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I am worried about a CRUSH going on for too long
19/male
It all started when I was away from home at college. One of my friends in my dorm invited me and some other guys to go with her and her friend bowling. Her friend and i got to talking and I decided I really liked her. I guess I had one of those "she's the ONE" moment. Well that's when I got nervous and scared because I have never felt that deep for anyone before. The next day I awkwardly told my friend that I liked her friend and didn't know what to do so she invited her over to hangout with us. I got nervous and didn't talk to her much that night. My friend even gave me her phone number to ask her on date but I didn't have the guts. That's about when I gave up and that was about 10 months ago and yet I still think about her a lot and still believe "she's the one." I have not seen or talked to her since. I am worried that it has gone on too long and it is too creipy and wrong to still have feelings for her. I have been in a relationship with another girl thinking it would help me rid of these feelings but didn't work and had to break up.
That's why I came here, for serious advise to help me get over this crush or maybe it isn't that creepy or maybe I should confront her with my feelings, I don't know. but what ever the advise is I need it badly, so please HELP ME.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You need to learn to control your own emotions better. Its not easy, trust me.
When I was a freshman, I started hanging out with this girl. We became best friends. I fell for her. I tried to date her. We dont speak anymore. She just wasnt interested in me (except, apparently for a brief period of time when I was giving her space because I thought she was getting over a guy she dated)
It screwed me up inside. Im sure shes nice, but she isnt worth this.
And... well Ill put it to you like this.
You are a guy. Guys are not like girls. Women's emotions are stronger, harder to control, and often times more irrational. Guys are hard wired to be a bit more emotionally in control. Its a big part of why we kind of still rule the world.
Take a deep breath. Push it to the back of your mind. Sure, you'll still think about her from time to time. But eventually, thats all it will be. She crops up into your head once every 3 months and you have to just push it back and move on.
Guy to guy, you can get over her. And you need to. Because a relationship with her at this point wont work. You've spent the last 10 months building her up into a person she probably isnt, she isnt "the one" for you. Shes just someone you felt a strongly intense attraction to. Dealing with intense attraction becomes easier.
Hell, Im in a long term committed relationship. I still occasionally get those flashes of intense attraction. In point of fact, there is a friend of mine to whom I am intensely attracted. She is everything I would want in a woman if I werent already in a relationship with someone who is everything I want in a woman.
I deal with it. I dont show it. I push it down and I am her friend. There is not and will never be anything beyond that. I love her as a friend and that is absolutely as far as it will ever get. And to be honest, its pretty easy to deal with. Every once in a while I have to sit down alone and tell myself not to be a child about it.
Only time and experience can make it easier, but once you've learned how to control and handle yourself a little better, to take a deep breath and distnace yourself, it becomes second nature.
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hey, i think you should somehow find a way to tell her, it's better late than never ..right?? if you don't think you can ask her out face to face then try texting her, or get your friend to ask her and put in a nice word about you.
you've got nothing to be worried about,just take the chance, get to know her a little better, you won't know how you exactly feel unless you take a chance and see if you have things in common and whether it will work out or not.
it is hard to try forget about someone you might have strong feelings for even though you've never really spent time or got to know her. but try asking her or talk to her, if you don't do this now you might spend another 10 months wondering what may have happend. but good luck, hope i've helped and hope it works out well, but you're going to know if you don't make a move now..tkcr.
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Ha. You think 10 months is long. Try 7 years.
Anyway...
You should really call her up and ask how she's doing. Ask her if she wants to go out and catch up. She obviously had a serious impact on you, kiddo. I think it's because you didn't know her as well as you thought you did, and that made her more mysterious and someone you would want to get to know better. She may not be the person you think she is at the end, so be careful.
But, call her up:]
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