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Am I a needy girlfriend?!
A couple of weeks ago I noticed a change in my bf's behavior... he started acting like my affection was bothering him, and it felt like he was avoiding me. When we were together he was silent or he would talk about stupid unimportant things, as if we couldn't have a meaningful conversation anymore. He was so distant, but every time I asked him what was wrong and why he was acting differently, he would go mad and say that I was creating problems when there were none. So I broke up with him, and it was a hard decision. I thought he lost interest in me and I didn't want to be a burden. But ever since he's been telling me that his feelings for me haven't changed. Actually that's what he says, but he's still acting weird. And when I told him that my decision was final, he didn't even seem to be mad or desperate or anything like that, he just said he didn't understand why and that he hoped I change my mind.
I don't know what happened between us... it was so sudden! I'm afraid that I pushed him away, because I wanted to be with him all the time, and that maybe he wanted a time out... but if he loved me as much as I loved him, wouldn't he want to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him?!
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I think that would bother any girl, so don't let him think you're overreacting or being too needy. And I agree with the other answers, it probably had nothing at all to do with you. He sounds like a guy that doesn't show emotion very well, like my boyfriend. He isn't very affectionite and when he says he loves me, it doesnt feel like he means it, because he just has that stoned-face look and its so hard to get any reaction out of him at all. Hes a very laid back person and thats his biggest quality. Alot of guys are like that and it's possible that your boyfriend is too. I think if hes wanting you back, he obviously didn't lose interest in you, he may just be an unaffectionate person. This doesn't mean that you made a mistake in calling it quits, because maybe you need a guy that is affectionate, makes you happy and shows interest in you. If a man doesnt treat a women like she's special she isnt going to feel special and therefore she'll be unhappy.
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Don't be so quick to assume you were the problem.
Maybe he was having issues of his own that had nothing to do with you?
Maybe that is why he became so distant, not wanting you to be involved in it?
There are many possible reasons that don't involve it being your fault.
If he has such great feelings for you, then he needs to tell you what is going on. If he doesn't want to do that, then sadly the best choice is to just move on.
ygs-29/f
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First of all, how long were you dating before he started acting differently? Relationships don't stay the way they were in the beginning. I mean, are your parents still together? Well, my parents definitely aren't as affectionate as my boyfriend and I are. I know that it's just what happens in the beginning when everything is new and exciting. Eventually, that calms down and it becomes more mellow. It doesn't mean he cares any less for you. I really don't think you should have broke up with him as quickly as you made it seem. Now, if you genuinely told him it was bothering you and made you feel like you were in his way all the time and he still didn't seem to care, that's another story.
The fact that he's saying that his feelings haven't changed for you says it all. He still likes you and wants to be with you. If you want a guy to be depressed and desperate to be with you when you break up with him, you've got a big reality check coming. He did the mature thing in saying he understood and hoped you change your mind. It doesn't mean he's not hurt, either. You can't expect guys to cry over not being with you anymore. That's just a self centered and selfish way to act.
Like I said, couples don't stay lovey dovey forever. Sometimes you need time away from that person. I know how you feel. If it were up to me, I'd be with my boyfriend 24/7, but I also know that being apart just makes it so much better when we see each other after a day or two of not being with each other. When you're with him all the time, there's no missing you, there's no anticipation of seeing you again.
I'd give him another chance, but it's up to you. If you still love him and think he's worth it, go for it. Just try to understand where he's coming from before snapping again.
Oh, and just a side note: guys generally don't like when girls ask "what's wrong?" a lot. It annoys them and gives off the impression that you're insecure in yourself and your relationship with him.
Good luck! :)
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