I'm a married mom and writer who enjoys life and who also enjoys helping others. I give helpful, compassionate and down to earth advice for things that I myself have experienced or learned about.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Writer, artist
Member Since: June 25, 2007
Answers: 9
Last Update: June 30, 2007
Visitors: 2453
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Hey. So for a while now my mom has been drinking alcohol a lot. She has been moody and when she dinks you can tell. She gets all fazed and dosen't understand or react well to things that you say or ask. She knows it is a problem and went to meetings for it but that she just stopped. She hasn't been going. When I was little she was never like this. She rarely ever drank. Now with stress from work and my sister and I she just changed. My sister and I did softball and she came to about 1 to 3 of the games, and made my dad go to the rest or dhe would have another person drive us home. She hasn't been involved in anything that my sister or I do, and now she is even working on my sisters birthday and won't be home all day even though she has that power to ask her boss to have her work another day. When my mom drinks my sister yells at her and is really hard on her which makes her drink more and when I try to confront her i never know what to say and if I do say something her only answer is that shes working on it and that she doesn't want to talk about it. Please help! What should i say? (link)
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I'm really sorry to hear that your mom and your whole family is going through this. Even though I know this may be hard to do, try to remember that only your mom can make herself stop drinking. I'm sure that your sister is upset and frustrated, as you all must be, but yelling at her won't help the situation. Your mom has to be the one who wants to take that first step and no amount of pressuring will work. You and your family can offer support and compassion but that's about all you can do.
One thing I really want to let you know is that you or the rest of your family are not to blame for your mom's drinking. She's going through her own personal pain right now and you in no way caused her to do this. Drinking and alcoholism can be a family illness, in other words the family can get caught up in the drama and pain of the drinker so it's very important that all of you find some kind of guidance and support. I'd really advise your dad to go to al-anon which is a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. I don't know how old you are but there is also something called ala-teen which is similar to al-anon but is for teenagers.
The website for ala-teen is http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/alameetings.html and if you mouse over the side menu on the website you'll be able to read all sorts of helpful information.
You can also call 1-888-425-2666 to ask about information on meetings near you. It's free of charge and you can call from 8am-6pm Eastern time. By the way, the meetings are also free to attend.
I wish you and your family all the best, take care.
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Ok, I need help finding a poetry contest thats not fake. All help will be looked into. (link)
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One of my prefered ways to find poetry contests is in Poets & Writers Magazine. If you buy a copy, look in the back section where they list poetry and other types of writing competitions. They always add new ones each month, so if you don't see something you like then try again the next time.
From my experience in looking around the web a big majority of them are scams. But the warning signs of a scam are usually the following:
They don't require an entry fee (nearly all legitimate poetry competitions will require some type of entry fee to cover the judging and prizes)
Usually offer large cash awards (because the sponsor tries to entice people who enter with anthologies, plaques, etc.)
Most legititmate competitions have a focused theme, so if you see a competition that accepts any type or style of poetry, watch out!
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I just watched "Hide & Seek" the other day with my friends. Well, in the end, it shows a picture that Emily drew of herself and her new guardian. In the picture, Emily has 2 heads. Did she draw it this way because she has a personality disorder like her father? Also, what is this multiple personality disorder caused? Lastly, Emily and her dad's neighbors - what did they have to do with anything? Why were they even in it? Why were they important? And why was the wife neighbor like, "You have to leave. My husband makes it very painful." or something and why was the husband crazy-looking/sounding? THankkss so much. (link)
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Hi,
I can only answer one of your questions, the one about multiple personality disorder and how it's caused. Currently it's called DID or dissociative identity disorder. It's not a common psychiatric disorder but people nearly always develop it in early childhood after a severe or repeated trauma, such as severe physical or sexual abuse.
DID is basically an extreme coping mechanism in which the mind is so unable to deal with the trauma that it fragments into other "personalities" who can better cope with the trauma. When a person switches to another personality this is considered a type of dissociation and because they don't completely break from reality it's not considered a psychosis. DID is sometimes mistakenly referred to as schizophrenia, but schizophrenia is a severe brain disorder that has underlying biological causes. I hope this is a little helpful for you. :)
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Okay, i'm trying this new thing were everyday i think of the good qualities of myself. And it seems to be working, i am more confident in everything! So then everything is great, until i get to school. I Love my friends. But all they do is put themselves down! One of my friends the other day, all she said almost all day was "Im Fat. I need to lose weight." and i kept telling her she doesnt. But when she keeps saying it, i feel the need to put myself down aswell, like say, "No your not, i am". And i want to be able to stop doing that. I dont know if this question makes much sence, but i tried. What im bascially saying is, How can i get myself to stop putting myself down infront of friends who put themselfs down.
lol that didnt make sence XD (link)
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First of all, I think it's great that you're appreciating the good qualities of yourself and working on thinking positive.
I think a lot of times people put themselves down the way your friends do because of insecurity, and a lot of times I think people even expect it of eachother, which is sad. But the best thing I can suggest is to try very hard not to fall into that trap when you're around your friends. Be a good example to them by pointing out to them what you see as their good points and when they put themselves down just say "No, you're not" and then change the subject.
I think that the more you do this, and the more that you show yourself to be comfortable with yourself and a confident person, the more this will rub off on your friends. Even if they don't stop the habit of putting themselves down, at least you will still be feeling good about yourself for not putting yourself down. Best of luck to you!
