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Quiet guy is driving me nuts!
i'm 16/f... this guy at school I've had my eye on for a while is in my gym class and the only thing I know is that he's good at any activity except in the social area. Don't get me wrong I mean he's really sweet, but whenever someone has a conversation with him it's so one-sided it's like the person is talking to themselves. Ok, how do I approach him without feeling like I'll say something stupid and actually get pass this wall of his?
Thanks,
CrushOnMysteriousGuy
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He sounds a LOT like how my boyfriend used to be in High School. My boyfriend is the strong silent type... in fact, his fraternity nickname is "The Wall" because he doesn't say much to people he hardly knows.
Get this guy to know you. Talk to him, it doesn't have to be much, just a simple "hey, how are you" can do the trick. But keep it real... don't let it seem fake or intrusive. And be consistent with it, so he'll expect a pattern.
Then when he's warmed up to you... if he hasn't already... talk about other things, like school, etc. Once you're on a "friend" level with him, kick it up a notch... invite him to hang out or whatever.
It will take a while, but shy guys are definitely worth it. I've been with my boyfriend since 2003 and he is just AMAZING!! Just remember that he's probably just as nervous as you are. ;)
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lol,I understand your situation perfectly since I used to like a girl in the same manner as well. Well basically ,you can't get into the 'zone' of his at first,this being because he has set up a wall before him,he could be 3 things which i will explain,sorry but my advices are pretty long.....bear with me.
shy:he is shy around girls/guys/people and might love to talk but is just shy to open up to
reserved:this kinda guy just loves to be alone,he loves serenity and queit and hates big parties or loud people screaming in his ear
introverted: basically,doesn't have much to say or has a lot to say but just doesn't feel like saying it
some might argue that all these 3 are the same but i assure you they are different
so the way to get past any 3 of these is to first SMILE,yes,wierd isn't it how a smile can work? just smile at him,and i don't mean one big fish happy smile which will make you look wierd.Just smile sweetly showing a bit of teeth on some days and smile wide on other days. This one works, cause first-he gets curious,no matter how dead he may seem,all humans are curious creatures and he will be curious and curiousity leads to interest and therefore interested.
okay next, don't introduce yourself tooo fast,you want him to be interested first,the guy wants to play hard to get,we'll give him hard to get.HAH!
give about 1 or 2 weeks,if he smiles back or looks at you differently,then you change your strategy....
introduce yourself,your name first of course and maybe talk about gym since you both are in and ask him open ended questions.
never ever ask him close ended like: do you like cake,he answers..no
ask him"so why do you join gym?"
he;ll probably shrug,lol
in any case,it's a better bet than close ended
next talk to his friends and find out his interest,yeah,this is a MAJOR factor,talk to a guy about something he likes and he's hooked,find out his ideal girl,his sports,his music,his family,his movies,his books,everything,kinda stalkerish but hey....he is a tough cookie,it's not like he's makin it easy for you anyways so you gotta do what you gotta do
then talk to him about his interst,and hopefully he will break out.remember to always TAKE IT SLOW,this case is a slow creature so play according to this timezone
anyways,i guess that's bout it,the rest it just inviting him to lunch or a snack slowly,talking to him after and before gym,inviting him to movies, and of course keep on asking stuff related to his life.
of course it will help if you dress well and smell good too,personality is important but looks are a strong aspect too
also maybe offer to help him with his assignments or anything like that ,he would like it and to be a little coy,probably work out right in front of him so he can admire you,lol,he probably didin't notice you before or whatever,anyways
best of luck,ciao
p.s.:make sure he's not gay
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Just say whatever comes to your head; it's probably very interesting. Becides, even if he finds what you have to say boring, he'll probably be impressed just by the fact that you tried. Don't give up!
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