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Friends and Music
ok... a while back, when Panic! at the Disco came on MTV, my friend Ashley started listening to some of their songs. She was really excited to show me, and I liked their songs. A lot. She realized this and claimed that I was "stealing songs from her". She says she knows that she doesn't own the band, but she just thinks it annoying. So when Panic! at the Disco died down a bit, I tried to find some songs of "my own". One was an old song from Fall Out Boy's Take This To Your Grave, which was pretty much unheard of to my friends. My friends liked that song and I didn't mind, but they acted sort of like they found it first and started listening to the rest of the album, but if I liked any of those songs, they'd get mad. Jessica told me that Ashley even told her (Jessica) not to let me borrow TTTYG when she bought it (but she let me anyway)... Now I have found more songs, most of which Ashley now "loves". I also found a new band, This Providence. I liked it because it was a band which wasn't very that well known, all to my own. I now know how Ashley felt. But I didn't act the way she did when she liked those songs that I found. We still like to show people our favorite new songs, but we expect people to be impressed, really, not to take the song. I showed her one song from them and all of a sudden she loooved that song. She told people that she only liked 2 songs from them, but then she later called me and requested a burnt cd of them. I didn't really say anything, but I felt all... territorial. Like "They're Miine!" I hope at least SOME people know what I'm talking about and how I feel, but I don't know what to say to Ashley.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First of all, I know how you feel. Its nice to have a band that not a lot of people have heard of. Its a nice feeling that you like something that not everyone else listens to -- but then, when its on the radio or your friends find it and they show other people, it feels like its not so special anymore =[
I don't think your friend Ashley is worth it. However, if you expect people to be impressed with the song, they probably are going to want to listen to it and in a way, make it "their own". However, when they start making up stories that they "found it first" like your friend is doing, well its just not fair. And when you "take" a song and make it "your own", Ashley seems to get mad which doesn't sound like a true friendship.
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Tell your friend she over reacted about the song because music is made so EVERYONE can listen to it. I love it when my friends listen to the same songs as me, that way we can listen to them together and sing them together in gym (long story). Anyways, don't worry if people start listening to the same stuff as you, just be happy. But if they start being snobby about it (like those girls you mentioned) then call them out on it.
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You're missing the point. Music is supposed to bring people together. I LOVE to discover new music. It's exciting. You should want to discover it for the love of the music, not to impress people. I always burn my best friends mixed cds, because I am the music lover of the group, and I do it because I like enjoying the songs together, not so they will think "Oh wow, she found them all by herself, that's so cool". Sure, it's a perk, but it shouldn't be your only motivation. I do, however, know how you feel in some sense. I was listening to Gym Class Heroes like a year before they got popular. Same with the Plain White T's. And Boys Like Girls. And tons of other bands. But the only problem I have with them getting popular is when a song I love gets so overplayed it gets ruined for me. I remember the first time I saw Boys Likg Girls on MTV. I was so excited, and its funny, because I was also really proud. Because I had been listening to them for so long, I felt like, Aw, they finally made it big, Make mama proud (lol). So take a different approach to the music. Who cares who discovers the good bands, as long as they get discovered. Share this viewpoint with Ashley too. It'll show that you're the mature one and she's immature for trying to look so cool.
Good Luck & Happy Listening
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I agree with the previous answer, I had a friend like that. She would show me music like Evanescence that I wound up really liking. Anyway, everytime she saw me listening to that song, she'd be all "I showed that song to you! You wouldn't be listening to that if it weren't for me! Rawrrr!".
Anyway, I tried doing the same to her by saying "I showed you that song!" everytime she'd listen to a song I introduced her to, and of course she would always make up some story to cover it like "I listened to this song long before you did!".
Stupid, right?
Long story short, we wound up breaking up. I agree with the previous post by saying she's not worth it.
It would probably be best if you dumped her.
Hope I helped ^-^
14/F
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Honestly, any "friend" who gets mad because you "stole songs from her" is probably not a person worth being friends with. She's obviously very immature. Its MUSIC, for crying out loud! It shouldn't be that big of a deal. Ashley is a person that you probably shouldn't be friends with anymore. If she's that territorial about music, just think how territorial she'll be over other and more important things.
My advice: tell her how she made you feel and give her a chance to apologize for her immaturity, and if she doesn't, don't feel obligated to hang out with her much more.
--Jack
(15/m)
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