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TOO HONEST?
OK well i have this friend that im really close to. but lately we've been getting into a lot of arguments. And they all have to do with guys. Im gunna hate myself for saying this but shes reaaally overweight. that doesnt matter to me we've been friends forever. I know this might sound self-centered but i think she gets jealous because i get a lot of attention from guys. And recently a waaay OLDER guy has been "interested" in her.(THIS GUY IS 5+ AND SHES 16) She doesnt even know him and shes all in love with him already. I tried talkin to her about it and told her its too soon to like him that much. She said i was jealous and it all blew up in my face. But i dont want him to just sleep with her and forget her. Am i being jealous? Or am i too honest? I dont want our friendship to end over a guy she just met. So any advice would help! THANKS! =)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
i hate to tell any one to snitch on a friend, but sometimes its just the right answer. tell her parents, they need to know. that guy has no business being with her if shes underage. your friend may hate you for it if she finds out, but its all you can do if you want to be a good friend.
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No, it doesn't sound like you're being jealous... it sounds like you're honestly worried about your friend getting hurt. And you're probably right. If she doesn't usually get much attention from guys, it will be easy for her to fall hard for someone who shows an interest. And yes, if this guy is a dog, she could end up being used or hurt.
unfortunately, this is a really common situation. We've all seen friends get into relationships that we don't think are the best for them. Sometimes, like your friend's situation, we can see that the guy is just using them... or it could be a guy who's too clingy, or too demanding, or even abusive... or just bad news. And we want so bad for our friend to realize what everyone else can see so plainly: This guy is no good for you!
The problem is, a girl who's "in love" isn't going to listen to anybody who tries to rain on her parade. Even if she knows deep down that it's not the best situation, she's going to close her eyes to it... and she's going to resent anyone who tries to make her see it. If it's really a bad situation, she will eventually see it, and hopefully before too much damage is done. But as much as you want to help, she's going to have to figure it out on her own. If you keep saying bad things about the guy she loves, it will jeopardize your friendship.
So my advice is... go ahead and tell her nicely - once - that you're worried about the *possibility* of her getting hurt. And then drop it. Let her go ahead and make her own decisions, and be there as her friend. If things turn out badly, she'll need you more than ever, and then you can be a shoulder for her to cry on.
Good luck!
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