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lasting relationships
okay so i don't know what to do. i've been going out with this girl for over a year now and i'm starting to get board. we have sex, that's great, but i'm not used to being with people, i can't break up with her, she'd be devstated. i don't know how to tell her that i'm just so board, but i don't know how to make things interesting again... can anyone help? please!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
tell your girlfriend that although you had feelings for her at first, it isnt going well. She deserves a guy who is better for her, because you need a girl that wont bore you...
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Well if you still like her, than you shouldn't break up with her just because you are bored with the relationship.
I think you should sit her down and have a talk.
You both can come up with ideas to spice up the relationship.
Try going to parties/outdoor events/bowling/parks/ together.
Little things mean a lot.
I hope this helped.
:D
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Well the first thing you have to decide is if you still want to be with her or not. If you no longer are in love with her and would rather be alone, yes she'll be hurt, but staying with her wouldn't be fair to her either.
In a relationship that's been going on as long as yours has, things are bound to get a little boring because it's the same person that you're around all the time. Things don't stay new and exciting for very long. That's why long-term relationships take time and effort. You can't leave at the first sign of trouble.
I understand that you're not used to being with someone like that, especially for so long, but if you're still in love with her, you should work on it. Talk to her about it and be honest with her, because she deserves your honesty. You should never hide what you're feeling from the person you're with. It's not fair to you OR them.
Maybe you can think of some ways that you can un-bore the relationship and talk to her about "spicing things up". Sometimes all you need is a couple new ingredients to spice up an old, familiar dish. Ya know?
Communication is key. Maybe you'll start talking to her about it and she'll feel the same way. Another thing to remember is that some relationships aren't meant to work out. If you don't want to be with her anymore, don't stay with her out of pity. Because then you'll end up getting so bored and aggravated that you could find your fun with other women, and that is NOT cool.
So, basically, my advice is to ask yourself if you still want to be with her. If you do, talk to her about how you feel and try to fix it. If you don't, you have to break it off with her in the best way you can so you both can move on quicker. Either way, don't be mean about it and don't make her feel like any of this is HER fault. Don't let her think that the whole relationship was just a waste of both of your time. Let her know that you do still care about her and love her, but you just think it would be best if you saw other people, took a break, and see how you both do on your own. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll find your way back to each other. If it's meant the be, it'll happen.
Good luck!
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Aww. You're cute. There's not enough guys on this site asking for advice. We need more like you...
And since you are seeking advice, let me just suggest that you might care more about her than you think you do. I bring this up because if you break up with her or ask her for some space, you may lose her forever and regret it for the rest of your life.
Being a boyfriend and being loyal isn't about being entertained. She's not a video game or a movie - she's a human being. No matter who you go out with, you're going to end up bored. That's just life. You might consider changing your expectations.
I'm afraid that if you don't start working on this behavior now, you could become one of those lonely bachelors who goes from girl to girl searching for something that he can't ever find. Guys who get bored in relationships usually end up alone because familiarity is boring.
However, since I don't know all of the circumstances, I'm not going to just advise you to just deal with it. There's a chance that you don't have relationship ADD and that girlfriend is just a very boring girl. In that case, it's better you act now than holding it in and resenting her.
If you're interested in staying with her, you need to have a talk with her. It needs to be an open and honest talk where you do most of the talking. You need to break it to her gently that you care for her and want to remain loyal to her, but that things are too routine for you.
When you talk to her, try to think of gentle replacement words. For example, instead of saying things are "boring" to you, tell her they've become "routine". Instead of saying you want to make things "interesting again," tell her you'd like to try doing "new things."
Some suggestions: Start doing different activities together and going different places. Take up a sport with her - play tennis against each other or join a bowling league together. Refrain from having sex and seeing each other as often. Allow yourself the chance to miss it and each other.
If you're unsure if you want to stay with her, still have the talk and tell her that you need some space. She might be sad, but she'll be happier in the long run when/if you miss her and want to get back together. That's better than you saying nothing, staying bored, and cheating.
If you're over the relationship, then just end it. Don't drag it out - you'll just make it harder for her. Just tell her the truth, but do it in a gentle way. Don't tell her that she's boring and you'd rather die than spend another day with her.Save that conversation for your future divorce.
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