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What do I do when I'm unappreciated?
I'm not going to go into detail, but there's this guy who really seems to think that I'm going to wait around forever for him. Newsflash: I'm not. Basically, he seems to think that I'm just going to be his loyal princess, or whatever, but he seems to get alarmed when it looks like I'm distancing myself from him.
I wanted to get the message across to him without being overly rude, so today, when I passed him (I usually strike up a conversation FIRST) I said absolutely nothing.
I saw him do a double take, almost like he was waiting for me to say something, and when I didn't, he was like "What the fuck?"
I've tried this before, and the next day, he actually took a different route to class to avoid me.
Do you think this will help him appreciate me? I know you're probably going to say "Why don't you talk it out with him?" Let's just say we aren't at that point yet.
Any other suggestions are helpful.
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When you get so annoyed that you start playing games (and the silent treatment can certainly be a 'game' we play when went are trying to get someone to behave differently) then you ARE at the point where you either need to talk to out, or at very least DECIDE what you will and will not do.
So, what can YOU do about this. You can choose not to speak to him. You could choose to try and get over him. You could choose to ignore him. You could choose to follow him around like a puppy dog.
Do I think any of that will help HIM change? Fuck, I dinno. Probably not. This isn't really about him. This is about you. Your bounderies. Your power. Your choice.
Trust me, you will feel WAY better when you take charge of yourself and stop worrying so much about his response to your actions. You can't MAKE him do anything. You can only choose what you are willing to do.
Are you willing to talk to him? Are you willing to wait? If not, don't.
Just don't cause bullshit babe. Don't try to munipluate him, it wont get you anymore. You can't change is mind, or make him treat ya better. Only he can decide to do that.
Just draw your line in the sand, and be confident in your choices. Whatever he does, he does.
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So "What the fuck" basically is like saying how dare you not start the conversation. I really think that he's not worth your time. If he's going to avoid you and not try a different approach then that tells you what type of guy he is. hope this helped:)
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If you walk right by him it gives the message that you are purposefully giving the silent treatment, maybe because you are angry, or... actually angry is probably the main thing it conveys. If you want to give the message that you have in some way moved on, the best way would probably be to give off the friendly but too busy for him vibe. Instead of giving the message that he has done something to you, it will make you more desirable because you'll just look like a more involved, desired by the public person. Maybe next time you see him in the halls say hi, and be friendly (unless you actually are mad at him, then you could nod your head. No need to be overly upset looking), but at the same time acknowledge the people around you. If they are in your classes say hi to them too, or become super involved with after school stuff if you would usually see him then.
I'm not sure it was the alarmed by the you distancing yourself thing... it may have been more alarmed at the sudden silent treatment thing. I'm not sure if he thinks of you in a friend way or potential admiree (if he sees you as a friend, well, what if one of your friends gave you the silent treatment? for no apparent reason?). But the main point is to try to be friendly in general because you may get farther with people liking you in life in general that way. Distance yourself in a way that isn't maybe so obvious, and then when he sees you smiling and laughing with a group of friends in the hall, that's when he'll realize what he's missing.
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If you're on your way to class, a simple "Hi" or "Hello" is good enough. You can talk to him other times. Make it seem that you like his company, but not every minute of the day. You don't have to ignore him, and he may expect you to talk to him first because he's nervous to talk to you first. I would be a bit upset too if a friend of mine decided not to say hello passing one day. My assumption is that he thought that you were angry at him BECAUSE you refused to speak to him after your regular conversations in the hall. You don't owe him anything more than a simple hi at those times. That should get your message across. Good Luck.
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