Question Posted Saturday December 22 2007, 8:06 pm
Me and my bff have been friends for four years now and we also have a bff who weve known for three years. Well two of those years were fine but Bff 1's other bestfriends started picking on me and threatening to beat me up. When i told her she ignored me and said i probally deserved it but when i talked about them she got super pissed off and stopped talking to me for days. Then we graduated middle school and my bff 2 got put into foster care and then it got super worse with bff 1. She would invite our other bff over for a huge slumber party and not me even though our friend lives three hours away and i barely get to see her as it is. Then my friend started getting mean and rude, usually she was so picked on in middle school i thought she was gaining confidence in her new school that i don't go to. But she suddenly became bff's with three guys who used to beat our other best friend up and so when we all got to go to the mall two months ago and they were there she quickly ran over to hug and kiss them even though my other best friend was so hurt that she forgot what they did to her. Then i got into drama and our other friend did too and they came to one of my plays and then bff 1 said she couldn't make mine but she always goes out of her way to go to our other best friends and after learning about a play, the wizard of oz which is our other best friends fav, she took her without asking me to come. Then bff 1 said shed come to my new play and would be taking our other bff so i was so excited. But then two hours before show time i got a call from a tearful bff2 saying she couldn't go because bff 1 wanted to go shoping with her other bff's and wouldn't pick her up. Then the next day she promised to come and bring bff2 but found out her bf was doing a play and went to that instead. I was so pissed i quit gs and emailed her about all the crap she gave me and she said it was because bff2, blaming it on her and told me that bff 2 was lieiung about getting beaten up because her bff's wouldn't do that. AAnd then i ended up apologizing and she said we'd hang out over vacation. but now i don't know if i want to be her friend anymore after the way she treated me and my bff. What should i do?
Well, someone once told me that we'd be incredibly lucky if we had just one, single, true friend in life. Because I have to tell you that everyone changes and everyone has their own problems. Throughout life, you're going to encounter people that you feel like you can never live without only to find out that what you felt wasn't true. You and someone else may agree with everything and get along perfectly well, but then the both of you will gradually change in personality and likes and etc. and the friendship may become loose. What I'm trying to say is that keeping and maintaining a friendship is hard and that friends come and go.
To me, they are not even worth stressing over. Let them be friends or do whatever they want to. Be friends but certainly do go out and meet other people. Friends that upset friends and later blame it on someone else for their actions are not worth trying to keep. You will meet new and fun people out there and you'll end up wondering why you didn't meet them sooner or why you were getting frustrated over the two people that you don't need. Trust me, I've had so many friendship problems and in the end, that's what you come to unless you find that true friend. Lucky me, I think I've found one, but who knows, right?
orphans answered Sunday December 23 2007, 2:40 am: Wow that was confusing, but I think I understand. What I say is forget her. Just move on and find friends who will be there for you whenever, forever. She did a lot of crap to you, and pretty much ditched you more than once. Sounds like you need to find some other friends. I know how hard this must be to try to seperate yourself from a friend of 4 years [Trust me, I know] but you don't deserve that. I wouldn't suggest hanging out with her, she obviously needs to learn how to treat her true friends(you) more nicely, and until that happens, let her go. You guys probably had some good times, but not all things last, and I believe that everything happens for a reason, so get away from all of that drama.
Good luck, hope it all works out and that I helped! [ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question ]
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