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relationship isn't doing anything for me
16/f ..first boyfriend. 15/m.
i'm not very experienced with relationships.
we've been going out for a month, and this guy has already started touching me. and telling me that he loves me. and discussing future plans to have sex. and all that.
i'm a good student. well, i used to be 2 months ago. my grades have dropped. i've stopped caring about certain subjects. i can keep a steady, mediocre gpa..but...its just NOT enough for me, you know? i just turned 16. i want to know what to do with my life. all this new overwhelming attention from a boyfriend...is..well...overwhelming...
and im not in love with him. i dont even "love" him. i think i just like his attention. i'm very attracted to him. i know this is very bad. but maybe not as bad..since i get this feeling..that he's using me just to let go of some of him horniness [according to half of my friends...] i even catch myself flirting with other guys.
i dont want to do something foolish with a guy...and give myself away to a guy that doesn't even like me for me. that i dont even "love". even though...it's probably not "love". there is no love at this age, i guess...
and, even for this ONE month...SO much has changed. i've gone from socially-challenged quiet/shy girl...to this social butterfly...a newborn.
but i dont care for these social gatherings of friends and my boyfriend anymore. they make me sick now. i want my shy and quiet life back. i don't know what to do.
if i break up with him, i know i'll be really heartbroken. he probably wont care though [maybe he will]. but im just really clingy like that, ive noticed...towards anything.
so. i don't know..
thank you so much in advance.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1st off the only way to get what you want is to ask. so if you dont want him to touch you then tell him that. if he is a good guy he will stop. if he doesnt punch him in the face!
And 2nd grades are more and important than anything. I dont care what people say, these grades determine your future and you dont even know if ur gonna stay with this guy so grades should be more important and you shouldnt let them drop no matter what.
i dont really understand why you get sick and all from socializeing but hey if you dont want to be around those people then you dont have to be.
hmm and one last thing. You shouldnt be with this guy if he is just with you for sex. If he is pressureing you to do that and you dont want to and he wont quit asking you then i suggest you get out of this relationship. But i hope everything gets better for you.
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Well I wouldn't go as far as to say that your grades are because of your relationship =] Relax a bit. A lot of the stuff you're describing is pretty normal for example:
Using me for horniness - on a large scale, yes, it's a problem. But everyone does this to some extent in relationships.
Not being "in love" just yet - a lot of people take months to really "fall in love" in a relationship. It's pretty normal to be just attracted to the person at the beginning.
Flirting with other guys - once again, if you're all over everyone but your boyfriend, it's probably not a good thing, but some flirting with other guys when you're in a relationship is pretty normal and not a big deal.
If you genuinely feel uncomfortable being in this relationship, I'd say by all means break up with him. It's no good to either of you if you feel that way.
However, if you still like this guy and want to make it work, talk to him. Tell him that you'd like to be less social, because your social life has changed completely and you're a little uncomfortable with that.
Don't give up completely on teenaged love. It can exist, but nothing's perfect, and, of course, it takes time.
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you can combine who you once were and who you are.
you don't have to pick one or the other, and you don't have to hang onto a guy.
if you don't really care about him, i say breakup with him.
be single for awhile and have fun with your friends and flirt as much as you want.
get focused on your grades again,
don't change if you don't want to.
be whoever you want.
good luck (:
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it sounds like you're afraid you're losing the old person you use to be. the person you knew. change isn't always a bad thing. and social gatherings are a good thing. you can still make time for yourself though. to think, do what you want to do, alone. i get that, it's calming and peaceful..
now with this boy, if you feel he is pressuring you in any way, you need to tell him and ask him to stop. tell him what you've told me, you're grades have dropped and it just isn't you, and you aren't okay with it. you have to make this happen. and clearly you aren't ready for sex, so make it clear to him that it isn't going to happen. and you've only been dating a month, so i know you aren't inlove, like you said. he shouldn't even be telling you that he loves you yet. atleast not until the third month of your relationship. don't say it until you're ready. it isn't right for him to be pushing you, to do or feel anything. so have a long talk.. make him understand. and listen to your friends, they see you so they know what's going on. and if this guy doesn't respect you and what you want then he isn't worth dating. even though you'd get hurt, you knew that was possible going into the relationship it's a chance you took. good luck and godbless. any other q's just ask me dear. :)
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You should be telling him how you feel not a bunch of people you don't know. Sorry, I know that's harsh but it's the truth. If you don't like him, fine, he'll get over it. (I hope anyway, Lord knows how todays youth is so Emo.) Quit pretending you like him and let him know.
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