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Is something wrong with me?
Now, I don't mean to sound like one of those whiny, overdramatic, angsty teenagers, but lately everything is well...sucky. It's my senior year of school and I'm having like noo fun. Well my best friend that I'm like with all the time got a new boyfriend, and well she is ALWAYS over his apartment, and when shes not around him, thats all she talks about. It's not that I feel left out, its just I envy her. I can tell they really love each other, and I just want what they have. I don't have even any guys lined up at all, and I guess its just taken a real affect on me. I'm always moody, gotten pretty close to the color black, and started listening to hardcore "emo" music. Not to mention, I haven't been eating at all lately. It's not on purpose, I just don't have any interest in doing anything anymore. I just never seem to be happy...
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What people don't tell you about depression is this: It's actually a rational sort of response.
Depression that gets treated and dealt with by professionals is the stuff that sticks around for months and years. What you are describing sounds like you are feeling poopy because things are pretty poopy!
That is okay. In fact, that only makes sense.
Do what you like and what makes you feel good, until what you like is starving yourself or self harm.
Being happy isn't just this thing that happens. People think they should just 'be' happy, and that is a crock of shit. Happiness is something we have to actively work on, something we have to look for and some times it is something that realistically just isn’t there.
Try to find something you can enjoy. Even if it's your own private movie night. Good food. Baking. A hobby, a class, or an assignment you can really sink your teeth into.
It's hard work to find happiness sometimes, but it isn't impossible unless you are mentally ill.
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If you envy what your friend has, then try and find the love which she has. Don't try and shut out what is happening because that will make things worse. Ask your her how she managed to find love and when she knew that she was in love. You might not even know it, but you could be in love as well, but it's just not apparent yet. Hang out with your friend and you could meet the man of your dreams.
But about the "emo" music, there's nothing wrong about it, it's just that things could turn out different to the way you wanted it to be, your attitude could not be helping with the fact as well. Don't feel sorry for yourself that nobody's come up to you yet; love takes time and when your time comes to love, then you shall know.
Good luck in the future
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Why don't you talk to your friend about all this? If she is talking about her boyfriend, just tell her you have something very important to discuss with her. Maybe she can do something to help you out of your funk. Maybe she or her boyfriend know a guy you may find of interest.
What are friends for, right?
ygs-29/f
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