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what to do and not to do in a relationship
Ok, this is a question about guys. WHAT would make a guy think that it was okay to tell a girl he's currently dating who he would go out with if he wasn't with her? my boyfriend told me that about a week ago. it's been driving me nuts anytime i think about it, even worse if i see them together. i want to talk to him about it, but i'm afraid if i do, then it will end our relationship. we've been together five months. this is the first time i've really been this upset with him. i'm not sure if this is worth ending a relationship over. but all i keep thinking about is that if he's already considering other girls for a relationship, then how can we keep it together?
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At best, he's an insensitive dick - not a bad guy, just slightly socially retarded. At worst, he's an insensitive dick that wants to sow some more wild oats or whatever it is guys like to call it when they screw around.
However, I wouldn't dwell on it unless he says this sort of thing often, particularly about the same girl. ESPECIALLY if you notice any flirty/touchy-feely behavior between them. Consider how they act around each other, how often he brings her up in conversations where she is not present. If you think about it rationally and see nothing that should bother you other than an offhand remark, let the matter slide. Forgive and forget. If it does happen again, tell him it makes you uncomfortable and how would he feel if you said something like that about another guy he knows.
In short, assess the situation but don't be paranoid.
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Did he just say this out of the blue, or did you ask him?
If you asked him, then you learned a valuable lesson- don't ask questions to which you don't really want to know the answer.
Either way, it really doesn't matter. He says that is IF he wasn't dating you. Meaning, no matter what he thinks of her, he likes you BETTER.
The best way to keep it together is to talk to him about your feelings. If you can't do that, then your relationship is a dud anyhow.
ygs-29/f
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I think that you should talk to him about it since it is bothering you, but think about it for a minute first before you get angry or upset with him for what he is, not just what he said. Everybody always has a plan B. Don't you? Who would you want to date if you weren't dating your boyfriend? There is someone. Or a few someones. Pretending that there isn't is silly and immature. It's alright for him to think like that, just like it's okay for you to think about things like that sometimes. It's good that he's being honest and open with you, however, there is a point where a line needs to be drawn with openness. He shouldn't have said that to you. Plain and simple. He's allowed to think it and it's fine if he does, but there was no reason to say it. All it did was hurt you. He should have kept that one to himself. He may have felt compelled to tell you though. It probably made him feel a little confused or guilty that he was thinking that and that keeping it from you was like cheating. That's why you should talk to him about it. Let him know that it's okay if he wants to think about things like that, but sometimes some things can cause more trouble than they're worth. He should think about how saying those kids of things to you will make you feel. It'll make you feel jealous and insecure about the relationship. He needs to start putting himself in your shoes before letting things out like that. He has to learn how to think to himself, what if she said that to me? Letting him know how you feel and getting it all out will help you. He's not a bad guy, he's just inexperienced with relationships and isn't sure how to handle himself in one yet. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you two can get this sorted out.
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