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Should I leave him alone or not?
I am a 22 year old female & I'm having a huge delimma. Ok so I started hanging out with this girl let's call her Jill ... she is married to let's say Bob. I been hanging out over there for about 3 months. Jill has 4 kids && only 2 of them are Bob's but he is not certain because Jill just revealed that the youngest one might not be his. I cant lie I have been attracted to Bob since the first day I met him but HE IS MARRIED. I know it's wrong. Jill has cheated on him so much ... just within the last 3 months she has revealed stuff to me that I could not even grasp, stuff that you dont do when you are married && in love. Only she doesn't love him she just wants him to be in love with her while she is out sleeping with other people. She wants to be happy but will do everything to make sure he isnt. Well I went to his work to get some stuff && sent him a text message. He thought it was Jill trying to set him because they just had a fight. Well we met up, talked, kissed, && now he has moved all his stuff out of their house, took the 2 kids that he thinks is his, && is buying a new house. If we are not hanging out we are on the phone or texting each other. I know this is wrong but I cant help the way I feel. This is not the first time they split so I dont feel as if this is my fault. I kinda look at it as fate ... they broke up before && if he left && didnt come back he wouldn't of met me. What do I do? Should I leave him alone or jump in the fire?
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You have really already kind of put yourself in an awkward position. You really have to go with your gut in it. It sounds as if he is better off without this woman, so maybe tell him that they are better off apart. Now you have to decide whether or not it is worth losing your friendship with Jill. She doesn't sound very nice, but thats really up to you. In the end you just have to go with your gut and listen to your heart.
Hope I Helped.
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i do think you kinda put yourself in a bad position with envolving yourself with a married man even if jill cheats on him i mean do you want to be like jill i say if you really like this guy talk to him and if he seems like hes still in love with jill then let it alone but if he does seem like he want so go through with being eperated then i see no problem with you having some sort of relationship with him but make sure his wife knows you really shouldnt be sneaking around if you really like him you can wait a bit for this whole brak up to go through
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You cannot justify your cheating with Bob just because Jill did it. But that is done and over with now. You can’t change what you did, or what you feel, but you are an adult so you MUST behave responsibility.
You know it is wrong and you have an idea that what you are doing is still wrong, but you keep making excuses. You are justifying. Justifying will make you feel better. It will not make it less wrong.
Their marriage problems are not your fault of course, but you are making the situation worse by 1.) putting yourself in a vulnerable relationship which is not being set up on a firm foundation to succeed, and 2.) Distracting Bill from dealing fully with his failed marriage and focusing on his main responsibilities which is the making a clean break from his marriage and taking care of his children.
At very least you should speak to him less, and take things very, very slowly. Although it would probably be best if you took at least a fourth month break from contact with him. He has adult responsibilities that you currently cannot help him with, you are only just an adult yourself! In fact, there is a good chance you will be a negative part of this situation and a detriment to the things Bob needs to take care of like his responsibility to break from his wife in a mature and respectful way, and to support and express the new situation to his children in a way that makes them feel loved and secure.
Although you want to support him, as a romantic partner you can’t possible be a positive element of this mess, and in your heart you know this.
Be mature, be adult and abandoned your person pleasure for the sake of the health and happiness of others. You know you are not a positive part of this situation right now. Take yourself out of it.
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