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Apartment hell. How do I convince my mom?


Question Posted Tuesday March 25 2008, 4:48 pm

Hey all, Siren here. For once I need YOUR help. Quick request - PLEASE give me as many ideas as you can, and as much help as you can. I'm getting desperate.
Okay. I live in an on-campus apartment with three other girls, Lacy, Chelsea, and "Chelsea2". I've never really gotten along with girls, they strike me as false and materialistic, and it drives me insane. (Not that I don't enjoy fuzzy things and shiny things, but still.) I'm having a number of problems with these...girls...but the biggest issue is that they all hate me for absolutely no reason.
Not to mention the fact that there's no room in the fridge for my food - out of everyone here, I'm the only one who actually watches what she eats (and I have to, if I don't eat right for a day I lose 5 pounds).
Lacy constantly bashes my race/religion (I'm Jewish by blood) even after I've told her it bothers me and asked her to stop. Her response was "I'll stop when you start doing chores." We don't have "chores". We're adults, or at least we should be.
Chelsea always assumes that I'm eating her food - she and I both drink whey protein shakes. There was a note on hers this morning saying "Don't drink my protein shakes, get your own!" when my container of protein powder was sitting right there.
Chelsea2 has randomly decided to pretend I don't exist, so simply put, I'm miserable.
Now, I've convinced my mother to help me move off campus once this year lease is up, and I'm currently apartment-hunting, and have found a definite possibility. It's $759 a month for 1 bed 1 bath, and my mom's paying something like $680 a month for a 4-person apartment where I'm miserable. Everything about this off campus place is better (except me paying for things). Only problem is my mother WILL not help me plan ahead.
I'm looking NOW because I want to be ready to LEAVE in three or four months, however long I have. She doesn't seem to understand that to be gone then, I have to have a plan asap. My plan involves her because sadly I'm not rich or famous yet. If it was up to me I'd have been gone months ago.
Not to mention the fact that I have major sleep issues, and being surrounded by people who hate me doesn't help. My parents are paying for an ambien prescription, which they might be able to stop doing were they to let me move.
Anyway. Any help you can give me in relation to my mom issue or the roommate issue would be amazing.
-Siren =(


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Razhie answered Tuesday March 25 2008, 7:54 pm:
You haven't been to clear about what it is you need from your mother, or what it is she is not helping you with.

Plan yourself. Then ask for her imput on the plan.
Planing yourself involves knowning exactly when your lease is up, what your responsibilty in leaving that lease is, having a budget for the next school year, and working to make up the difference in that budget if nessicary.

It also means knowing how much money you need to ask your mother for, if you need her help in signing any leases or bank statements and then ASKING her for that help.

She can't that part for you. She can't even help with a lot of the parts I mentioned above. You have to go to her with the details and with specific questions like.
Will you co-sign for me?
Will commit to giving me this much towards rent?

Although you are right that you need to be planning now, you need to also understand that those plans will probably shift in the next few months. Your mother might be prepared for that. You should be as well.

If this is not the advice you are looking for, you need to be more specific about what points your mother needs to be more supportive on.

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