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so lonely
14/f
I'm just a really lonely person. all the time. I don't have siblings, and I don't have friends or a boyfriend. I can't make and keep a friend, unless THEY initiate it. I'm not really shy or anything but i just don't know what it is.
my life exists only on the internet.
What can I do to feel less lonely?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Learn to love people and just help people. Be curious of others and talk with them about their problems. That might sound weird, but if you get a different focus then you wont be lonely and your life will definitely have a purpose. Join a youth group at a church, or join a sport team. Join clubs, and just invite people over and just talk to everyone and be really nice. Everyone wishes that life was like the movies, when people just come into their lives and change it. but reality is not like that. We have to work for things, like friends, boyfriends, ect. We cant just expect it to come to us. Thats how you get to know people and see who you click with, and find a whole lot of things about yourself. you might not feel that you click with alot of people, but make yourself worth knowing. and who knows, sometimes, as twisted as life is, sometimes the most beautiful things are unexpected. But we still have to work for alot of things, and we do have to try to be friends with people, because everyone is the same way. and once you meet really close friends, you wont have to try! i really hope to help, because i kinda no what you feel like and it really does hurt like hell.
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It's normal for people of any age to feel lonely at times and the teenage years can be especially tough. But with a little work and patience I think you can start to feel better and less isolated.
First of all, the internet can be great but if you're on it too much it can keep you from interacting with people in "real" life. Try to limit your time onit and instead start finding things that are enjoyable to do around other people.
Depending on what you enjoy doing you can do things such as joining a reading group or book club at your local library, volunteering at an animal shelter, signing up for a class at your local YMCA,taking part in a community garden or anything that gets you involved in something that you enjoy and at the same time around other people.
Talk to your parents about your feelings of loneliness too, if you're comfortable doing that, and ask them for any input or ideas that they may have. When I was your age I had a tough time making friends too but my mom ended up signing me up for acting lessons and it was a lot of fun. If that's not something you like then you can try something else that may strike your interest such as dance classes or an arts & crafts class. The reason I'm suggesting these things is that this is a good way to meet people your age who have similar interests and in this way it's easier to talk with them and maybe start some friendships.
I know that it can be really tough feeling this lonely but the more you get out and around other people, the less isolated you'll feel. Just be sure to show an interest in others when you talk to them. Make eye contact and ask them questions about themselves to get things started, such as their interests, their family, etc.
Take care and I wish you all the best.
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There is NO excuse for you to be feeling this way and without friends and people to connect with. You have everything they do from intelligence, charm, talents, sense of humor and you are interesting and beautiful too.
If you believe that you are worthy of friends, friendly, amazing and just like everyone people will see you as confident and not back off like they are now sensing you to be quiet and maybe even sullen.
What you need to do is apply all the qualities that get you Internet friends easily into your every day experiences with people.
Your classmates aren't going to bite or snarl for that matter if you approach them and just talk to them like you would your own family. You'll find them getting interested in you. Also if you like certain people and want them as friends invite them to hang out or throw a party and invite them over.
The thing is you expect them to initiate things and they're not always going to do that with you. You need to start initiating things and go after the friends you want and believe in yourself.
You need to join Student Council which forces you to talk to and meet others and make friends or other after school clubs or take courses through parks and rec for people your age to meet people your age.
The other thing you really need to do is see an adolescent psychiatrist to help you figure out why you cannot make friends, why your life is all in cyber space and give you the social skills and coping skills and defensive skills to meet people and thrive like any other teenager. You need to figure out what is causing all this so you can move forward and excel.
You might not like the idea of a shrink but many teens and adults have them as do a lot of your favorite celebs. This is the only real way I know of helping your problem as I was there like you and did this.
You just have to be bloody honest with them and your family as hiding stuff or not letting things out will do nothing at all to help you. You should talk to your parents and get on this as it could really change your life and social life too. Your doctor is your best ally when it comes to this.
You also need to be assessed for depression and other disorders to see if there's something on a medical level with your mental health and outlook that is causing you all this trouble and also to see if your problem can be related to certain fears and abnormal anxiety issues.
I say all this as I've been there and through the same things I'm recommending. It will and can help. You really in my opinion need professional help, support and one on on counselling to deal with this and get around the issues causing you not to have a normal teenage life.
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Well start going up to people and make small talk. And everything should unravel from then, but YOU have to make an effort to keep people's interest and be their friend. It's not always easy but that's really what you have to do.
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