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What should I do?
i'm a very sexual person and it seems like my boyfriend hasn't been able to keep up lately. i'm alrite with it. i understand that he is older than me and that he works alot. i have no problem handling it myself. the problem is, he has a problem with me masturbating. we've discussed it and he seems pretty stubborn about it. i don't know what i should do. should i tell him that it's normal and i'm going to do it regardless, should i just do it and not tell him, or should i try to tough it out and deal with a dwindling sex life?
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It's a double standard issue here. You ought to ask him whether he masturbates when you aren't around. If he says he does or tries to evade the question you have him on the ropes. Why should it be okay for him and not you in the relationship?
He obviously feels offended or hurt thinking that he's not doing enough to please you so you have resorted to masturbation on your own. It's a pride and ego issue with him and some guys as well.
I would keep doing what pleases you and not tell him more about it. You can bet he's doing the same thing. If you feel you need to talk to him about it and use the idea of him doing it and asking you not to as a ridiculous double standard and explain it has nothing to do with his performance in bed.
If there's something wrong with your sex life this issue may be one of many contributing to it. If you are married or in a long term relationship relationship counselling may help. Just a thought.
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He probably feels threatened by you being able to "handle it yourself." But he'll probably never admit it. Have you asked him specifically why he doesn't like you doing it? And ok, even if he doesn't like it, it's your body, and who says you have to tell him anyway?
You can't tell me that he doesn't do it. Even guys who have sex constantly still have their "special me time." :)
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Well, some people are just uncomfortable talking about that, or imagining their gf/bf doing it. There's probably nothing you can say to change his feelings about it. I'd just keep doing it but don't talk to him about it. While it's good to be open about things in a relationship, there are some things that can remain private without harming the relationship.
An example: my friend's boyfriend gets really grossed out if she mentions anything to do with her period. He freaks out if he sees a tampon in her purse, and he doesn't even want to hear about her having cramps or anything. At first that really bothered her... she felt that she should be able to talk to him about anything. But she realized that that was just a quirk of his that she wouldn't be able to change, and she didn't want to risk upsetting him over something that really didn't matter that much. So now she's just careful about not talking about that stuff around him.
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You should really talk to him about how you feel. If he still isn't ok with it than do it anyway it's not like your cheating.
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