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friends! nothing more!
F/14
One of my best freinds is a boy, and he came over like twice or three times. Today we wanted to go to a football game and my parents say "I dont think this relationship you two are sharing will work out" and im standing there with my mouth hung open and they dont believe me that we are JUST FREINDS. They wont let us hang out cause they think were going out, and my parents are really over protective. I tell them that were just friends and they say "A boy and a girl cant be 'best freinds'"
Thats definatley not true and i dont want to bring it up again, but i definatley wanna hang out more with him cause well . . . WERE FREINDS!
Im totally lost and embarrassed, i need a way to let them know that there is no way were ever gunna go out!
Were like brother and sister!
HELP!
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Hi,
Your completely right in everything you say, of course a boy and girl can be friends, best friends even - without their being any sexual element to the relationship - I like most people have plenty of those relationships myself.
The most distressing part of all this is you two are clearly very close and your relationship therefore is very important and you need to be able to spend time together.
You use the word 'over protective' and again you're absolutely right - even if this boy was your boyfriend it wouldn't be any of your parents business. They need to accept you're growing up and have your own life and as such are responsible for your own relationships and your own business.
Try talking to your parents calmly, explain how you feel and even show them your question and this reply. Do you have any one who your parents may listen to who would see things from your point of view (often grandparents come in very useful!)
If this approach fails then you can not loose your friend or generally live a life filtted and vetted by your parents at every turn so my advice (to be blunt) is do what the hell you like and do it behind their back if that's what it comes to.
On a more positive note this is not an uncommon stage for parents to go through and their behaviour normally dose improve with time!
Good luck, keep me informed
CHAN XX
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Well, first let me say that I'm totally on your side with this. I've had lots of guy friends who I like hanging out with because, well, they're just fun to hang out with! But let's take a look at it from your parent's viewpoint, because it always helps to understand where they're coming from when you're trying to present a good arguement.
For one thing, a lot of people DO think it's impossible for a girl and a guy to be "just good friends." Not from the girl's side... girls always have guys they consider just friends and nothing more. But from the guy's side... lots of people believe that guys are always thinking of "one thing", and that somewhere in their mind, they're always hoping that a friendship might lead to something more. Your parents might totally believe that YOU have only friendship in mind, but they may worry that your guy friend has other motives... and that you might eventually give in to that.
Another thing they might worry about is appearences. If you're always hanging out with this guy, especially if it's just the two of you, it may appear to other people that you're going out (even if you aren't). And if your parents are against you dating right now, they may worry what other people will think. They might imagine people saying, "Oh, I see they're letting her date now." Or even, "Oh my goodness! I can't believe they're letting her spend so much time with that boy! What scandal!"
So that may be what you're up against. The solution? Well, if you really like spending time with your friend, you may have to settle for hanging around him in a group. If there are other girls and guys along with you, it won't look like it's just you two together. You could also try getting HIS parents involved... next time the two of you want to do something, have his parents call your parents. That might give it a more innocent "play date" kind of feel, and your parents might be more comfortable with it.
Good luck!
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I totally know what you mean. One of my best friends is a guy and for like five years my parents thought that there was "something else" going on. Obnoxious, right?
If you two have a mutual friend, ask them to come along too. My parents suddenly found it not weird at all when I asked to go hang out with my guy friend and a mutual female friend.
I can understand why your parents are freaking out, but they have no reason to be. Time will help, that's for sure, but for now try to hang out in groups or at school. And keep trying to convince your parents that they're being freaking creepy. They'll get the message sooner or later.
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