|
I love you....
About two months ago I told my boyfriend that I loved him, I 100% meant it and I (apparently wrongly) thought it was a good moment to say so (one of those "charged" moments lolz.) He didn't say anything for about 3 minutes and then said that he didn't want to say it back until he meant it. He didn't say it in a harsh way or anything, but he was very clear what he meant. I'm not going to pretend I wasn't upset, and I was wayyyy embarrassed, but I accepted it cos I thought it was probably better him saying that than him lying. I haven't spoken to him about it since, but ever since then he's been very definitely acting weird... not incredibly, but stuff like he doesn't really compliment me anymore or tells me he misses me and stuff like that. At first I thought I'd try and initiate him saying it, but that wasn't really working and I was really paranoid about looking clingy so basically it has all ended up with me distancing myself from him as well, because of my paranoia. I don't like being like this because regardless of how he feels I do love him, and he's moving away to college in a different state soon and the general idea before was that we were going to stay together... I don't know if that will work if we're still like this, but I really want to make it work in general. Please help! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The same thing happened to me, except that I was in the opposite position, a guy that i was seeing told me he loved me, it wasn't in the most romantic of places, I believe we were outside of a gas station, but I didn't love him, so I didn't say anything. And to be honest I did feel weird about it, I can't remember how long we were seeing each other until he said it, but maybe it was under a month. He never said it again after that. And I began to think, what if he just thinks he loves me...and then what was worse I started to fall in love with him, and again he never said he loved me, so I was panicked, thinking "Oh god what if i tell him I love him, but he doesn't love me back anymore?" Maybe by not telling him I loved him, made him stop loving me, or made him feel differently about me, like I was never going to love him. It took a long time for me to tell him I was in love with him, and I did it with a lump in my throat. He didn't say anything at first and I asked "Do you still love me?" It was the best moment of my life, but I was also fearful. Fearful that I had missed the chance to say it. So if i were to give advice I'd say to maybe try to initiate how you feel about him. One night/day when you're having a great time, tell him something like "I love being with you." And see how he responds.
]
Avoiding the elephant in the room is just going to distance you. So I would talk to him and say "I still mean what I said the other day, but I just want you to know that I'm definitely willing to wait for you to mean it too and I appreciate that you didn't lie to me." You seem like you're pretty open with eachother, considering he was comfortable telling you that he didn't mean it yet, and that you've talked a little about what happens when he goes to college. I hope things get back to normal for you two..
]
More Questions: |