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guys answer
15 f
ok so like my ex is a total jerk and i jsut want to find someone better out there. so guys help! is there guys who arent jerks. these days it seems that guys only like me for my looks and think im hot or whatever and that jsut gets me so mad! like i realllllllyyyyyy want a real relationship but guys are jsut so immature these days and it just kills me! like evrytime they say something i always think its a lie1 like i dont believe anything any guy tells me anymore because of the bad reputation ive had dating guys. i really hate the fact that i cant find a really nice guy anymore. so if ur a guy and ur really sweet help me out and tell me something so i can get soem hope. that there are some sweet guys out there! thanks alot!
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Why do chicks dig jerks?
Copyright © 1996 Drew Mcpherson
The human condition promotes learning through trial and error; it is a fatiguing and often frustrating means of education. Women are excellent teachers of the bitter lesson that being a nice guy does not get a man laid. An "average" guy (who is often the one most capable of love and trust) is routinely brushed off as a "loser", and passed over for an abusive jerk who screeches up in a Porsche, scores, and disappears. So in a woman's mind, if a man is nice, he's weak. The nice guy wanders through life in a state of psychic castration, his heart scarred by the talons of female avarice and flawed psychology. He is a poor fool who has listened too literally to the women who lie that what they want from men is adoration and understanding. He has not suffered enough trial and error to lay bare the clandestine agendas of the female gender. So the nice guy has to settle for the vicarious company of flirting with a photo in a magazine delivered in a plain brown wrapper. But what of the "bad boy" phenomenon? Every man knows, or has seen in action, that the more he abuses women, the more successful he will be in attracting them; and the nicer he is, the more likely he will wind up as a "friend". But most men are socialized to cultivate harmony, not discord, and so they refuse to participate in such pathology. Most men are nice guys, who have no interest in acting like jerks to women. Logic would suggest that a woman would want to avoid being brutalized, so why then does she so lustfully climb up on the back of a Harley, instead of, as usual, wait for a limo to appear? The answer has to be unraveled from the tangled mess of feminine psychology. What a woman really wants is a rich bastard who turns out in the end to be a nice guy-he is the storybook hero of her novels and soap operas. But she will settle-for the short term, at least-for a poor thug who can offer her excitement. In her muddled vision of the world, she equates abusive behavior with earning power, because she assumes that television and the movies actually mirror reality, so that successful men are always conniving, ruthless, and underhanded. Bad boys are untamed and reckless and charged with sexuality. They are a "challenge" (meaning that they don't instantly fall prey to her Pussy Power). Flexing their Neanderthal biceps they are apt to drag her off to the nearest cave, and she can feel-for once-powerless in their grip, a rape fantasy come to life. A woman's hormone-driven "logic" will equate excitement with money, at least until she tires of eating at taco joints. She glories in the sensation of raw adventure-it is the same thrill which ripples through her when a rich boyfriend pampers her and indulges her every whim. For as long as she dallies with the bad boy-and it will be brief because his budget is in his pants-she can afford to let herself be wild, to experience unfettered humanity, to freely express her sexuality as nature intended. For a few racing heartbeats she will cease to be a whore and become a human being. And when the fling is over, her "morality" has not been compromised in any way-she can reconstruct her delusional self-image by accusing the bad boy of abusing her.
The average woman is a spoiled child, a selfish and arrogant bundle of desires, raised to be a rapacious taker from men. By the age of 5 or 6 a little girl has learned to scramble up onto Daddy's lap and to manipulate him with flowing tears or a sly look or a downturned face. He responds by taking care of her every need. Daddy is only nobly trying to insulate his little girl from what he knows to be a hard world, but unfortunately he's green-lighting her future as an abuser of men. She has already begun to grasp the raw power of her femininity-by acting "female" she can get anything she wants from a man. For some reason these tactics don't seem to work very well on Mommy, so she understands that her power draws its energy from the opposite gender. By the time her breasts begin to swell and her figure rounds into soft curves, she's discovered exactly how this power works. She is well aware of the effect she has on the boys around her, how much they seem to lust after her ripening body. The more they want her, the more she realizes the value of her commodity. She exults in her new-found strength, sensing its awesome potential, and even chuckles haughtily to herself at the boys who ogle her when she wiggles by. She understands that she is in control-this is something she can use to her advantage. It is the birth of an attitude which will ruin normal relationships with men for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Mom and Church, witnessing the verge of her womanhood, begin to instruct her to withhold sex, sermonizing that her body is a "gift" which she must save to give to "someone special". But it's too late. She's already learned that it's not a gift, but stock in trade-boys are waiting in line to bring her presents and compete for her attention. She really doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, why they are so intent on "getting into her pants". She has already assimilated the knowledge that her body is a tool, to be used for gain, not pleasure. Her mother continually warns her that "nice girls don't", and the more she holds out, the bigger the pile of presents grows. She doesn't realize that "nice girls don't" is just a euphemism for dishonest prostitution; that as she flirts and sticks out her breasts and wears sexually provocative clothing she is exchanging the promise of sex for gifts (money). And Mom is frantic to make sure that she remains a "good girl" (dishonest whore), so she teaches her that if a boy really likes you, he'll: take you out (spend money on you); date you exclusively (he's willing to let you train him, and he won't be wasting the resources he could be giving to you on other girls); and not demand sex in return (play the game by your rules, so that you can extort as much money as possible from him without obligation before surrendering your "gift", if you do at all). Mom is teaching her that for women, love is power; for men, it is enslavement. The greater a man's sexual needs, the more obedient he will be forced to become. If she manages her "gift" astutely, the payoff will be a lifetime of ease without her ever having to lift a finger.
