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Which group should my time on?
(14/F)
Hello, I was hoping you could help me out on this problem; it may be a little long, sorry.
I don’t know how to start, I mean, this is about my guy friends. I don’t know which ones I should spend my time with, and which I should not. Let me start from the beginning. I have these guy friends which I have known for about 3 years. They were with me since elementary school, throughout middle school. Three out of the five of them, I still talk to throughout this summer. We are all going to different high schools, just to let you know. Okay, so I have realised which out of the five, are my true friends and which weren’t. So that was settled, I would spend my time with those three and my girl friends. Then, they are the guys from middle school I met this April, grade 8 year. They have always been in my school, but I had never talked to them before. They are three guys. We had our laughs and jokes and everything through the year and up to Graduation. At Graduation, we took many pictures and had a great time. After that, the only time we talk is on msn. Okay, that was some background information, and here is the difficult part. The three guys I mentioned earlier (The one I went to elementary school with), they actually call me up and talk to me and make plans. So I know that they care. The three guys that I met in April are a different story. Seems like I always have to start a conversion with them, they never start one with me. One of those three guys, lets call him C, he actually starts a conversation SOMETIMES, and talks properly. We met up ONCE. The other guy, lets call him N, he NEVER starts a conversation with me on msn, I always have to start it, and when he talks, it seems like he doesn’t want to talk to me. The last one, lets call him B, he only talks to me if I start a conversation with him, or if it is in the night and no one else is online. The other three guys (the ones I went to elementary school with) they would always start a conversation with me and wouldn’t hesitate. They are always there for me. See, those three guys, (B, N, C), they are close with my some of my other girl friends, but it doesn’t seem like that with me. I mean, one of my best friends, she always on msn and therefore her and N got closer. B and my other friend are probably going to start dating soon, and C is always busy with his own stuff. I use to have a crush on B and N, and I know I am just jealous that they are all so close and I am not. I have read and I know, that I should pay attention to the people who care about me, not the others one. But there is always that side of me that wants to talk to them all day. I feel horrible, because I feel like I am giving much more importance to the ones who do not care rather then ones who do. I just really don't know, if I should try and “save” the friendship that we have or should I not because we are all going to different high schools anyways. I should not make them a priority in my life when I am just an option in there’s. How can I stop thinking about them and start focusing on the ones who really do care for me? I really do try, but something just keeps pulling me back to them. I guess i just want to keep my image in their minds.
Thank you so much, I appreciate you taking the time to read this and helping me out.
I have asked another columnist this question, because you both, i believe, give the best advice.
Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If the boys you've just met this April have not been true, then you already know the answer to your question. I think you've known it all along, but you were scared of it.
Honestly, the boys from elementary school have ALWAYS been there. Chances are, they always will be. They've stuck around, so you know they're true.
However, the things you stated about these other guys just proves that you shouldn't stay friends. I think you should try to save the friendship BUT it's a two way effort. Each of you have to be willing. If they put no effort in, then you already know that you shouldn't bother.
Do what makes you happy. If they don't bother to try, then drop the friendships with them & stay true to your elementary crew. Good luck, and I hope this helped in some way possible.
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