|
Confused about dead end relationship.
I've answered alot of questions on love and relationships but for once, i don't know what to do.
I've been with this guy for a little over 9 months. We've known each other for a year and that whole time we've had our fights, our moments but always been inlove.
Now, it's changed. What happened was one weekend i wasn't able to see him or talk to him on the phone or computer at all because of my circumstances. After the weekend, i was able to see him again but something was different. I kept asking him what was wrong and he kept saying nothing but it was like he didn't care for me anymore. I asked him if he still loved me and he said he didn't know. It broke my heart.
This continued for about a week and i was bracing myself for the breakup. Then, i decided i couldn't take him anymore and told him it was over but i still wanted to stay friends. He called me the next day crying telling me he couldn't live without me and he loved me still and he was sorry and i was still soo inlove with him that i took him back (we have been through alot of stuff before so i thought it was just one of those days).
Anyways, after about 2 days he was still the same but it was like he was trying to care about me. I asked him what happened and he told me that he missed flirting and being single that he had met some girls the weekend i wasn't able to see him and that he was flirting with them and just wanted to be able to be single again. That totally tore my heart apart. Then he continued that he didn't get that same warm feeling inside that he used to get when he saw me or talked to me.
He said he wanted to be inlove with me again so we gave it a shot. After a week we started to go back to normal but everytime i thought about how he had felt before i could feel my heart breaking over and over again.
Now, he is sort of half how he used to me. He is like he used to be but he always goes out with his guy friends alot and tells me when a girl tries hitting on him and constantly asking me if im jealous like he WANTS me to get jealous but it just makes me soooo sad.
I know the obvious thing to do here is to break up because then i can heal and get better and he won't be hurting anymore but i just love him to much. I tell people all the time it will hurt but they will get better as i have had my heart broken before but this time it's different.
We WERE soul mates. We were different in our ways but we just seemed soo perfect for each other and i had never met anyone like him before.
I know im still young and if we do break up i'll find someone else and probably end up dating alot of guys before i find "the one" but i don't want anyone else.. i want him.
I really do not want to dump him but i have to. I need help. it's never ever been like this before i dont know if its normal for couples to go through this stage and if they get out of it or not im just so confused and hurt and betrayed.
I dont want people to say "u should dump him" or "u shouldnt" because i want to make that decision on my own. I need advice on how to deal if we do breakup and how other people have gotten over ex's they thought they were inlove with and how i can still be friends with him. And if any advice on people who have been through this and its worked out. Thankyou.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, one thing you HAVE to be is strong.Being in this situation is probaly very difficult for you, But you know and as well as everyone else knows you have to move on.Although, you thought this was your love, your soulmate, your everything.As we all know, there is an end to everything.We make mistakes that you learn from.You go through things that only make you stronger.Bad things happen to good people.Love can be your friend , then again can be your worst enemy.Obviously, alot of people go through heartbreak and bad situations.You just have to deal with it.Keep going, don't burden yourself.As you know, you WILL find someone else and you won't be fighting against fate and love.Your not suppose to put yourself through this.I do know how hard it is to let go though.It's really hard.It takes time though.You have to keep yourself occupied and have fun.Guys don't revovle around you.If a guy comes along then take that chance.Don't let past relationships bring you down.Well hope everything turns out okayy , which I'm sure it is.And hope I helped. :]
]
i kno almost exactly what your going through!! I really do, im going through like the same exact thing. Except my boyfreind and i have been going out for almost a year (9-21-06)..and i dont know how old your are but im almost 15. Anyways i get what you mean... my boyfriend was the "playa" type. And it has been SO hard to trust him.
And i know since your boyfriend told you about those girls and that weekend,well your probably mad and hurt (my boyfriend did it to me too) (in my relationship we have trust issues.) you might not trust him fully because of what he told you (though you should be glad that he did tell you and not some one else.)
But it would be WAY better for it not to have happened at all. And know that there are a lot of whores/sluts/whatever you want to call them, who will want him too, maybe not for the same reasons but if you love him enough you will fight for him, and at least try to trust him completely, if you dont already. He will be tempted but if he loves you he wont even look at them,and if he does hopefully he wont do anything more.
If it comes to the point people tell you things,ex. "...he touched me..." or something, dont always believe them!!! If you do hear anything like that make sure you talk to HIM first (if you talk to some one else first it can possably get a lot worse) I'd sugguest Telling the person who told you what happened that you will not believe anything until you get proof. Try to get the person who got touched or whatever to write a note to your b/f & get them to try to get your b/f to say something about it. The best way to handle it is to be mature about it, and not to confirm he is guilty unitl ,well, proven guilty.
And i know you said you dont want people to say "you should dump him" and stuff like that. And your right i know what that is like (most people dont really get it and stuff) I totally hate when people do it. and you should deff. make that decision yourself, you have the power to change your future.
You and your b/f need to talk about it and i know no matter how much it might hurt it something you probably need to do. you both have to be completely honest, talk about maybe taking a break or spending more time together, tell him how you feel and try to get him to tell you how he feels...Make it a open table-both players have their cards up to show each other.(tell him how all of it makes you feel.)
I think it is normal for any one to have this kind of stage for couples, but i dont think everyone goes through it.
And try to always brace yourself for if the moment might come and it could all over. For me it was like being in hell, sorry for the term but its how i feel.
(And so far my relationship is working out with him,it gets hard but i think he is worth it)
Thats all i can really say... Sorry this is soooo long! i really hope you the best, i kno how hard it can be. Please!!!, tell me how things work out!!!
if you have any ?'s im here.
Best of luck!! **Michelle
]
Ok omg my heart goes out to you! This story has it's ups and its downs but ya know everyone has their soul mate. And alot of times we think we know who they are only to get dissapointed. It sounds like your trying really hard to make this work and try and not like make him but WANT him to feel the same way he used to feel about you. It might work for a little while but I dont think that its going to work for forever. Maybe this is just a mountian that yall both have to climb together. And maybe after yall take a break for a while then you can get back together with him if it was meant to be. But dont try to force love and fate. I know it will be hard if you do decide to break up with him but like you said you WILL heal and yes, it might take a while and you might not want to be happy and giddy for sometime but I think that it will eventually get better even though it might not seem like it. I know I probly didn't help that much and I am just rambling on. But I hope you got a little peice of advice from me. Hope everything turns out how it is supposed to. I wish you both best of luck!
]
More Questions: |