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My boyfriend is secretive.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and things are really great, except when it comes to the computer. When we first moved in together, he had his own computer and I was waiting for mine to be mailed to me.. So I'd use his computer to get online, talk to my friends, play games, normal stuff. He has it set so he has his own profile, and I have mine. On his computer it's password protected. So a few days ago, my computer came in the mail.. and we're both using it because his is broken. I set up a profile for him and I have mine, password protected. Anyways, the whole problem is, he'll wait until I go to sleep, get online until 4am or so and the other night I had to walk by the computer room to go to the bathroom and he heard me coming and all I hear is "click click click" like 17 times really fast of the mouse. That bothers me, like what does he have to hide? And he deletes his internet browsing history every time he uses my computer? I don't really care if he's looking at porn or whatever, and he knows that, but it bothers me that he deletes his history. I just get the feeling that he's hiding something.
I just need to know how to approach him about it.
It's frustrating me.
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next time try to catch him doing it. like pretend youre sleeping and then if he gets up and goes to the computer then follow him a few minutes later quietly. then you can see what hes really doing. :] haha and if you dont wanna do that just approach him about it.
<33
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Approaching him honestly and openly with your annoyance and questions.
It wouldn't be right to accuse him outright of doing anything wrong, but you can tell him that his behavoir makes you nervous and concerned.
It sounds to me like you two might not have been living togeather too long, which means this is an important conversation about 'bounderies'. There are always things that are private. Things you don't really want to let anyone in on and that's okay.
But you need to be able to trust he isn't hiding something, and he needs to be able to trust that you wont go flying off the handle if you see something you don't like.
If you two can't come to a compromise over this that allows those two things to happen, you are heading down a bad road.
So be considerate and open about your fears and expect him to be the same. You don't need to know everything he is doing online, what is important is what he is afriad of you DOING if you find something on the computer? Tell him what your response would be to different sort of things, porn in all it's varieties... even cheating. At least then he knows where he stands.
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you can take it in to the computer store, and there is a way to check the deleted history. I'm not sure how much money it costs, but not too much. And, before you do this, if you catch him doing that, just ask him what are you doing? not like interrogating him or anything, just very casual like saying do you want something to eat?. But if that doesn't work, then do the deleting thing. Hope i helped! Don't forget to rate!
-alex :]
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hmmm thats mysterious. next time he's on the computer, just be like "what are you doing?" but don't say it like "OMG what are you doing?!?!" you know?? just say it real casual. so like "hey whats up? what are you doing?" If he seems nervous, just be like "are you sure? you seem different. just tell me, i won't be mad"
-volleyball2150
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