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15 f
my mom wont let me out. she gets mad even if i go to my friends house. since its summer vacation i dont want to stay in my house all bored. but she doesnt let me go out. i dont have cable, im an only child, and the only thing is the computer but i hate playing games in it and a computer cant entertain me for 12 hours a day. what can i do at home thats fun for me? or how can i make my mom let me go out. im tired of staying here. thanks! (link)
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You should talk to your mom some more about this because that's a lot of time to have to spend by yourself. She may be doing this because she's worried you'll get into trouble of some kind so she could be over-protective, especially since you're an only child.
But the best thing to do is talk to her in a calm ,reasonable way about things that you can do during the summer. Let her know that you need the socialization and activity. Look into things that are going on where you live. Do you have a YMCA near you? Then ask about any activities that they're offering for teens. Sometimes schools or churches will offer summer activity programs for teens too so you can call around and ask about these. This way, if your mom is worried about your supervision and safety, you can tell her that these are supervised by adults and you can put her mind at ease.
If she doesn't want you going over to your friends houses, then ask if a friend can come over to your house to visit. If it's at all possible, maybe you can ask an adult friend of the family or a family member to speak on your behalf or to offer you some moral support.
I wish you all the best.
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Recently I've been needing a lot of sleep. I've been getting about thirteen hours a day, if not more. I'm absolutely exhausted and cannot get up any earlier. I don't feel otherwise sick.
My question: is this a symptom of any sicknesses or anything? (link)
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There could be a lot of reasons for your exhaustion but I'd really suggest that you go see your doctor and get some simple lab tests done. It could possibly be that you're anemic or have a thyroid problem and these are easily remedied. You also just may be stressed out and over-tired because of something going on in your life and this could be making you feel this way.
So, go see your doctor and let him or her know what's going on then see what they say. I wish you all the best, take care.
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I can't swallow pills and so i usually cut big ones in half or something, but these new ones i got taste AWFUL without the coating on it and because it's cut i can taste it. it's so bad i cant even take them, are there any ways that you can like mix them into something so you don't taste much of it? thank you so much (link)
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Some of those big pills can be really hard to swallow. But it's important to note that pills for certain medications should not be cut up or crushed because the coating may be important to protect the stomach lining from the medication, or they may be time-released pills and cutting or crushing them will mess up the time-release capability.
What I'd really suggest is, if you're taking a prescription medication, ask your doctor to prescribe it in liquid form. A lot of times certain medications can be prescribed this way so it couldn't hurt to ask.
If what you're taking isn't available in liquid form then ask your pharmacist if it's okay to cut up or crush the pill. If it is, then you can mix it in with something sweet to mask the taste.
But here's another note of caution. Some medications aren't supposed to be taken with certain foods (for example, a lot of antibiotics shouldn't be taken with dairy products because it reduces their effectiveness) so again, ask your pharmacist about this. They're almost always very helpful about things like this and I'm sure they can help you find some solutions.
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OK, this is very weird & sorry, I had no idea what to put it under. Anyway, for some reason, when I eat a meal, I never ever eat the last bite. I mean I'm sure I could if I really tried, but, it usually just happens that there is that little last piece that I feel I can't eat! Everyones is like, "oh, you can't eat that last little bit?" But, I just don't do it. Any ideas on why this is so normal for me? (link)
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Well, it could be a couple of reasons. You mention that you could if you "really tried", which suggests that you're already full enough by that time. So it's a good thing that you don't force yourself to eat that last piece, even if it is little, because it sounds like you know your limits when it comes to eating. That old-fashioned idea that some people have of a person having to clean their plate can actually set people up for over-eating. So, I guess what I'm saying is that you probably know when to say enough is enough when eating, which is good.
I also leave a little bit on my plate at the end of a meal and sometimes I do it because I feel self-conscious about eating everything on the plate, even though I know I shouldn't really feel that way; that could be another reason why you do it.
But as long as you're eating healthy I really wouldn't worry about it. :) Take care.
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14/f
I'm just a really lonely person. all the time. I don't have siblings, and I don't have friends or a boyfriend. I can't make and keep a friend, unless THEY initiate it. I'm not really shy or anything but i just don't know what it is.
my life exists only on the internet.
What can I do to feel less lonely? (link)
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It's normal for people of any age to feel lonely at times and the teenage years can be especially tough. But with a little work and patience I think you can start to feel better and less isolated.
First of all, the internet can be great but if you're on it too much it can keep you from interacting with people in "real" life. Try to limit your time onit and instead start finding things that are enjoyable to do around other people.
Depending on what you enjoy doing you can do things such as joining a reading group or book club at your local library, volunteering at an animal shelter, signing up for a class at your local YMCA,taking part in a community garden or anything that gets you involved in something that you enjoy and at the same time around other people.
Talk to your parents about your feelings of loneliness too, if you're comfortable doing that, and ask them for any input or ideas that they may have. When I was your age I had a tough time making friends too but my mom ended up signing me up for acting lessons and it was a lot of fun. If that's not something you like then you can try something else that may strike your interest such as dance classes or an arts & crafts class. The reason I'm suggesting these things is that this is a good way to meet people your age who have similar interests and in this way it's easier to talk with them and maybe start some friendships.
I know that it can be really tough feeling this lonely but the more you get out and around other people, the less isolated you'll feel. Just be sure to show an interest in others when you talk to them. Make eye contact and ask them questions about themselves to get things started, such as their interests, their family, etc.
Take care and I wish you all the best.
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