some shops more likely to give you what you want in spite of your age IF your dad goes in with you and signs forms to that effect. (Call to find out for sure)

Sacred Art Tat
406 E. State St.
(815) 708 7888

Goldies Tat and Bod Piercings
1304 Broadway
(815) 963 3700

Cellar Dwellar Tats and Body Mod
(815) 399 8282

Delicious Ink
2310 Charles St.
(815) 397 2262

Dreamline


My girlfriend recently moved into a new apartment and people have been complaining about loud music noises coming from her place. She kept telling me about the building manager coming down and telling her that she needed to quieten things down with the music. She has explained to him that she doesn't even own a sound system or anything of the sort to make such noises. The woman doesn't even have a television!

I helped her "apologize" to the neighbors and we bought flowers and went around to them, letting them know who she was and that the noises were probably from us moving her things around the first few nights. They keep complaining though and I'm afraid she's going to be asked to leave when she has done NOTHING wrong.

What else should we do? I don't think the building manager believes her over the older tenants there... (link)
Try showing the manager that it can't be coming from her apartment, if he still complains, get a video recorder with sound, keep it on all (night/day whenever the complaints are being made) next time there are noise complaints, play back the tape for the manager. (Just make sure you say something a few times during the recording so you can prove the sound was being recorded. (also make sure the time/date stamps are present.) If the complaints continue, and your girlfriend is asked to leave take the lease, the tape, and any supporting documentation to a lawyer or free law clinic. Look over the lease carefully. What you DON'T want to find in tiny print is that the manager/landlord can break the lease at any time for any reason. That clause will leave you with nothing to do but move. Which your girlfriend may want to do anyway. The people there sound like asses. One last thing...if the building manager is a guy you might should consider the possibility that he's hassling your girlfriend, just to hassle trying to get involved in her life with any excuse. Just a thought, I'm naturally suspicious. If there is no way your girlfriend is making the noise, it could all be bull for whatever reason.


is antibiotic ointment okay to put on a tattoo? I just got one behind my ear, I got it two days ago (it's my second tattoo, the first I baught a cream from the tattoo parlor), and it's really red around the area, it also hurts. I've been putting triple antibiotic ointment on it ever since I got it.
Is this fine? (link)
Well, I've got 11 tattoos from very small and intricate on the hand to VERY large on the back. I've been to three different parlors and the answer is...it depends. My favorite parlor (7 of 11 done there)they always instruct you to wash the tat with mild soap and water using just your (already CLEAN) fingers. Then to apply a very thin coat of antibiotic ointment. BUT that is only for the first few days. (by thin coat they mean to rub a small amount over the tat so that it is just lightly shiny, it should be kind of like rubbing a tiny bit in as you would a lotion) After the first few days you would then just wash it with mild soap and water with your fingertips and apply nothing, as the air is needed to heal it. ^ Now that's one set of instructions. (And they have worked well for me)The next parlor, instructs you to wash with soap and water (with fingertips, same as before) and then to apply H2Ocean for tats, only. (Not the H2Ocean for piercings) you would apply the H2Ocean several times a day for about a week. (These instructions also worked well for me, (love H2Ocean, I'll swear by them for ANY body mod.)Lastly, third parlor, I got a big ass butterfly on my shoulder, and was told by this parlor (soap, water, fingertips, as usual) but they insisted that I ONLY use Lubriderm FRAGRANCE FREE (Fragrance will burn) lotion and to apply it several times a day for a week. According to this parlor, aftercare treatment depends on the type of ink used. (they used the hyper-brite colors, the other parlors used classic inks) However, for me the lotion was not cutting it. My tat got dry and flaky and tight feeling. I couldn't stand it so on day two I went back to applying a VERY THIN coating of antibiotic ointment on it, rubbing it in with my fingertips, and did so twice a day for four more days, than I stopped all but washing it and it healed up well. If you think you may already have an infection, go with H2Ocean for tats. If that does not have it feeling better in a couple days head to the parlor...or the doc. Considering the location don't let it go or ignore it if you think it got infected. I almost lost (as in dead) a very good friend because he got a tat in a basement "home parlor" the infection for a stupid 1' clover on his bicep nearly killed him, he spent over a week in intensive care. So hopefully you didn't get yours that way. Last bit of advice if you experience flu like symptoms with a lot of redness (or red lines) from the tat site, see a Doc ASAP.


