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Best friend/friend issues.
So, around about two months ago my best friend moved.
I still call her, sometimes. We keep in touch.
But I feel like I never see her.
She now lives with her dad, but she visits her mom sometimes.
And when she visits her mom, we usually get to hang out.
But the first time she visited her mom, I couldn't get in touch with her.
And she hasn't been able to visit since.
So I feel like I never get to see her. And now I almost never get to talk to her! Her phone number keeps changing, and she never checks her emails. I have no idea what to do. I don't want to lose my best friend.
And on the other part of this is that once my best friend moved, I started to hang out with some other friends. They can be okay sometimes, but I don't really feel like I'm "friends" with them. One of them, yes. But the rest, no. We always joke around, a lot. But I'm always the one being joked about.
And I do have a sense of humor. But honestly, hearing the same thing over and over again (making fun of me kind of jokes) gets on my nerves. =/ I just feel out of place when hanging out with them. But I mean, when you're hanging out with your friends, you shouldn't. So I have no idea what to do about this situation.
Can you guys please help?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
My friend moved away too, except it's been about oh, four years now. We usually stay in touch either through IM or text messaging because she has some of the same problems your friend has. Or you could get the address and write her letters.
About your friends that aren't really your friends (if that made any sense), I think you should talk to them and let them know that the jokes don't always have to be about you, they can be about somebody else or better yet, why don't they joke about themselves for awhile. I'll tell you what I'd do, NOT the best idea, but it would put them in their place. I'd think of some jokes about them and see how well they like it.
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This is a really tough situation huh?!
I had the same thing happen to me when I was 11. My parents divorced and I had to move over 30 minutes away to live with my dad.
It is so incredibly hard to hear this, but I guarantee it is true... You and your friend can and should remain friends. But it is HARD work. Any relationship that is worth while is hard. Thats a cardinal rule for life. You just need to be aggressive in trying to contact her. Do the telephone, cell phone texting, e-mail, etc. Do what you feel you need to do. Remember a few things though... 1. No matter how hard you try, there is always that chance that the two of you will slowly drift apart... and that is okay! Because as you drift apart from her, you will be drifting along with new friends and having a great time. It's okay to be sad about your best friend not being there anymore... but be open to new relationships as well. 2. It is very important to be open minded to WHY she may not always be available. The fact that her parents are divorced and she constantly has to go back and forth... her phone number is always changing??? etc. There are some issues here that your friend is having to deal with. She may find a time where she really NEEDS you because there are some things in her life she feels she can't handle.
Now as far as your new group of friends... If you are getting hurt by these innocent jokes where you are the butt of the jokes... it is not okay. It is good that you have a good sense of humor. As a matter of fact, that could help you here. Something that might work is if you find a time that you are alone with each of the girls individually, have a heart to heart. And have this heart to heart with each one separately. If you do it in a group, they might exchange "meaningful" looks with each other and not get the full scope of how much it really bothers you.
You are absolutely right... when you are hanging out with your friends you should not feel out of place. You may even find that having this heart to heart makes your relationship with the entire group even stronger and some really tight bonds might form!
I hope everything goes okay for you. Take care of your old best friend if she needs you. Sounds like she is in a rough situation. And have a great time with your new friends. You deserve it!!
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When a friend moves, it`s difficult for them to stay close, but it`s possible. Does she have IM? You could call her one day, make a screen name for her, & you guys can talk on there. That`s how I stay in touch with some of my friends.
On the long school breaks & over the summer, go visit her. Try & get together with her as much as possible.
Hah, it kinda annoys me after a while when people do that too. Try talking to your closest friend in the group about it. Or just laugh it off when they make a joke & take your mind off it. I doubt they mean it in a way trying to hurt your feelings, but try and talk to them about it.
Good luck!
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