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Why does it still bother me?
I've been with my bf for almost 2 years, and he makes me sooo happy. I lost my virginity to him, and he's my first love. I knew his previous girlfriend really well and she told me every detail about their relationship. They never had sex but they did other things... if you know what i mean... She was his first love, and i was the one who comforted him when they split up. But now we're together and i still get upset when i think about him with her. I know its natural to be like that with your bfs ex, but i cant help but cry when i think about him being in love with her, and although he says he doesnt still think about her i know he does.
Is anyone else going through this? or do you know any ways i can try to get her out of my head. It doesnt affect our relationship, but when i'm on my own it plays on my mind...
Thank You in Advance xx
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I went through this same situation with my boyfriend of 3 years. It is completely normal.
But just try to take this into consideration, 'you always remember your first love and deep down you always love them.' You may not be IN love with them anymore but they will always hold a special place in your heart. It is a very difficult thing to deal with if you have never been in love and your partner has. The best thing to do is to try and understand that at one point he loved her but something came up and things didn't work out. Now he's with you and obviously thats where he wants to be or he wouldn't have spend 2 years with you.
I know its hard but just try and be understanding. I know it hurts but in the end he will respect that you at least try to understand things for him.
Hope I Helped.
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Here are a few things to consider, some of which might help, some of which won't, but it's all very likely to be true.
Forgive me the Hallmark schmaltz, but "First Love" is a special thing. It would be great if every couple could be each other's first love, but that's just not how it works a lot of the time. However, "First" doesn't have to mean "Best", and often it doesn't. Speaking for myself, I have been in love with three different women during my life. Each time felt different, each time was wonderful, and the love I now feel for my wife is the most wonderful of all, even though the other two preceded it. He loved her first, but that doesn't mean he loved her more.
I hate to tell you this, but he's telling a white lie when he says he doesn't still think about her. He most certainly DOES still think about her. I've been married for ten years, and I STILL think about the girls I dated in high school every so often. That is normal behavior, healthy, and to be expected. He has happy memories of her, and he should not have to suppress them or pretend they never happened. Those memories and experiences are part of him. He would not be who he is now if she hadn't been a part of his life, so in a way you can be grateful to her for whatever she gave him that made him a guy you fell in love with.
There are things he's shared only with you. Not just the obvious (sex), but every moment he spends with you is something he's only shared with you. His moments with her are finished; his moments with you are ongoing. Let that give you some peace of mind.
Remember, envy is not an attractive trait. The more you ask him about her, or get upset that he had a history with someone besides you, the worse it reflects on you. You must find some way to get over this, or your fears will be self-fulfilling.
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i'm kind of in a similar situation. i've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, and he's in college but i'm still in high school. his first serious girlfriend goes to my school, and so i know that he never sees her anymore, but i still do.
him and i were best friends before we were dating, and we were best friends while he dated this other girl. i remember one night on AIM he told me he thought he loved this girl, and i didn't really care at the time since we were just friends. however, now that we're dating i sometimes still think about him saying that and it makes me really upset. i'm kind of jealous of this girl for being his first serious relationship, but i've been thinking about it different recently. since your boyfriend is now dating you and loves you a lot, you can look at it in the positive note of "well, since he had this experience with another girl, i know that since he's been with me for so long that he means it very sincerely with me". like, he knows that he really IS in love with you, since he's had feelings for another girl. i hate it when people have been dating for like 1 month and think they're so in love, when really it's not love. idk if any of that made much sense, but now that he knows what love really is, he must want the real thing, and you're the real thing for him.
hope that helps a little and that you're not alone :)
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