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My boyfriend won't grow up!!
So ever since I was like 17 I've wanted to move out straight after high school and still go to college. I found a boyfriend and me and him were together my entire senior year of high school... and things were great between us! We had talked about moving out for a year and when the day came to sign the papers, he didn't want to because his mom said that she wouldn't approve. He listens to everything that she has to say and he is a year older than me. He doesn't speak his mind to his mom and we are stuck doing what she wants us to do... like get married at 23 and have kids at like 27.. I've had all these plans about getting married when I was 21 and having kids at 23.. and majoring in elementary education. I have a feeling that I'm pregnant and it seems like my boyfriend isn;t being mature about it. I have no idea what he would do if I was. It just seems like we have to plan our lives the way he wants to.. He wants to party and stuff right now and stay in school... and that's still an option because I have 15,000 in the bank just for college and I can't use it on anything else. What should I do? I love the kid to death and I really think that we are going to get married one day.. but I can't live with the fact that he wants to wait to grow up!!!
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Getting married before you finish college is a mistake. A huge one.
Everyone needs some of that craziness in their lives. Everyone needs to be on their own for a while. He needs what he needs. What you dont realize, is that by going and getting serious about life, you are stoppering something.
And, when you hit about 33, you are going to have a mid life crisis of sorts and want to do what he's doing it. Its a phase everyone has to go through at some point.
You should go to college. You should understand that his maturation process cant be made instant, and neither will yours be. And though I know this sounds terrible, you should consider an abortion.
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Being 18 and legally an adult doesn't make a person an adult. If this 'kid' can't grow up he is clearly not ready for the responsibility. I suggest very strongly that in future you are careful about taking any risks where you might get pregnent especually being as young as you are and with a guy who can't even change his underwear without his parents approval.
More to the point I think it's time you had a serious chat with him about what you're both going to do if you are pregnant. I always find it unfair if someone's pregnant she has to go through it all by herself because the guy just wasn't ready. If he wasn't ready he should have thought about it beforehand and not afterwards when the deed was already done - a clear sign of how stupid guys can be.
Talk to him and explain you both need to sort these things out together and that you need to know from HIM what you're both going to do becuase if you do turn out to be pregnant the last thing you need is someone who will just bury his head in the sand and let his mom decide everything.
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Well it seems like it's a pretty tough situation you've got going there. I'm going to speak through a tiny bit of expierience except there's a major difference, it was my best friend so that of course rules out the "we need to plan our lives out" thing.
Well, it's very frustrating I know. You want to deal with mature situations but they won't sit down and listen. The best thing you need to do is get his attention and have a big talk with him. I know you're saying that's hard but maybe get his mom to help you really get his attention. Maybe one day when you're both sitting down bring the topic up in normal conversation, therefore he won't feel as pressured and won't be able to change the topic easily.
However, if after that talk he still acts the way he does and annoys and frustrates you and doesn't want what you want in life, maybe it's time to let go. I know this isn't an answer you want to hear but it's give and take in relationships and if he has different views on settling down you really can't force your views onto him.
Please don't feel pressured about your life turning out the way it's planned though. Life never does, and just go with the flow and you'll find it less stressing and you'll end up looking back and having less regrets.
Hope everything goes well!
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