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well im 16 and i'm one of those guys who doesn't go out with girls just because of the way they look, and one of the things that i look for is personality.
But the one thing you might want to do is don't associate yourself with just the stuck-up preps or goths, or whatever group you hang out with, be one of those people who hangs out with everyone, and you'll easily find the guys who don't just ask girls out because of the way they look.
There are plenty of guys out there who just look for personality, you just need to get to know some of the guys before you go out with them, and i assure you that you'll have much better relationships, and just remember to be patient.
good luck
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Well.. since Igotamonopoly basically said that I would answer this question, I guess I HAVE to.
I myself am a 15 year old guy, 16 in November, and I would actually consider myself a non-jerky guy. In relationships, I look for personality more so than looks. I'm actually being VERY honest here. I know plenty of guys like me. They know that in the end- why would you want to be in a relationship with someone JUST because they're "hot? What would the relationship be based on? NOTHING, that's what! That's why I don't go for girls just because they are pretty or whatever. And I'm sorry that you've had to go through guys like this.
Let these guys say what they will.. but you don't have to go out with or date any of them unless you want to. Just be patient and you'll find a guy like me. They ARE out there, you just have to be watchful.
Feel better.. and don't let those guys ruin your outlook on relationships! The really nice one's will start to appear as you grow older. Right now, the majority of guys our age are immature jerks that have no sense of right from wrong when it comes to girls. Let the nice guys come to you. They will.. honestly.
Does that help? I hope I lived up to Igotamonopoly's expectations of me.
--Jack
(15/m)
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16/Male
Of coure there is guys that are sweet. But your at an age where most guys are more concerned about sex.
If you want guys not concerned about your looks, look for a guy thats not so good looking and has a good personality.
You just have to look harder, they're all over!
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There are a lot of guys out there that don't date firls for sex and that are genuinely amazing. I pinky promise. All of my guy friends are that way; I don't associate with people who think that way.
Like, today for example, a friend and I were walking through the city, and, I kid you not, a total of 10 guys either whistled or stared like they wanted sex. We didn't even look back as we walked by. I guess it's just who you associate with and how you carry yourself.
I'm also 15, and at our age, most guys just aren't mature.
Buttt, the wait is almost over. Generally, as guys get older, they maure a little.
By the way, that is why a lot of women date older men.
He'll probably get to this question eventually, but CuxMiBeckNow7 will probably give you an amazing answer. :]
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Although I'm not a guy, I can promise you that there are sweeties out there. I mean some guys are just horny and out there to find sex, but I reassure you that there are more guys that aren't like that at all.
My number one guy friend of all times is probably Giz. We shared so many secrets & I promise you that I'm your 24/7 emotional roller coster ride...yet Giz would stay up with me until 4AM at times just to make sure I went to bed with a smile on my face and he never once used me to have sex and what not. And there's Stephen who's a really awesome friend & he's so insightful on things. And there's Charles who's there for me & is philosophical at times. And Anthony is like the MOST innocent guy you'll ever meet. They are the few guys out of the many that are sweet, nice, and not out for sex.
Don't give up hope. There are really nice guys out there and don't give up hope b/c I'm the biggest pessimist and having me say that there is hope for you to meet sweet guys is like a miraculous thing =)
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i just would like to say, good for you!!. good for you that you want better then some asshole!.. and yes sweetie, there are wonderful guys out there!. if your dating guys your age, then go for maybe 17, not to old, but its a study fact, that girls mature faster then guys. so try for an older guy that wants a real relationship. dont get me wrong, there still will be assholes that are older, but try to find that guy that calls you everynight, or talks to you all the time on the computer. you never know, he might be right in front of your eyes!!!<33
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