I have a major PROBLEM!i can't get wet!I have a new bf and we make out everyday but Im NEVER horny!!!what is wrong with me??what should I do about it? (link)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Sex is not usually as easy as it is portrayed in various media outlets. The sad fact is MOST women don't just get all hot an bothered over make out sessions. While kissing is a great way to lead into more serious foreplay, it's not exactly going to get you begging for sex. You'll want to try progressing from just kissing, to touching. The longer you two "play" the more you will want sex therefore the wetter you will get. However, you should know a whole lot of women will still have trouble getting wet even with tons of foreplay. Lubrication is one option, there's a thousand kinds, scents, and tastes out there to experiment with from warming to cooling. Have fun trying them all. (Lubes are useful EVEN if your not ready to have intercourse as they can make touching/rubbing/fingering/handjobs all feel better for both of you.) Another, even better option, when you are ready to have sex, is to receive oral sex from your guy. You'll get wet, you'll get horny, and you will want sex. (Again, this option too will get you where you want to go (aka orgasm) with or without having actual intercourse. Again I will say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! It's just that good sex is a tad more work than the movies make it out to be. Have fun experimenting!


I don't know if anyone in particular is good with "sex" questions but.. i have a slight problem in that department. I've been with my boy for 4 years now but only have been having sex for 1.5 yrs of it. The problem is.. he doesn't last long at all, but he used too. Any tips as what to do? We intend on getting married but I can't if sex just isn't fun. Is that low to say?!.. Anyhow, I hope you can give some kind of advice. Thanks. (link)
Not a problem, and no your not "low" for saying that. Sex IS an important part of any relationship, as long as you know that it's NOT the only important thing. Have you tried less sensitive condoms? If not this may be a great option for you guys. I believe they are called desensitizing or long lasting condoms. I know one for a fact you can get at least one of these type of condoms in whats called a "Pleasure pack". They come in a black box that contains 4 different kinds of condoms, including: flavored, desensitizing, ultra thin, and ribbed. I would really give the desensitizing ones a try before you consider trashing the relationship. another option is to have a lot of sex. If you guys have slowed down lately that can cause him to be overly sensitive when you do have sex. So you can also try giving it up a lot more often. After you try both of these if there is still a problem have your man see his doctor it could be a sign of a health problem that needs attention. If you really love your guy, try to stick out this problem with him until the solution is found. After all with a little tongue action on his part he can still give you pleasure even if he can't last too long. Please try my suggestions,then a doctor before calling it quits k?


I used to use payday loans because an ex got me in debt. I have 600 dollars worth of court fines that need to be paid by the end of jan. Instead of waitin last minute til tax time and possibly get in trouble for not paying them would it be an ok idea to use payday loans to pay off the fines then with tax money pay the payday loans off? (link)
I worked in a Cash Store for awhile, an as an ex-employee I'll give you the same advice I'd give my friends or family members. Avoid them at all costs! They charge an outrageously high interest amount and they are intended for very short term loans. Hence the title payday loan. So considering today's date they would make you pay the interest off several times just to continue holding your check. And while I can't speak for all payday loan entities, most only allow you to pay the interest without paying on the balance a maximum of three times. When it is all said and done you could very possibly have paid over a thousand dollars for your 600 dollar loan. Usually when you are fined in court the judge asks if you need to set up a payment plan. If you have not been to court yet, ask the judge while your there if you can set up a repayment plan because you can not afford the 600.00 right now. If you have already been there and the option was not offered contact the office, or county clerk where you must go to pay the fine and ask them if you can set up a payment plan. I can not see a judge ordering you to pay a fine in whole that you are unable to pay. Since you have until the end of January to pay the fine you should be able to make payments up until then. That way you won't owe as much when your time is up. If all else fails borrow from friends or family, or sell something you own that has value. Anythings better than paying a grand or more for a 600 dollar payday loan. If you want to handle this on your own, making payments is really your best bet. Good luck to you.


