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opening up
Alright, so i have problems opening up. I know my boyfriend gets frusterated sometimes because i'll be upset and not tell him whats wrong for a while. Its like i have a hard time saying whats on my mind while the time is right. I really do try and open up and communicate better but its something thats kind of hard for me, for some reason. Its like when I'm talking to him I dont tell him things that I should and then when I hang up I think of things I should have told him. Does anyone else have this problem or have any advice on how to work on communicating better? Thanks. (18/f)
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hey babe,
i think you should try writing him letters or text him because then you can go back and erase & once you get comfortable w/ him you can probably open up easier, if you dont think you really could open up with him, maybe he isn't the guy because in a relationship its all about that & trust and maybe you just don't trust him.
hope everything works out better
♥kay
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I am EXACTLY like you. I don't tell my boyfriend a lot of things because I don't want him to worry about me.
Put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes. If something was upsetting him, wouldn't you want to know what was on his mind? Start trusting your boyfriend more. He obviously cares for you and just wants to know what you're thinking.
If something is bothering you, and it has to do with him, he has a right to know so things can be fixed between you. If the problem has nothing to do with him, and you don't want to tell him about it, just tell him part of the information and say you don't want to talk about it. A simple, "I'm just stressed out because of my job. I don't really want to talk about it." is WAY better than telling him nothing at all. This will ease some of his frustration.
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i have this problem, and many girls out there do. its hard to open up to people easily.. but if you really trust your boyfriend it should be easier. just think to yourself.. i love my boyfriend, and he loves me, he wantes me to be happy and he cares, he'll listen to me and do whatever he can to make me feel better. it is very hard but it works. talking about this over the phone is harder, it might sound crazy but talking in person is so much better. try talking to a parent or someone closer 1st b4 your boyfriend. if your still having trouble.. find my page again and ill help you some mor.e good luck! =)
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well i dont have this problem but it can be serious if you dont say whats on your mind. you should get a diary or journal to write your thoughts down. whenever you feel like you missed your time then go back and say it right away. or practice what your going to say and tell them the next time you see that person.... hope that helped!
~~~~~Candi xox luv~~~~~
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I think a lot of girls do this. When something is bothering us, we keep it inside and just act mad or quiet, instead of coming out and saying what's wrong. I think it's because we're afraid our guy will think we're being silly or nagging or whiney, or that opening up will start a big fight. Or we think, "he should KNOW what's wrong! I shouldn't have to tell him!" But most of the time, guys honestly have no clue what's bothering us! And if we don't tell them, we aren't giving them the chance to correct the problem. If you find it hard to talk about a problem in person, try writing a note. Then you can take your time and word it exactly the way you want. You can start off by saying, "Something has been bothering me, and I thought it was better to let you know instead of keeping it inside, because I really care about you and don't want this to get in the way of our relationship." But whether you say it in person or in a note, it really is best to get things off your chest. Keeping it inside and acting angry or distant will not get it solved - it will just make things worse.
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Things like that do happen and I think they do to a lot of people even though they may not admit it. Generally it's because of the heat of the moment. If you're on the phone and someone asks what's wrong and you tell them you're being put on the spot as such. After you hang up you think damn I should have said this and that too. On the other hand if someone had txt you asking you what's wrong you have time to think about it before replying - you're not being put on the spot where you have to give your answer right then and there.
A good way to over come this might be to try write what it is that bothers you and let him read it afterwards. Also I think talking to him about this may also do you some good as he knows what's going on and that you're not just locking him out on purpose.
Why you do it is unknown to me but the only guess I can take would be that you just have a hard time opening up to people in general or that you're just afraid to open up and let people in past your defences. Maybe someone had hurt you in the past as a result of you opening up to them so it's becomes harder to do now, even without you knowing it? I'm honestly not sure but I think with time it should improve. Usually all it takes to change a person is time so it might just be all that you need. As I said though you may want to talk to your boyfriend about this so he knows what's going on and to just bare with you and so he can support you.
Hope I was some (a little) help.
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