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It's hard getting emotional support from my "mom" when I'm fairly detached from her, especially when I don't have siblings, and live with 5 other middle age+, single woman. I'm not trying to be sexist, but women are different from men, in many aspects, and their attitudes are quite different. So it's refreshing to get advice from an anonymous source. So far, my motivation has just been that theres only 2 more years left then I can make my own decisions. I don't want to grow up, but I think it's time for me to mature a bit more and take more initiative and self-discipline... It's hard though, she just doesn't leave me alone, and she thinks all my morales and beliefs are some adolescent joke. Shes more of a mom than a friend :(. I'm having many problems with her. Shes a very emotional person; to say the least. She cries over the smallest arguement. For exaple: last week I told her that I was going to skate from my uncles to my friends house, because I couldn't get a ride. The next day I followed through, and she forgot... we got in a huge arguement over something so small and she threatned to give up legal guardianship. Prior to this I was at my uncles house for a month and half, and my mom wouldn't let me come home. I come home finally, and I'm met with this bullshit. The past week shes been trying to make it up by saying she loves me more, and shes bought me a $500 drum set. The sad thing is that I don't care anymore. Shes cried so much it doesn't have any effect on me. I don't want her to give me more materialistic items, I want her to improve her attitude toward me, not just cover up her issues with me with her money. Shes always working and I hardly ever do anything with her anymore. She acts like I have no respect for her, but the reality is that I don't go over the edge BECAUSE of my respect for her.
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WEll Kyle, you hand in there and maybe some day, when she accepts you as an adult, you can finally have a more "normal" relationship with her. It is too bad that she is so emotional. I don't know which of your parents is her sibling, but the problems that caused your parent to abuse drugs, and your aunt to be over emotional and obssessive, could stem from THEIR family of origin. You know, how THEY were raised. It is true, when you are 18, you are a legal adult and you will be making your own decisions. But it is hard out there to get by. I left home and 18, and never went back. I have supported myself my whole life and now myself and my two boys. I never got help from anyone, not even their father. I had half of a college education, (now I am working on the other half) but I was able to earn a decent living so myself and the boys were never on welfare. I hope you are learning some skills, or planning on college. You can't pay for rent and utililities and phone and computer internet, and a car all on a job at McDonalds. Many community colleges offer courses that run 2 years or less. EMT, or Criminal Justice, para legal, court reporting, all things that pay well. And as an adult on your own, you will be eligible for federal financial aid. But don't get in trouble, or get arrested for anything, because then you are not eligible for the free financial aid. Also many employers do drug testing today, so it is good that you don't partake.....
Sure it's no fun being "good" but grow up you'll have to do. And having control over your own life, and doing it right is a real ego booster. You'll feel great about yourself. It's pathetic to see older adults who still act like irresponsible teens. And it gets them no where.
Keep your eye on the prize, your independence and freedom and your right to self-determination.
Good luck and don't hesitate to write, even with specific questions if you have some
Michele
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