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My boyfriend doesn't trust me
My boyfriend and I go to different schools. I've never cheated on him, I don't flirt with other boys. But the other day he heard from a few people that go to school with me that I was all over his best friend Freddie.
Fred and I are really close, but he's going out with my really close friend. I would never do anything with him; I see him more as a cousin or brother or something. All that happened was at lunch we were insulting each other helluv, but really just kidding around. Then I made fun of his hair and he started fake pouting, so I ran behind him and hugged him (he was sitting down). Apparently everyone that was there thought it was really weird. His girlfriend got freaked out and thought that I was doing it to piss her off.
So my boyfriend hears about all of this later and gets really upset with me.
I really don't know what to do
I talked to my boyfriend about it but it didn't really solve anything. i told him that all I was doing was screwing around, but he seemed hurt and basically said he was thinking about breaking up with me. I really don't get how something so meaningless turned into something this big. I wasn't even thinking when I did it... I definitely didn't expect it to blow up and piss everyone off.
I apologized to Fred for making him uncomfortable. I apologized to his girlfriend, but she said it wasn't a big deal because she shouldn't have gotten so worried in the first place. i felt really bad though.. and I hope things are actually okay between me and them.
I honestly am not the type of person that would do something so horrible on purpose. I didn't mean it the way it looked.
I don't know what to do. Is everyone overreacting? ..or did I really screw up that badly?
How am I supposed to fix this.
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well its okay to have friends that are male but if your boyfriend dosn't trust you try harder to earn his trust. if he means alot to you you'll try.
lots of love,lizzie
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I would like to point out that even though you thought it wasn't a big deal, it may be to someone else. However, he does need to trust you enough to be able to handle the jealous tendencies. Let him know that he can trust you, but if he feels that he can't maybe he should just walk away now, because a relationship without trust wouldn't be worth pursuing. I hope that make sense.
Also, remember not everyone has the same sense of care-free actions as you do, and it may actually offend someone. Do I think you screwed up badly? No, you didn't. I think you were just being yourself and that they all took it wrong. Do I think they are overreacting? No. I think they are justified but since you are their friend they should understand that nothing was meant by it.
As for the lil snitches that told your bf, watch out, it could be someone wanting him too.
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Hes insecure.
He goes to a different school, he doesnt know who you're around or how you interact with them, he doesnt know if (and is apparently worried that) there might be guys you want more than him that you just havent gone out with, etc.
Its completely innocent, but your boyfriend needs and wants reassurance about that. Yes, he is overreacting a little bit. He is overreacting because, as I said, he is insecure in himself. He probably isnt sure what you see in him.
Sit him down, and tell him he shouldnt break up with you. Tell him it was completely innocent and that he has nothing to worry about. Explain your relationship with Fred and then explain the reasons you are with him and like him.
Just be patient. Its his own lack of confidence thats causing this, so sit him down and see if you can't give him a few reasons to be more confident about your relationship.
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