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What happened?
19/f, guy's 21/m.
Okay, so we dated for awhile last year, and then we broke up, but we stayed "together"...complicated. Anyway, so for like a year, this guy has been frustrating me, upsetting me, making me cry more often than smile (and I'm not a crier), and recently I feel like he and I have reconnected. We've both gone through some life changes recently, me moreso than him (a near death experience will do that to ya), and all of a sudden I feel like the guy I'm hanging out with and having fun with and flirting with is a completely different person than the guy who made me cry on and off for like a year straight.
Is it me that's changed and seeing his softer side, or do you think it's him that's changed?
There's like, visible chemistry between us again - it died down for awhile, but now everyone is asking me (I don't know about him) when we're getting back together.
I don't believe in second chances. I feel like we're still on our first. We had a slight hiatus where I was kind of dating someone else, but my heart wasn't in it. This guy that I'm talking about never fell out of love with me, I don't think. He used to have this really distinctive look right before he'd say "I love you", and I've been seeing it in his eyes a lot lately - he just hasn't said those three words...
He's been doing all this stuff for me that he's said he doesn't do, like paying for girls (granted, I'm broke and he's not a complete a$$hole), and chasing girls...I've tried to kind of "escape" him a couple of times, and he's never let me go.
I'm looking for opinions on this, I left it very open ended. Lemme know what you think.
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i think the person before me is right. the near death experience changed your perspective. but at the same time, no matter how changed your perspective might be the fact is he still doesn't treat you all that right. and it sounds to me like he's trying to make up for it and keep you around. doesn't sound to me like he wants you, heck he wont even say he loves you. sounds to me more like he just wants to keep you around out of a fear of being alone. and you want to keep him around even though he isn't that great because you learned a fear of death and of your mortality. and that; when someone learns of their mortality is often an experience that changes their whole life and makes them rethink everything.
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i think maybe having a near death experience might have changed the way you looked at things, maybe it was not taking as much for granted or realizing you don't have all the time in the world. either way, he may have notice this change in you and that could have been what he needed to change his outlook as well. also, almost losing you could have been an eye opener for him, realizing you are the one he loves and he can't keep making you upset. talk to him about it and if things work out, maybe an exception for second chances?
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I think that maybe, sence you were on a "haitus" for a while, you both kind of realized how much you love eachother, and that there really is no one else out there for either one of you. And I think that both of your changing kind of helped everything out, because you can understand eachother better because you both know what's it like to be apart, and you know you don't want to be a apart. Hope I could help! xoxo
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