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Advice on losing long time friend
I have a situation that I really don't know how to deal with. I feel like just blowing my friend off, but I know in the long run that may not be the best solution. I am a married guy with a one year old boy. It seems that since we had kids, our friends don't want to be friends anymore (but perhaps that's not true). Perhaps, we are still working on balancing our family and social life. There's one particular guy friend of mine and we've been pals for a long time. He's married (without kids, by choice). We've been friends long before I even met my wife. In the past, he has been very supportive of my family and kid, but over the past few months, it's been a struggle. He will never call unless I call him first. When I do call, he's very friendly. When I ask him if he wants to get together (alone or with our wives), he's always busy. I am tired of having to initiate the friendship all the time. When I try to bring this up to him, he's a master at avoiding the issue. I am almost at the point where I want to tell him that he's too busy for me and perhaps we shouldn't be friends anymore. However, that may be too impulsive of me. Recently, I sent him and his wife an invitation to our son's first birthday (with an RSVP). He never responded. Now, I'm left to call him and ask him if they are coming. I really don't want to call, but I am trying to be mature. I really don't think he's jealous of my kid. In some sort of way, I think he feels that I am more devoted to my son than I am to our friendship, so he's decided to back off. However, I still would like a friend to hang out with. Nonetheless, I am really getting pissed that he's not making any real effort. I'd hate to lose a friend I have had for so long, but it's irritating. I hate to be rash. Also, on a somewhat different line, I am not very good at making friends so I hate to lose my existing friends. Thoughts?
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its not that they dont want to be your friend but maybe to them since you had your baby it might seen like to that person that your blowing them off.eventhough your friend isnt making an effort maybeyour not making a big one either and nobody wants to lose a friend but the best thing you can do is talk to your friend and slove everything
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I think that you should be completely straight with him. Be like "Im sorry that i keep bringing this up but we need to talk about this. you keep avoiding me. whats the problem?" And see if hes straight forward with you. If he sounds like hes going to aviod you then slowly bakc away and stop trying so hard. and only call him for his birthday or his anniversary or important dates and see how he reacts to that.
AskLisa824 =]
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