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boyfriend.. and girls
14/f
okay, my boyfriend calls me his everything.. and that he doesn't want to loose me and stuff like that.. and me & him worked out EVERYTHiNG so theres basically nothing wrong in the relationship. but one of the things that we worked out still bothers me.. cause yannoe it was dealing with this girl .. who used to be my friend cause she talked behind my back and stuff.. and was also his last girlfriend. and it had been almost a year since they've broken up. and hes kinda stupid in relationships cause they stopped talking because she was talking behind my back to him, so he didn't want to be friends with her anymore. and like 2 months later she talked to him first, and now they're friends again. like.. bestfriends. so thats why i can't trust them together yannoe? cause she told him that she doesn't hate me and she stopped talking about me a long time ago. but EVERYBODY knows she hates me... she even left some clues that are obvious that says she hates me.. and she talked about me to him, but he was slow enough not to know. and he says "she wouldn't lie to me.. cause we're good friends." and he even talks about our relationship problems with her.. but the reason why i have changed, and i don't want her to get to know me anymore. and then when we talked it out... he told me that he'll change and he'll come to me now, and talk it out with me for now on. and that he loves me, and that his ex and him are bestfriends.. but she could basically be his mother (not the first time i heard that), and that i'm not competing with her or anything. >.<" i'm not sure if that's a lie... and yannoe we worked it out.. but i still can't trust him with girls, yannoe how people are.. you don't like girls who talk to your boyfriend. and then today his away message said "phone with lyna" aka... this girl he liked at the same time when he liked me a month before we went out. the time when he liked her.. he liked ME first, and he js met the woman. and then later he said he wasn't confused anymore, and because of that. i was confused and he asked me if i was all his. and i said "i don't know.." and he said "i don't know?? wtf?! i knew this would come sooner or later, thats why i have a backup plan buddy." and a minute later she was on his top 8. and the next day he said "i forgive you baby." but i was like "OHHH HELL NO MOTHER FUCKER" but we worked that out that time, and 3 months later is where we are now. he started talking to HER first, and i think she called him and they were talking on the phone for a few min. and later his away message said "again... -.- talking to lyna. lmao" and a few days before that.. this girl named judy, shes my friend.. but we don't really talk that much so i deleted her off my friends list. and he messaged her asking if he saw her at north park mall. and she said "sorry nope, wrong person... nice to meet you though." and etc. most of the problems we have... is mainly caused by him not me.. but the ones that are caused by me, was what he got mad at little things. cause he says "i love you alot, thats why i get sensitive on little things." i know.. he isn't the best boyfriend, and i could do better. but right now.. i want him. people tells me i should break up with him and i can find someone else better. i know that. but my heart tells me that i wanna be with him right now.. i'm willing to go through things.. thick or thin i wanna be with him. my friends are scared for me.. and so is my older sister, they said it happened to them before. but, i don't know what to do.. i don't know if they're really js friends or what??? he tells me that he's fully mine and i have his heart.. but it feels like he's not completely mine.. most of him is mine. but part of his heart isn't with me... >.<" help me please.....
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I was in a situation similar to yours recently, and I know it isn't easy.
But really honestly, I do think you need to consider everything here, the pros and cons about him if you want to. You shouldn't stick around if you think you're going to get hurt, and if other people that see you in the situation and see him first hand are saying that you should break up, then they're saying it to help you.
If you believe that you can do better, which you could, then you should do it! Don't limit yourself to what you have at the moment, and don't settle for anything less than what makes you completely 100% happy all of the time. A boyfriend that isn't completely yours, really isn't a very good boyfriend. And you should get what you deserve, and that is one that you can call your own for sure
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hey
look, i agree with the person under me with that if you really TRULY believe that you guys are meant to be together, then stay with him. but it would be a risk, you see. because what if lyna & your boyfriend have something going on? what if one day he breaks up with you because of her?
i, honestly, think that he does like you truly right now & doesn't realize the position you are in is very awkward not only with the relationship with your BOYFRiEND, but for the relationship you [partially] have with lyna. i mean c'mon now, is your boyfriend compLETELY oblivious to the fact that you don't like him talking about your relationship ship problems with a girl that said horribly mean things about you behind your back? that's insane. but guys are strange creatures.
look, have you tried talking to him? just alone. have you ever sat him down & told him, "look, baby, i know that you told me i'm your everything, & i know i like you a lot. but it's REALLY burdening me that you & lyna are best friends. i'm not going to force you guys to part or anything JUST because i'm your girlfriend & you have 'to do everything i say' cause you don't. you make your choices, but i'm just informing you that the excessively close friendship you have with lyna is making this relationship a little awkward for me." just flat out tell him the truth. don't don't don't say, "STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH LYNA!" he will think you are the dominant, demanding, well, bitch, but you're not like that, i know. so my suggestion would be to type out EXACTLY what you want to say on like microsoft word or something, modify it & partially memorize it. because, if you just email it to him / IM it to him, it can EASILY get around to lyna. so just meet him at a cafe or at your house one day, & just talk to him about it.
a good relationship has open communication, girl.
also, hun, why don't we step back & take a moment to look in his shoes? he loves this beautiful girl and is going out with her, and is best friends with his ex-girlfriend. his girlfriend & his best friend are at odds, & it's hard for him too. just don't say anything to make HIS awkwardness more, well, awkward.
she probably became best friends with him because she still likes him. she probably wants to know EVERYTHING that's going on in his life. - keep your friends close & your enemies closer, is the saying that she is following.
if he gets mad at you / doesn't listen, i wouldn't bother talking to him about it again. cause i mean maybe he's thinking that you want to take control of everything including who he is friends with. you HAVE to make it clear that that's NOT your goal. you just want to sort out the problems in the relationship. -- i'd break up with him if he's not willing to listen to your side of the story.
if there is something unclear in my answer, please tell me in the feedback.
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Well ok first of all I am sorry but this is going to be kind of long. Ok well first of all you have to listen to your heart, and if your heart is telling you to be with him then stay with him, no matter what your friends or family says. Also maybe he has more girls that are friends than guys that are friends. You just have to learn to accept that. Part of a relationship is being honest with each other, and if he told you that he is all yours, then you have to trust him. Although I do agree that him becoming best friends with your ex friend (even though she talks about you all the time) was a little weird, but even the less you should still trust him. He is your boyfriend and he seems like he really loves you alot. He is all the time telling you that he loves you, and I mean since you and him have been through so much together I think that you and him really have something that alot of people want. You and him have such a relationship where you and him can go9 to each other about anything, and you and lucky enough to have that. So I think that you should just trust that he is all yours and just believe him. But another thing. About him going to him friend for advice isnt wrong. I mean he has a close friend who he can tell anything to. I dont think you should pressure him into coming to you. Just go up to him and be like "look I understand you have a friend who you can tell anything to but I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk, I am here for you." That always works. That way he is not pressured into talking to you about it, and he knows you are always there for him.
I hope I helped:)
Good Luck
-MCRxoLoVeR
P.S sorry its so long :(
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