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An Emotional Bind =(
My name is Angela, im 20 years old. I have a 10 month old son. Im in an emotional bind. I have no idea what to do. Im engaged to an amazing man. I love him so much. The problem, im emotionally attached to someone else. This is the second time this has happened. Ive known my fiance for 6 months. Ive known the other guy for 4 years. I dont know what to do. Should I leave my current fiance for the other guy?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
As has been said before me, don't rush things.
You need to ask yourself some tough questions.
Why are you emotionally attached to this other
guy? Is he your babies father by chance?
Regardless of that, if he is the one wouldn't
you be together right now? Does he only make
you feel like there is a future for the two of
you when you get really close to another guy?
(you said it has happened before).
Is this emotional attachment just yours, or is it shared? Don't mess up your future waiting for someone who has no intention of taking it beyond what you have now.
If you really, really love the guy you are engaged
to, then you have to work on that relationship.
It may mean putting distance between yourself and the 4 year man. If he is the babies father and that is impossible to do, then the less contact the better, Preferably with someone else around.
If he is the babies father, you should know that there will always be emotional baggage attached.
It doesn't mean you have to give up all other men who come along. Just because it is there doesn't mean it would make a good basis for a long term relationship. Its just history you have to learn to live with. :)
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Take a break and take time to figure out your life. You've got a freaking kid. Every decision you make will affect him as well, so right now it's probably better to not be in a relationship.
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You've known him for six months? You aren't ready to get married.
Should you leave your fiance. Well, that really isn't a call anyone here should make, but you definately should take some time and relook at what you are doing. It's pretty obvious you have confusions and doubts. Who wouldn't after only six months?
Don't rush into anything. Wiegh your options. Think about what you want. Decisions do not need to be made tommorrow. Stop pushing yourself.
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if your asking if you should leave your fiance on an amatuer advice site like this, (no offence guys) then yes.
because if you have to resort to this because you dont know, then your not ready.
dont leave him, just call off the wedding a bit and reconsider your options for a while.
if youre afraid that hell get mad and leave you if you do that, then hes not the right guy for you.
so either way, you find out something about yourself, or him.
what doesnt break you up can only make you stronger. =]
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Okay heres the thing. This guy your marrying is an amazing man and if your really willing to try really hard to make it work them i'm sure it will. But if your feelings are way more attached to this other guy and you know that it will never change I really feel that you should leave your fiance only if you know that the feeling is mutual. In the end it could cause less heart ache for everyone. you end up with a man you truly love and don't live and you don't make an amazing guy and yourself miserable by living an empty relationship for several years in which he has feelings for you that can't be reciprocated. Either way it won't be easy but you'll definetly make it through it. You'll really want to think for a while and weigh your pro's and cons. I wish you the best of help and truly hope that this helped you out even a little:)
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