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my best friend's mom.
I have 2 best friends. Basically we all hang out together, but now that it's summer we all have separate things going on. So my friend, who i'll call P, has a very paranoid and overprotective mom, who i don't understand one bit. she let her go on a plane trip to a different state for a band trip, but won't let her go to the mall. the other night it was about 7:45 maybe 8:00 and we wanted to go see a movie but her mom said it was too late, but after she was gonna sleep over my house. so instead of a movie we wanted to practically walk up my street to get ice cream, so my friend HAD to call her mom to let her know so of course her mom said no b/c it was too late and was gonna be dark and she didn't want her walking home in the dark. so not only does she limit what she can do, but my other best friend and i. we're 15, and she'll be 15 in august. it's not like we're stupid girls who drink, do drugs/smoke, we're smart. we wouldnt leave each other in the middle of the road or something. her mom is so paranoid and my friend never opposes her mom. she's just like okay mom, instead of mom its not even dark out yet nothing is going to happen! if my mom was like that i'd be soo arguing her. should i talk to my friend about this and what should i do?? thanksss so much.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You should encourage your friend to have a talk with her mom about some of these rules. Maybe if she explains that her moms strict curfews are restricting what you guys can do, she will loosen up a little bit.
However, I'm sure that she is just as upset about it as you are. She probably realizes that her mom's rules are affecting the group. Putting too much pressure on her or getting mad over it will only make her feel worse and it won't do much in the way of building your friendship.
You can always try to reason with her mom, but there is a good chance that that won't do much. If not, then you might have to work around these rules. Plan your day out in advance and give her mom your game plan so that she knows exactly what you are doing and she isn't freaking out and calling every half hour. Then plan on watching a movie at someones house when it gets to be after-hours.
I know that it is hard, and sometimes it may be tempting just to not hang out with her, but it's hard for her too. Be a good friend to her like you would want her to be for you. Sometimes you have to mae sacrifices for the people that you care about.
Hope everything works out okay.
Sarah
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Although your friend's mother's behavior is a TAD rediculous, you can't get upset about it. Her mother has set rules for a reason, and doesn't want anything to happen to her daughter.
Sorry, but just because you're 15 doesn't mean that you're okay to walk the streets at night & do whatever you wanna do. Just because you don't drink, smoke or party, it doesn't mean anything.
Her mother has every reason in the world to be paranoid. I'm not sure if your friend is an only child, but if she is, that just adds on to her mother's worries.
First off, I can see her reason for saying no to both the movies and ice cream. Movies at night is no big deal, but waiting for your ride is. While waiting for a ride to come get you, you may be approached by somebody. Don't say "Oh, this will never happen to me. I live in a safe area." Safe area or not, it happens everywhere, so don't think it won't happen to you. It can happen to anyone & that includes you.
As for saying no about the ice cream, I can see her reasoning for that too. More than a few girls will be WANDERING the streets at night. Not only is that dangerous, but incredibly stupid. There is no need to walk -- get a ride. You'll be safer that way. No matter who you are, what your age is, or where you live, the chances of pedophiles & strangers approaching you is high, and you need to take these things into consideration before you step outside of your house; especially with someone else's kid.
If it really bothers you so much, talk to your friend about it & see what she has to say. If what her mother is doing doesn't bother her, then leave it alone & respect her mother's decision & stop complaining. I can see your reasons for being upset about this, but you must look at it from all viewpoints before you get upset & make judgements.
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i think you should talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel about all of this.
if your friend, P, is an only child maybe that is why her mother is so paranoid and over protective. i know what it feels like because i for one am an only child and my mother sometimes does the exact same thing but she gives me my space.
another thing, today's world isnt the "best". many people today get rapped etc. and maybe her mom feels that she doesnt want just the two of you going alone for that reason. i mean, i see 11 or 12...but you guys are 15 or going to be 15 and she should have some freedom.
when your talking to your friend, maybe you should tell her to have a talk with her mom and maybe suggest some boundaries. Like maybe i cant go to the movies past so and so time...etc.
but i think you should definately talk to her.
friendship can get messy, but in the end it will be alright(:
hope i helped.
-courtney
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