I want everyones opinion about capital punishment,
Do you think it is right or is it wrong? & why?
Im jus doin this essay about it
and i wanted to know what you guys thought.
And the advantages and disadvantages of it
Thanks for your opinion :]
(link)
Capital punishment has been around for as long there have been rule makers and rule breakers. It reaches beyond the creation of civilization. Cave people followed by tribal people had capital punishment for what they felt were unforgivable crimes done unto their own people. What it all breaks down to is the majority of civilized classes feel that for unforgivable crimes there must be an ultimate price to pay. While some pro-capital punishment folks may throw things at you like money is saved, for the families, and deterring crime. The fact is capital punishment is human nature, it began as retribution and revenge and that is exactly what it still is at its roots. While our court systems are far from perfect and extremely slanted by race, money, and politics it happens to be the only system we have. Luckily those on death row are allowed several appeals before they are executed. Hence the lack of speed. As to the cost of the death penalty it may not currently be the cheapest option but it does have its benefits. It satisfies the publics thirst for revenge. Since the dawn of time when violence strikes the innocent, the innocent call for blood. Capital punishment is our primal way of righting a wrong. Personally, I'm all for capital punishment. I have no problem with the slow speed of it, simply because it allows the innocent more time to prove their case. On the disadvantage side of it, it is handed out unfairly based on race, fame, money, and politics. As well as not being given to the worst offenders, as it should be. Then again, our entire country is run with favoritism to the rich, white, political, and famous. So honestly how can we expect our justice system to be run any better? All we can do is bitch, piss, and moan like we Americans do best.


I am currently attending University of Phoenix's online classes. I was wanting to know if anyone is going there as well. If you are, are you familiar with the ability to take a 2 week break in between your classes?

I was told that a friend of a friend does this, but have no concrete proof. I am looking for answers from those that have done this before. Thank you. (link)
Hello, I spent a year attending the University of Phoenix. According to my counselors in general there are no breaks between classes. However, I was also told if I ever needed a break anywhere from a week to a month for any reason all I had to do was let my counselors know and it would be arranged. So if you need a break between classes just let them know when and for how long you need to be on break and they should arrange it for you.


Prom is coming up and my sister told me that she would buy me a month of tans and she never did, Now prom is like 3 weeks away and she told me that she would buy me a spray on tan.

I need to know:
Do they stink?
Because people tell me that they stink.

Does it come off in spots?

Does it make you look orange?

I need to know basically everything about it because I dont want to go to prom smelling nasty because I had to get a spray on tan.
(link)
I have another option you might like to try. I don't know what your skin tone is but if you could classify it as light, medium, or dark, I'd seriously recommend that you try Jergen's Natural Glow daily moisturizer. It can give you a really beautiful tan color in 4-5 days, plus being a moisturizer it makes your skin really soft. I have used it before and its the easiest and most natural looking fake tan. All you have to do is rub it in once a day just as normally as you would any regular lotion and let it dry for about 10 or 15 minutes before dressing. You will start seeing color on day 4. By day 5 and beyond you will see a beautiful streak free non orange golden tan glow to your skin. without exposing yourself to cancer causing rays.


hi ,how r u? what is my past (link)
Hello, "what is my past" is a little vague. I'm not even sure who I'm speaking with. Are you the 18 year old asking a question titled "slut"? If so I would be happy to chat with you. However, you will have to explain to me what you mean by "what is my past" before I can answer.

Jesa


i have done random play w/ two different guys at the same time and i feel very messed up and dont know where it comes from is it normal? i'm 18 years old so its not like im a 14 year old anymore or something, but still i dont care i just let myself do random play and dont care, later on i think about it and dont understand where it comes from and its kept a secret from people...ive never cared for some reason of giving myself up to people and taken my virginity as a blessed thing, is that bad? can it have to do w/ being sexually abused when i was little when i cant even remember what may have happend? opinions please... (link)
Unfortunately you may not like my suggestion, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I'm a student of Psychology and I deal with several people that are now adults but were once abused as children. It is completely normal that your mind has "blocked" what happened as a child, however I disagree with the person who said "what you are doing to yourself is "normal", because it is NOT normal to have sexual interaction with multiple partners simultaneously and not care at all. Often times people who were abused as children fall into two major groups, those that avoid sex, and those that become promiscuous without care. The reason that you can so easily have sexual interaction without caring is because you are not emotionally present during these incidents.That is a natural defense mechanism that you probably developed as a child. The fact is, you are NOT A SLUT, but what is happening to you is a direct result of the aftermath of abuse. I strongly urge you to seek therapy. If that is not possible consider self education, hit the libraries and learn all that you can about abuse survivors and therapy treatments. Some of the treatments you learn about you may be able to do on your own or with the help of a trusted friend. I apologize if you are offended at the suggestion of getting therapy but frankly I'm more worried about your well being than how you rate my advice. You need help, hands down, no questions asked. Please feel free to contact me at my personal email address nighthunter020@yahoo.com if you would like to discuss this further.


