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Big mess!!!
Ok, so I have been going out with a boy for a year, and we haven't had sex yet, because we are waiting until we are married. so my ex boyfriend, who I have known for 3 years, come over to my house and we hang out. We smoke pot with my sister, and blahblahblah. Then we had sex. The next day, I called my boyfriend and told him this, but then I start adding stuff like, I didn't want to, which actually, I didn't. And I told him to stop like 4 times, which I did, but he didn't. Then I quickly added, he was huge, and about as big as you, and he's freakin strong. My boyfriend is like...really tall. I'm about 5"6 and he's like 8 inches taller than me. And so my boyfriend is like, isn't that rape? And I'm like yea...ew. And so we start talking, and then I kept talking about it. I guess it was on my mind. Lol. And I'm like, I tried to call you but he grabbed the phone from me and blah blah blah.
And so I tell my friend about it and she's like, that's rape. And he's such a loser and whatever. And so then on Friday, I go to my dads band practice thing, it happens every Friday, and while I'm there, apparently John and Mia came over and smoked some pot with my sister. And Mia tells John about what I said and stuff. So I called John yesterday, and I'm like hey whats up and he's like, I'm mad at you, Mia said that you told her I raped you blah blah blah. And so I'm all like no I didn't. And I start convincing him that I didn't and that Mia is the one that is being a backstabber. So now he believes me, and I don't really care about him, because my boyfriend told me not to hang around him. ANd I really love my boyfriend, and I don't want to hurt him anymore, I already lied to him, I don't want to anymore. I just want to tell him the truth, but I don't know what to say. Which is what my question is. But I want to make sure he knows that I love him, because I really do. I need ALOT of answers. And if your going to be rude and tell me I'm a tramp. I suggest you don't.
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Tell him the truth. It may be hard, but if you love him, then you will do it. Also, stupid people that are commenting below. SHE didn't say that she was raped. It says her friend and her boyfriend did. Stop being stupid. She didn't lie about it. Write down what you want to say to him, then leave a message on his phone, or mail it to him, or give it to him.
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If it wasn't rape then you shouldn't have told people that, even if you din't want your boyfrind to know the truth. And the truth is you cheated on him, even if you don't want to admit to yourself. Your friend Mia isn't being a backstabber, you did tell her and your boyfriend that John raped you, then you turned around and lied to John him also and told him you didn't. You should tell your boyfriend the whole truth, and hope to god he forgives you. Tell him you love him and although you screwed up really bad you still want to be with him. It might be a while before he is able to trust you again, if he does forgive you.
::Jasmine::
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Okay well put it this way...What if he did this to you? Then you found out he was lying, would you trust him anymore? That's what relationships are about, trusting the other person. So how can you have a relationship with a guy you claim you love when you lied to him? Sorry to sound harsh but you really just need to start telling him the truth, which is where you're right because it's not fair to the relationship between you both. If you tell him the truth and it doesn't work out, at least you can live the rest of your life saying "I told him the truth and I'm not a liar" you should just say to him that you made a really big mistake and smoked then got high and wasn't thinking straight and that you'll never make that mistake again. Write him a little "sorry" card to make it up to him and ask him what you should do to make it up to him.
good luck :]
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wow. well you DID lie about a rape... do you think it was a rape or are you ok with it like you told john? you have to figure that out first. if it was... you probably should stop smoking and having sex with him, like your boyfriend said. if it wasn't, stop telling people it was. you're giving him a bad name. so your boyfriend & you are waiting for marriage but you had sex with some guy you've known for a while.... no matter how you put it, you cheated on your boyfriend & tried to cover it up saying it was rape. that's a lie. i would just tell him the whole truth & see what happens. you'll probably end up breaking up which is probably the best thing to do now. <3
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uhm, well.
you know what you did.
i want you to think what if he did it.
i wouldn't even be able to look at my girlfriend if she did that to me, under the influece or not.
that's as nice as i can be about it.
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