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did he assualt me ?
ok im 17 my boyfriend is almost 18. weve been together a year and 4 months and weve never had sex. he has a high sexual drive i guess, but were waiting.. well mainly me, and hes always respected that.. we are both virgins. theres been times when weve been at his house and ill fall asleep with him watchin tv or something, and he'll grind up against me. im a very deep sleeper so im sure hes not that worried about waking me up. i usually lay on my stomach because thats how i sleep, and he'll 'position' himself so itll feel good to him i guess. sometimes id really be awake and he wouldnt know it, other times he'd wake me up doing that. tonight, he started to do that again. after a little bit, he proceeded to get up, put lotion on my hand and work my hand around to give him a hand job and he was gettin off on it.. this whole time i was "asleep" but i was actually awake.. by this time i decided to see what he'd do because hes never done that before. if i started to squirm like i was "waking up", hed stop and kinda stroke my back or somethimg till i was back "asleep". afterwards he got on top of me.. im still on my stomach.. and he progressively pulled my pants and underwear down on the back so that he could rub up against my butt [he only pulled the back down, but his 'thing' was actually out of his pants]. he never actually went in.. id kill him.. but he kept pulling my pants down more and going lower and lower. eventually i "woke up", jumped up and yelled "what the h--- do you think youre doing???". he acted startled, just said "nothing!" and picked up the phone. i ran around got my purse and my keys and ran out the door, halfway cryin by now. he ran after me yellin "baby wait.. baby please!" and tryed to stop me but i told him not to touch me and left. i know he wouldnt rape me, hes not like that, but what could possibly be going through his mind? hes called me almost 15 times already in an hour's time and has left me voice mails begging me to call him, let him explain, but im ignoring his calls. supposedly hes somewhere, not going back home or anywhere till i talk to him. in one voice mail he says he thought i was awake.. wtf? i acted dead asleep. i wasnt going along with anything. i dont know what to do i feel so.. violated? i mean, did i do the right thing by running out? im not ready to talk to him, all ill do is yell and cuss him out.. but am i overreacting? hes never done anything remotely like this before. someone help me =[
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hes incredibly horny.
I'll be honest, when laying there with a girl you really like, its hard to resist. But a good guy does.
Talk to him about it. Make him know that its not kosher. Its up to you if you want to give him a second chance, but tell him straight that any girl will freak out to that, and if he wants to stay in a relationship he will respect boundaries.
::Edit::
Oh, before I forget, the other part of your question.
No, you are not overreacting. He very clearly violated boundaries and he knows he went too far with you. Initiating sexual contact when someone is alseep is only done when you are a sexually active couple where its perfectly within the comfort zone. I lived with a girlfriend and she was a heavy sleeper, I could usually actually manage sex before she woke up, and she liked waking up to that. But that was in a trusting relationship, and we'd been sexually active 24 months before moving in together.
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You are not over reacting.
You shouldn't have feigned being asleep. That was wrong of you. It was entrapment and it was an unfair lie to him. You should have told him firmly no.
If you mean no, never let them think maybe.
So you made a mistake, but what he did was MONSTEROUSLY WRONG AND ILLEGAL.
You feel violated because he violated you.
He sexually assaulted you. End the relationship. Today.
He tried to make you into a sexual object for his pleasure without your consent. He robbed you of your person-hood, ignored the person you really are and used your body.
Dump him and never speak to him again. Please.
Even if he did think you were awake, he blantantly ignore what you had told him before: That you weren't ready. That means he didn't respect you. That means he was willing to sleep with you the moment he got a "no, no... well, maybe..." He didn't respect your opinion, your beliefs, your right to choose, your comfort level or your right to say NO. Even if he never sexually assaults you again, his basic ability to completely deny you as human being and ignore your opinion is enough of a reason to dump him.
Dump him.
If you find this incident still lingering, and making you upset, talk to a trusted adult or counselor. Don't carry the memory of this one asshole of a little boy with you and let it ruin your happiness.
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first of all no you did not do the wrong thing by running out on him, if you felt uncomfortable you should leave. i woulden't call him back or be alone with him ever. you think you know him but answer me this what would he have done if you diden't stop him in time? i have been raped by some one i never thought would do something like that. my brother. it hurts so pleae don't set your self up for something like that to happen to you. follow your instints. he dont respect you like you thought because if he did he would have done that in the first pace. good luck! k.i.t
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:( I am sorry for your experience.My advice would be to tell a parent about it and to talk to him,and let him explain,but just in case,do it over the phone, but be cautious! You are not overreacting,because I know I would do the same.If he wants to get back together PLEASE say NO! Even if there is a reasonable explanation he might do it again or something worse.Plus you are too good for him!
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i think you did the right thing by leaving
nobody should EVER EVER make you feel uncomfortable or make you do anything you dont want to do
if i were you id break up with him. what he did was really wrong.
like you said, it wasnt exactly rape, but who knows what could happen next time? this might help you:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
xxtiffany
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