Hey. I'm 13/f and my bestfriend is 41/f. The other day, I went uptown with her and her other friend, and we went in the woods and they smoked pot. Don't get me wrong, I mean if they want to try it, go ahead, it's their lives. The third friend, we'll call her friend 2, is a pretty bad pot head, although we're still good friends. I'm just afraid that whenever friend 1 is with friend 2, friend 1 will smoke pot and get addicted to it. I have no problem confronting her with my concern, becuase she confronts me about cutting all the time. The issue is, I don't know what to say without coming off like I'm trying to run her life. PLEASE HELP ME?!

I rate..


Sorry it's so long.. (link)
well I truely hope I don't get a bad rating for this but I'm just giving you the facts. Pot may become a habit because people enjoy it, but it's not medically possible to become pysically addicted to it. It's pot not crack. I think you should research both the negative and the positive websites on the subject and draw your own conclusions before confronting your friend. I'd also take into consideration that if your cutting she may throw it in your face that your risking getting a flesh eating bacteria and or a life threatening infection, while pot never killed anybody. I'm sure you've heard lots of bad things about pot, and I'm certainly not a drug advocate (I don't even like asprin) but when it comes to pot I have and always will tell anyone and everyone to research the good and the bad ( youll notice the bad are mostly Goverment sites) and draw your own conclusions.


I'm 14/f and my friend is 14/f [Let's call her June] and my other friend is 15/f [Let's call her Jane].

So, June made a promise to me and Jane saying that she would not do drugs anymore. Well, just yesterday, June came to school high. She took 20 pills of some sort of drug and my other friend had to hold her up in order for her to stay standing up. It was really bad.

I really want to tell her parents or someone because I think she needs help with drug problems because this isn't the first time she's done it. I mean she took some pills last year DURING school. But Jane is really super good friends with June & so she's afraid that June is going to get expelled or suspended. I know that if Jane is a good friend, she'd want her friend to get help. But I can't convice her. I really want June to get help but I don't want Jane getting mad at me along with a few other people.

I'm accepting the fact that losing a friendship is better than to know that the friend is doing drugs and letting her ruin her life. But my other friends aren't and I'm kind of stuck...help? What should I do? (link)
Well, If you tell her parents they can get her in a treatment program and if her parents are involved in the help process she won't get into any trouble at school. Allowing her to go on as she is makes her risk of getting expelled, or even arrested at school 10 xs more likely. I know you want to be a loyal friend to her but you need to ask yourself if your willing to risk her life to keep her happy with you. If she can take 20 Pills without dying on the spot she has worked her way up to that and will soon need to take more to achieve the same high. This may sound harsh but I really think you and Jane should consider this, you don't want June mad at you right? So you want her to be happy with you even as shes laying in a casket? It sounds like you are already realizing this, if you can't sway Jane to your side you should go it alone. Your her freinds it is your responsiblity to help her. Besides if the whole heaven thing flys, do you guys want June sittin up on her cloud watching you two grow up and live your lives like she never will, Shed Probably be pretty ticked then that you two diden't get her help, dont you think?


ok can i get sick if i eat someone out when there on their period??? is is bad??? (link)
Whatever you do don't just go for it as you normally would. Blood in itself would not make you sick but menstral blood is not pure. theres a lot of other things in it you don't want in your mouth. If you guys are insistant on going through with it, have her shower/bathe right before wash the area well, and when you go down don't go anywhere near her vagina, or vaginal opening. Instead keep your attentions focused soley on her clitoris, because once shes showered and washed up the menstration won't be anywhere near her clit for a little while. And yes doing it on her period is rather odd, but I will say it's not unheard of.


