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Did I lose a friend?
I've liked this guy for a long time (I'll call him John) and my best guy friend I will call Bob. Bob and I used to be really close, we would tell each other everything. He liked me for a long time, a few years, and then told everyone he got over me. I never had feelings for him.
I told Bob that I really liked John. John and Bob were good friends. But Bob claimed that John was just a "funny guy" so he doesnt really like him, he just liked to laugh at him.
Anyway recently John asked me out =] and I said yes, I've been so happy I can't contain it. And a week or so ago Bob said he was done being friends with our group of friends. He ignored all of us but now he's only ignoring me. I'm not really making an attempt to talk to him because he was getting on my nerves a lot before.
Now if he hangs out with us he always gets drunk first then just sits off to the side listening to his ipod.
My good girl friend Liz talked to him and told me that the reason he has been drinking is because he hates seeing John and I together.
I think it's totally selfish and over dramatic. If he was such a good friend why cant he at least try to be happy for me? I've never been this happy before. Why is it all about Bob being so upset? It's not like if I wasnt with John I would be with Bob. I doubt I will ever like Bob.
John is absolutely worth it. Bob said he was done being friends with all of us a week or so before John asked me out. Since when he said that I have been mad at Bob. I really think John did nothing wrong. Bob said he was over me but then he gets all upset that I'm with John. It's not fair that I should have to feel guilty for something I'm really happy about.
What am I supposed to do? I feel bad but at the same time I don't mind not having Bob around and I'm really enjoying being with John. I don't think Bob is being fair. What do I do??
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You're right, Bob is being unfair, selfish, and immature. If he was over you, he wouldn't be ignoring you. I understand that maybe he still likes you and is jealous out of his mind, but if he really cared for you, he wouldn't ignore you. That's just ridiculous.
If you don't mind not having Bob around, then don't worry about it. Have fun with John and your friends and just let Bob decide what he wants to do. It's up to him if he wants your friendship.
If you'd like to continue your friendship with Bob, you're going to have to talk to him. Tell him how you feel about him ignoring you and ask him what the deal is. If he tells you, you can go from there. If he doesn't tell you and continues to not be your friend, then he's not worth it.
Bob just doesn't seem like a very loyal friend. If John is worth it, then just feast your attention on him. :)
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hey
i totally understand everything you said. but bob DID like you and the fact that you and john started going out must have really broken his heart, and that's why he's being so mean & "selfish." but imagine if you really liked john, but john liked another girl, haley, and john was so happy with haley. you would be jealous too.
so don't go telling everyone that you're mad at bob because honestly, bob has every right be mad, although he shouldn't be so immature. i completely understand his position, and sympathize with him.
however, just ignore him if he's being a jackass. i know you and him were really really good friends, but you're perfectly happy with john and that's all that matters. if you truly doubt that you will never like bob, ever, then just screw it. be nice to him, like if he says hi say hi, but just keep your space. try to look at it from his perspective.
i'm honestly quite surprised that john isn't being really mean to bob because john has you and bob doesnt. john is being quite mature, but i don't think either of you should be mad at him cause that's not helping the situation at all.
don't even bother trying to talk to bob - if he really really wanted to be friends with you, he would talk to you and such but if you try to talk to him, what would be the point? you know why he's mad, and there's nothing you can do or anyone for that matter because you're with john and john and you are perfectly happy.
just let it go. but be open to bob if he ever wants to be friends again & regrets what he did. okay? cause if john liked haley [random person] you would be really mad at john and ESPECIALLY haley and try to be like haley cause john likes haley so much. well if you get over john one day and haley is out of his life, you might consider becoming friends with john again.
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