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Promised too much now want to get out of organization
I am afraid I have promised too much to an organization that I am a part of. I am a 28 year old, female, married, graduate student. Last year as an undergraduate student I became chapter president of an organization at my university that has been nationally recognized for years. Since my university is mostly made of commuter students it is very difficult to get students involved so I did most of the work to complete the requirements and application for our chapter to receive a national award in the spring. We received the second highest award given but there has been a lot of pressure from both the professor who is our chapter advisor and the Dean of the College of Business to get the Top Ten Chapter Award. At about this time I was considering an offer to come back for my MBA with a graduate assistant position, which would pay my full tuition. When I mentioned it to the advisor I told him that if I came back I would make sure we got the Top Ten award this year. He immediately got very excited. He and his wife, who is also a professor, made arrangements for me and the vice-president of the chapter to attend the national professional and student conference over the summer. They called in several favors to help get the funding and handled most of the paperwork necessary for the trip. Then when my graduate assistant position for the summer semester fell through they found me another position when I wouldn’t have been able to find it on my own. Through out this time I was very optimistic about the future and told them several times that I would make sure we got the Top Ten award.
So I started my MBA over the summer and went to the conference. When I returned from the conference I had missed an entire week of classes and was so behind in one class that I had to withdraw from it. (Prolonging my MBA studies an additional semester.) I’ve since started the graduate assistant position that was originally offered to me by another professor. As the semester will be starting on Monday, I have started working on some things to get the chapter prepared to work toward the award. However now I am very concerned that if I continue as president of the organization or even step-down to a lower position, it will require so much of my time that my studies will be affected and I will be very stressed. During the spring semester the organization required at least 20 hours a week of my time.
I am a very determined person and know that if I remain in the president’s position I will achieve the goal of being named a Top Ten Chapter. But I feel like if I do this it will affect my grades, I will be overscheduled and stressed, and all the stress will affect my relationship with my husband. If I didn’t feel like I owed it to the advisor and the Dean to continue as president of the chapter and get the award, I would step-down. I know that if I mention this to the advisor he will insist that I remain in the position and that he is sure I can handle it. I don’t want to just ‘handle it.’ Between my course load and working 20 hours a week as a graduate assistant I just don’t think I want to keep this stress in my life.
Do you think I should leave the organization? (If I stay in a lower position I am sure that I will end up with just as much responsibility as I have now but without the title to go with it.)
How should I address this with the advisor? How do I do so without appearing ungrateful?
Should I really be concerned about how this may affect other professors’ or the Dean’s perception of me?
Would future employers see me stepping-down as a sign of weakness?
Any advice would help.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
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This is a pretty serious problem you have ended up in. I have been debating whether or not to offer an opinion since I am not all that familiar with American higher education.
I read the answer below, and that offers a perspective different from that which I have acquired. I have on multiple occasions been asked to bring my grades transcripts to job interviews. My masters diploma, (in Economics and Business Administration) comes together with a list of my courses and grades. Of course if your system works differently, then this may not be too relevant for you.
If the perspective offered below is the correct one (i.e. if grades tend not to matter as much later compared to other activities), then perhaps that is also the best advice. Just make sure they really dont matter, and that empoyers will not ask for them.
I know that in my case I would have taken one of two routes. My first choice would have been to postpone my graduation further, by adding yet another semester and spreading the courses out. That way I end up paying for my mistake, while at the same time saving my grade point average. Alternatively, if that was not an option, I would have come clean and explained in all honesty the mistake I have made.
If you step down the perception people have of you will change. I think thats unavoidable no matter how well you explain things. You will not seem as perfect as you have done so far, and people will see that you have limitations. Whether it goes much further than this depends a lot on your Dean and the other professors. That being said, it is also very human to make mistakes. There has to be some room for that, even in university.
Usually I will be the first person to say that one must stick to ones promises. However, there are times when circumstances change in an unforeseeable way. What I am saying is that you should not sacrifice too much because of a few overly optimistic promises. It is after all your future you are dealing with here.
I wish you luck in resolving this matter. Hopefully it won't cause you too many difficulties.
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Well I see a couple of things here, and I am sure you have already told yourself this, but let's look at them again.
First of all, you made a committment. A committment that carries a lot of expectations. It will disspoint a lot of people if you do not go through with it. BEcause of all the prestige that it will bring to the college. As well as funding and recognition. I think that they college has sort of "paid you in advance" for your work when you explained that they called in several favors in order for you to get the funding and that position you mentioned.
I also see that you say you are very determined and that is good. Here is how I see it.
Your grades may indeed suffer, but you will still graduate. Your resume, (if that is what you want to call it) will only show your degree and where you earned it from. Not your grades. But your resume will also show the positions you held and your accomplishments. Presdient of the chapter, and what you achieved for the college while in that position will carry more weight on your resume. Employers really value accomplishments like that, and if you did it while working on your MBA, all the better. BEcause in the real work a day world, you will be asked to take on more than is fair, and yes, your boss will say, I am sure that you can handle it. And you will.
I think you can do this. Sure I know you are concerned and you should be. I have been in the same position. I am 54 and back in college, and work full time and raise two kids, etc, etc, It is hard, but like you I am determined. YOu have accomplished so much. I should think that your husband would be supportive. It will only bring you more earning power in the future and it is only for 13 weeks.
I hope that you do decide to go through with it. What I have found in the past, when I over extended myself, is to keep my committments, but to learn from my mistakes, and not over extend myself again. I think you will have regrets if you don't follow through on your committment. Because to me you seem like that kind of person.
I hope this helped you to sort things out. Whatever your decision, good luck to you.
Michele
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