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Being Different
Hey, I am 14/f and currently in grade 9.
When i made the transition from middle school to high school, i hardly knew anyone. Now, i know more people, and more comfortable. I am a really niice girl, smart and pretty. It took me a whole to realise it but i finally did. I'm pretty, but not like other girls. I have a huge nose, which takes up most my face. The other girls look so perfect. I have learned to work with it, and try to beautify myself more. Now, i do look pretty but not the way guys would want. And another thing. Im different. I am not like the other girls at my school. I am really smart, respectful to everyone and all the teachers, and i do not have a rep as a whore or anything. I seem like a nerd to people, and whatever i am fine with that, but these people cant accept me being different. I choose to stand out and not to drugs and be slutty. I choose not to give adtitude to my teacher and ive grown up to be respectful to everyone. But really, i seem like your average girl, i dress normally, i look normal, and i act like any other teenage girl. I just really need help though. The guys at my school make me feel ugly. They make me feel like I'm lower then them. They make me feel like waste, like im not "cool" enough. Just because I am not the skinnest, preetiest girl (in their eyes) they make me feel invisible. An example would be today. We were in class and a girl was sitting in front of me, talking to me. This guy that im somewhat close with, was leaving so he was bye and kissed her (RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE) and then turned to me, and patted me on the head. I was so frustrated over that because he made me feel so disgusting. Also, i like starting conversations with people and talking to them, so i usually strike up a convo with some cute guys in my class, and they usually just walk out of the conversation when saying one word or just act like they dont have time to talk to me or anything. It makes me feel useless, but i know im not. This is really irritating because i know i have something to offer, but the guys just look at the other (PRETTIER) girls and make me feel like crap. I know, this is only grade 9 and guys will change, but its lowering my self-esteem right now. I am smart and i've learned to only pay attention to those who matter, and mean something to me in my life but this has just gone too far.
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Wow, you sound like me. Like a lot. I think we should start a club! I know exactly how you feel.
Anyway, one day there will be a guy who will like you for you. You probably understand this, and currently, you probably don't care. You want a guy now. We all do. But when a guy comes along that changes your mind about all the others, you realize it's worth the wait. You're probably too mature for the guys who are in your grade anyway, because you see past superficial things.
However, there probably is someone who likes you. You just don't see it. They are either too shy or they're dropping hints, but you're too busy looking at someone else. If you're as smart as you sound, and pretty too, there is definately someone out there who likes you.
Now, if you're sure no one likes you whatsoever, and you really don't want to wait, because hey, waiting only gets you so far, put yourself out there. Join a new club, take up a new hobby, strike up a conversation with an attractive guy at the mall, ask friends if they have any single friends they can set you up with, ect. Remember though: don't get too disheartened if this doesn't work.
Bottom line: Everybody loves somebody sometimes. And your sometime will come when fate wants it to.
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