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Beauty = Rape?
This is going to be a very odd question, hard to answer, and it technically has nothing to with "Spirituality" other than that I would appreciate some answers from a christian point of view. What excatly am I being taught here? All advice is welcome, though.
Well, I've always been low in confidence, but it's the past week that it's gotten extreme, I've literatly spent hours crying for beauty, praying for it, and envying those who have it. All my diary entries have been about it - and how life is without it. Today I woke up, and while looking at my reflection said "Please, make me feel beautyful today".
I went out on the town and was introduced to a french guy (a friend of a friend) who paused in the middle of a conversation at dinner, looked me in the eyes and randomly said "It's a blessing" it was weird, and I didnt know what he was talking about,, until he said "..you're eyes, you look like a princess" I said "thank you!that's so sweet" and that was it.
On my way home from the dinner.. Literally 30 seconds after I said bye to them, and stepped out of the restaurant.. an old-ish man comes up to me and said "please, miss, wait".. I thought he would ask for directions or something so I stopped. And he said "you have amazing eyes, so sweet, so pretty, where are you from?" (I've been dying for attention, to feel beautiful again.. to get stopped in the street like I did a few years ago.. so I was happy, and not creeped out at all) I said "aww thanks!" and gave a friendly smile. He asked me if I wanted to go get a drink somewhere, and that's when I got scared - "no thank you, I'm just 17 years old.." he pressured me a bit, so I started walking and he said "No, dont be scared, I promise I'm a good man, do you have pierced ears?" then he brought out earrings and almost forced me to accept them as a gift (they're still in my jacket) we talked for about 5 more minutes until I got really creeped out and made an excuse and ran. 2 minutes later I recieve a voicemail (I did not give this man my phone number!) BUT yet, it was from him. It had to had been. It was the conversation we had just had RECORDED somehow and sent to my phone, I ran as I cried, and now I got home just 20 minutes ago.
It was scary, might not sound like it, but I'm really really scared. I can not tell my parents, jut this morning they told me not to go out, and I said "you're so freaking scared of everything, how can you live life like that??" I will never be allowed out again. I already have to be home at 6 pm, and cant go out unless they've talked to the firned, know her parents and are assured there wont be any guys, if I tell them.. my very vague definiteion of a social life will be over.
So what is this? Someone's trying to tell me that its good that I'm not beautiful cause when I am creepy men come up to me? That I should appreciate not being pretty cause it might lead to rape someday? That I should never go out ever (this is the first time I've been out in forever, it was in broad day-light for gosh sakes!) why me? howcome others can be pretty and go out, and the once I do it.. this happens?
I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, can you please help me understand what's going on here? Is it all just coincedences??
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yes there are perverts out there, who knows that man might have been around while you where talking to your friends and may have over heard your number who knows, but don't live in fear ,but be aware of your surroundings,and as for beauty I bet you are and you just wont acknowledge it, what is it,is someone putting you down ,and if they are I hope you know that you are not suppose to listen to everything people say but I hope that's not the case,and please never let other people problems become your burdens ,and if this man is giving you problems foreal inform the police,and don't be so quick to stop and conversate with strangers,if they pay you a compliment walk and talk at the same time just say thanks and keep going ,and remember to keep the lord first and always pray (pease ,joy,and happiness belongs to you ,use it! and be strong and pray for more boldness ,and pray for your parents and ask the Lord to bless them to understand you more and open up a little cause I have a 17 year old and guess what I can be like that to .but i have lighten up because she just now learning to speakup for herself and not to be lead of people but make her own decisions,that was my concern at first that people could talk her into doing anything your parents love you they may not know how to explain that to you and if its not love , pray for it and don't settle for anything okay God Bless you baby.
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Well, maybe these were all just random, coincidental things that happened to you. Or maybe you're right... maybe someone IS trying to tell you something. But if they are, I think you're reading the message wrong. Because here's how I see it:
1) You prayed for beauty. Well, God isn't going to suddenly change the way you look. But what CAN be changed is the way you look at yourself. The truth is, no one is perfect; even runway models have certain features they aren't happy with. But dwelling on the things you can't change will only make you bitter and unhappy... and that will make you far more unattractive than any physical "flaws" will. If you can focus on your positive qualities, and learn to appreciate and concentrate on what IS beautiful about yourself, others will recognize and appreciate it as well. They'll see what you want them to see. So perhaps that's the message that you were being sent. Two random people commented on your beautiful eyes... and perhaps that was meant to "jump start" a new attitude about yourself, one in which you'll start appreciating and focusing on the beauty that God has given you.
2) You encountered a creepy situation. And you handled it well and got out of it safely. I think the message here is: The world can be a dangerous place, but you CAN handle it! From what you've said, you haven't had a lot of experience being out on your own. But it won't be long before you ARE on your own, without your parents to guide and protect you. What will you do? Stay inside and hide in fear? Or go out and face the world with confidence? I'm sure you'd rather do the latter. But to do that, you need the confidence to know that when you DO encounter a potentially dangerous situation, you'll be able to make the right decisions and keep yourself safe. And that's exactly what this situation provided: experience. So I think the message here is: You don't need to be fearful, but if you're cautious and smart, you'll be just fine!
I want to comment on one more thing. Beauty does NOT equal rape. Rapists are not driven by some uncontrollable lust for a beautiful woman. Rape is a violent crime that's driven by a sick need for power and dominance. When rapists are looking for a victim, they aren't looking for a gorgeous woman. They're looking for a woman who's weak, submissive or gullible; one who lacks confidence; one they can easily overpower. And of course, these are traits usually found in women who don't feel good about themselves. So in reality, a woman who feels good about herself and exudes confidence is LESS likely to be targeted as a rape victim. And that's another good reason to stop dwelling on your flaws and weaknesses and start focusing on your beauty and strengths!
I hope this helps some!
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first to let you know that your are not alone.I feel that way all the time.I know the wqorld is getting scary these days but thats no reason to hide inside forever.When i feel bad about myself i just start a conversationn with my boyfried he allways finds ways to make it better.If you hide inside youll never get a chance to find that person that will make you feel beautifull inside and out.Its such an amzing feeling.Beauty is not one certain look.Everyone is beautifull in there own ways.And im not trying to give you thoes old people sayings,im not really even that old.YOu dont need to be a size to and have no flaws to be beautifull because those people arent beautifull there fake.What im trying to sat is even though that man was creppy dosnt mean everyone is like that.
give it another chancce and let me no how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie
p.x if you evr need a friend my email is lttlbbyg143@aol.com
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i used to not feel confident either...untill this amazing guy told me that he likes me no matter what.
but i relized that i had to feel good about myself because if i say to myself that i think that i am ugly... then how do you think that God feels about that? He made all of us, so is that like saying that his artwork is no good?
once i heard that then i started believe that God loves me no matter what,
That was a very smart move of you saying no.
your parednts are just trying to protect you... just tell them that they can trust you.. that they have raised you so well that you can make smart desicions because of them teaching that to you.
i really hope that this helps
please rate
from, only in your dream
gender: f
age: 13
peace out ♥○•♦♥
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Sorry, but this must be said, that was very,very long. But I am scared for you. Even though you say your social life is over, don't think that way. Try to think from your parents point of view and see through their eyes. They are just trying to look out for your safety, no matter how what they do, unless they abuse you, then you need to tell someone about that. lol, but YOU, no one else, but you should tell your mom or someone about the situation.
God thinks you are beautiful, it doesn't matter anyone else's opinion. I have the very same problem, but you should just love yourself for the way you are. God won't change your looks, he only cares about your actions and that you love him.
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