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idk what to say to this boy
15/f
ok so i used to date this boy--Brent. we were together for a year and a half on and off. he was my first love but he was also a pothead. well one night at our school's homecoming game bonfire, he got high and decided to blurt out to my step-sister Brittany that he had cheated on me. at least thats what she says; he denies it. well this was about a year ago. since then ive dated his friend--Cody. and Cody and i had this thing over the summer where we were talking and long story short-he turned out to be a complete butthole. well im still not completely over Cody but lately Brittany has been trying to get me to give Brent another chance and he was myspace-messaging my best friend; Amber trying to find out if i still liked him. so i messaged him and asked why he was bugging my friend. well we had this big long talk about how hes still in love with me and he was begging for another chance; even tho i told him i couldnt go through that again. well i dont like him anymore but i dont know how to tell him. but on the other had, i kinda want to give him another chance. Brittany and Brent both say that hes done with pot and everything but im scared. thank you if you took the time to read this long question and please help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well if you do like him next time he askes you to give him another chance just be like fine but one more if you really hate him just be like uhh stop asking and just NO!!!
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Personally, if a guy was into drugs I wouldn't be able to trust that he quit right away. Another thing, he cheated on you? REmember that saying..Once a cheater always a cheater, now this doesn't always apply, but it's what you think is best. If I was in your situation, I think I'd wait a while. See what happens and stuff, I'd make sure I knew this person was done with drugs for good. I'd also need to regain his trust. This is up to you, I mean if you have no feelings for him anymore, than maybe it's best that you just tell him that he's lost your trust and you can't risk getting hurt again. It's good to be scared, it means you're cautious. Don't be afraid to talk to him though. I really hope I could help, anymore questions, message me:)
<Guidance Girl>
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Drugs? Eww... I can understand why you would want to give him a second chance. You don't seem to have the same feelings for him as he has for you. If you are scared about him with pot then thats a clear sign of whether you should give him another chance. You could try it, but things could also get messy. I would steer clear of that and just find somebody else. I'm not sure how old he is, but still even around that age drugs causes too much damage. I won't judge him for it, but just use caution if you do decide to give him a second chance. If you go through with it, make sure that it is because you really do want to try things again with him, and not because he and your sister are making you feel like you really should. Hope that helped and good luck.
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If a person is on drugs then they will never really be off. He may be off of pot but he may be on something else. A drugee gets a second chance all their life by their family. Just tell Brent he doesn't deserve a second chance and that if he loved you so much he wouldn't have cheated on you. Usualy he'll probably slip up and say he's sorry for cheating on you. if that's the case then he's also a liar. Just ask your sister why she cares so much and how she knows he quit.
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Everyone will probably think - if you go back with him, you will make a mistake and get hurt again. Or if you dont then he will get hurt.
I never think that way though. what i will ask myself is "what do i feel like doing?". if you dont want to go back with him, don't. say f*** it and forget about it. if you do, and you still have feelings for him, go for it! life is a crazy random thing sometimes you have to take chances.
Make sure you find out exactly how detailed this cheating explanation was, ask the girl too, make sure you find out before you make your decision.
also think about whether or not you dont want to deal with a changed personality while he is doing pot. i say this because people who quit pot usually do it once in a while. now this isnt everyone, but usually it is the case. you MIGHT have to deal with another sudden "blurt out" if you ever go out with him.
take all these things into account and make your decision based on what YOU want.
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