i'm planning on heating a needle to make several needle point burns on my hand to make a design. please spare me to you need help gesture, b/c im not doing it to take out pain on myself, im just making a tatoo like burn. what can i do to make sure the scars show up. (link)
the easiest way to do it at home is branding style. but you wouldent use a needle, youd use a piece of metal in the design, shape, or embolom of what you want, heat it in an open flame like a candle for small, or a stove, for something larger. heat for about five mins, and apply it lightly with oven mits or tongs, to where you want it hold it about 15 seconds. dont push down to hard on yourself And DO NOT MOVE!!! most people have others apply it because doing it to yourself youll naturally jerk, if you do it will be smudged. by the way your scar will be interesting enuff for several years but after about 6 it just sinks into your skin smooth and flat and pretty odd looking. and the future description im giving is straight from my own forearm. good luck


I just read one of the questions you answered about tatoos and it said you have 12. I was just wondering something. What does it feel like. I want to get one of my foot,like some stars or something, but I'm defiantly not good with pain. DO you have one on your foot. Where did getting a tatoo hurt the least. Like one your body. Thanks :] (link)
I have one on the inside of each ankle, however my two ankle tats were done at home with indian ink and a saftey pin so my pain on that score would be 10 xs worse than you would experience perfesionally. I will say this the least painful were my shoulder blade and my chest just above the breast. So its right on the muscle. If theres muscle its not as bad. As to exactly what it feels like, the closest I can describe it is to tell you to take one finger and scratch your hand back and forth as hard and fast as you can for like 5 seconds, the actual sharp stinging sensation it gives you is very close to the actual feeling of being inked, however the tat will be a lot slower. the good news after about ten minutes you get kinda used to it and its not too bad at all, it almost gets kinda like a dull numbing ache. my only concern for your pain is that you want it on your actual foot, lots of thin skin and bones there. I dont have any on my foot, but I've got two on my hand, one at the bottom of my thumb just above the wrist and one on top of my ring finger for my mother and father. Unfortunately thin skinned bony places hurt pretty bad. mine were ok simply because I had two others that same day so i was a little used to it. I do have a couple tips for you though, I get through mine by looking around the room, while he works, never watching the needle or anything. read whatevers on the wall over and over and just think of it as a rite of passage, the goal being to show no pain. youll get throu it hun, i promise. just set yourself up for one thing keep telling yourself before and durring as soon as he starts theres no quitting now, just keep mentally telling yourself I have to finish this no matter what. youll be done before you know it, loving your art. If you have really strong doubts about it, wait till your ready, you dont wanna be one of the wusses walkin around with half a tat. last tip, please choose something that has special meaning to you or youll be one of them old people going on an on about how ugly it got and how much you hate it. but if its speacial to you, youll never regret them. id actually like to hear how it goes, if you do it so please remember to drop me a line on what and where you got your tat.
Sorry, ps just remembered, thought id mention it, once you get kinda numb/used to it, youll still feel a lil more pain as the tat gets filled in when he goes near or over the outline, itll hurt a little again. okay im done yappin now.


would a big tattoo on your back hurt? well i know it would hurt, but how much? (link)
I find the sensation to be similar to being scratched very hard and very slowly. My lower back was one of the more painful spots but only as he went over my spine. Hopefully a large one is not your first as most artist will reccomend something small to see how you deal with it first. If you get through one well enough youll get through any others. Location for me has only mattered to the extent of whether or not thier going over a bone. otherwise my back felt just like the others. I have 12 tattoos the one on my back is the largest, covering the area. So if you have a tattoo it will feel the same for the most part except over your spine. Just keep in mind the bigger ones mean more time under the needle. If you dont have any, id reccomend a small little anything anywhere to give you an idea of your pain tolorence. worst thing you could do would be to start a big one clueless and not be able to finish it, and it happens to alot of people. you may even have seen people with the "armband" tattoos that dont go all the way around the underside. lets just say it most likely was not meant to look that way. Otherwise research the shop, and its artists, double check for new needles, NOT just sanatized ones, and enjoy your art.


I was wondering if your anorexic how long does it take for you to loose weight if you dont eat?
im not anorexic or turning it but i was wondering. anyone know!?!?
thanks
-katelyn (link)
Anorexics who just stop eating and carry on thier normal day to day routine without added excercise lose between 3 and 5 pounds after thier first day. (next morning after a day and night of no food) the second day between 2 and 3 pounds, the third day betwwen 1 and 2 pounds. after that it evens out to about a pound a day for several weeks (note: excersice would accelerate the weight loss to a rate undeterminable.) then it slows down to about a pound every other day.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker