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More roommate stuff...
Hey there! You've been really helpful in answering my questions about my roommate and all of the problems we've been having. You seem to know quite a bit about dorm life, so I had another question for you.
My ex roommate now wants to have a peer mediation with an R.A. over the stupid refrigerator incident. I didn't do anything wrong and I just want this to be done with. Should I go to the mediation anyway to settle things or just keep telling her "I have done nothing wrong. I have nothing left to say to you?"
Thanks for all your help!
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I would say go to mediation if you think you can keep you can stay calm and collected during it. Speak to her as little as possible prior to the mediation and work through the mediator to arrange the timing. If she says “I want to go to mediation.” The proper response is “Then have the mediator contact me and I’ll discuss the arrangements with them.”
Communication with your ex-roommate should remain as closed as humanly possible for your own mental health and protection.
However, if you think you can’t keep your cool and stay calm during mediation, stick to your “I have nothing left to say to you.’ line.
Remember how I said she would try to up the ante to get a response? I imagine this isn’t the first tactic she has tried right? But that is exactly what this is. She is trying to get a response out of you, and since her irrational behavior has failed, she is now trying a seemingly rational approach.
You don’t owe her mediation, if you choose to do it, do it because you believe it can improve things for you or help you grow. Don’t do it because of peer pressure or because she whines.
The last thing to consider is this: Do you want to remain in a dorm next year? If you do, then mediation would probably be a good idea. It makes you appear open to the dorm processes and policies and willing to deal with even (extremely) difficult people.
It really comes down to: do what is right for you and what you will benefit from. If you only have two months left in this dorm, I’d say screw her and her little games. If you want to make an investment into longer term dorm life, talk to the mediator.
Glad I've been helpful ;).
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